Over the years, I’ve learned how important both verbal and nonverbal communication is in a relationship. Healthy communication, then, requires a new blueprint for those who have experienced childhood abuse.
Children who are abused may adapt by retaining a habit of constant vigilance—as though they’re constantly under a state of siege. Their worlds are populated not by security but by patterns of risk and attack.
When the world is against you, when people are out to get you, when events are against you, you live in a state of siege. A siege mentality contributes to the state of Red Alert. Unresolved anger is a breeding ground for stress
Childhood abuse is multilayered. Neglect and physical and sexual abuse are always accompanied by devastating emotional damage. This childhood abuse can appear as aggressive actions of harm as well as passive failures to act.
Have you ever been so mad at someone (it doesn’t have to be a parent) that it’s all you could think about? Every time you were around that person, you kept thinking about how mad you were. You didn’t want to be around that person.
I’d like you to take the time to really think about, and evaluate, the significant relationships in your life. These may be with parents, spouses, siblings, children, mentors, or extended family.
I believe a negative pattern of worry is established in childhood, based upon life circumstances, experiences, and perceptions. So, in order to find a way out, you need to be able to backtrack along your way in, to where worry started in the first place.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said that the only way to have a friend is to be one. The depth of your character is best gauged by the depth of your friendships.
Pornography addiction is like any addiction, in that it is progressive in nature. What began as exciting and arousing becomes less so over time, and there is a need to increase the amount, volume, and depravity of the images in order to achieve the same level of stimulation.
Anxiety has written a script where you play the part of a frazzled, anxious, suspicious, irritable, short-tempered, and easily frustrated person. How do you want to be perceived by the other players on stage? When you take control of your own script, you determine the part you are going to play and then you act accordingly.
When dealing with your emotional abuse, it may be easy to view things with tunnel vision. All you may see is the pain and damage of the abuse. You may not see some of the reasons behind it. Nothing can explain it away.
The only path to peace is forgiveness — turning bitterness into kindness and resentment into compassion. By doing so, you claim victory over your enemies by refusing to participate in the war. By claiming victory, you establish your own peace.