Category: Abuse

Blog posts, news articles, and other resources from The Center • A Place of HOPE

Learning to Feel Again After Childhood Abuse

By: Dr. Gregory Jantz  •  November 29, 2019

Loss produces pain, so using the term “numbing out” is not a coincidence. So many of the survival strategies used by abused children are meant to do just that—provide a way to numb the pain.  You may think you’re avoiding the pain, but you’re not. The pain is still there,...

Rediscovering Childhood Through Your Adult Eyes

By: Dr. Gregory Jantz  •  June 30, 2019

When you were growing up, you may have been told over and over, in a variety of ways, that you weren’t good enough, smart enough fast enough, thin enough, or just plain not enough of anything to please your parents.  In order to numb this crushing sense of failure and...

Abuse and Parental Authority

By: Dr. Gregory Jantz  •  October 28, 2018

If the parenting model you grew up with was fundamentally flawed, you may be at a loss to determine what is normal and what is not, what is helpful and what is harmful.

Is There More to Love Than What You've Experienced?

By: Dr. Gregory Jantz  •  May 31, 2018

One of the core traits of a dependent personality is difficulty accepting challenging or disturbing truths about self or others out of a need to maintain the status quo.

Ten Questions to Ask About Childhood Abuse

By: Dr. Gregory Jantz  •  January 28, 2018

Resilient as children are, childhood abuse, in its various forms, can decimate a child's sense of self. Here are ten questions to consider when processing the struggles associated with childhood abuse.

Encountering a Sexual Manipulator

By: Dr. Gregory Jantz  •  December 6, 2017

Sheila sat on her bed and cried out in frustration.  What was she going to do?  The fear she'd been carrying around inside for the past six months finally was realized.  He's made it clear that if she wanted to get her promotion, she'd have to "cooperate" with him.  Sheila...

Emotional Abuse: The Effects on Sense of Self

By: Dr. Gregory Jantz  •  March 30, 2017

Any kind of abuse, emotional abuse included, is an attack on a person's sense of self. It demeans and controls that person through words or actions, devaluing that person and ultimately elevating the abuser.

What Does Forgiveness Mean to You?

By: Dr. Gregory Jantz  •  October 26, 2016

Of all the ways we can respond to each other, you can choose love, mercy, and forgiveness. These will first enrich your life, then bless the lives of others.

Four Attachment Styles in Relationships Dependency

By: Dr. Gregory Jantz  •  September 4, 2016

Attachment theory highlights the importance of a strong, healthy attachment in childhood. This important attachment comes at the earliest stages of life to a parent or primary caregiver, usually a mother. This first, fundamental attachment, or relationship, sets the stage for all relationships going forward.

Healing Emotional Abuse Through Self-Commitment

By: Dr. Gregory Jantz  •  February 28, 2016

The effects of emotional abuse on your sense of self are significant. Yet often these effects are not linked to the emotional abuse you have suffered. Because this connection has not been made, you may find yourself suffering from one or several of these effects without really understanding why. Here...

Recognizing the Put-Down Artist in Emotional Abuse

By: Dr. Gregory Jantz  •  February 6, 2016

“So you really think you can get that job, huh? What a joke! Why in the world would anyone want to hire you?” Jeff’s older brother sneered at him with disgust.“Well, I guess because I’m a hard worker and I’m willing to learn,” Jeff responded angrily, feeling that familiar knot...

Emotional Abuse: The Illusionist

By: Dr. Gregory Jantz  •  January 29, 2016

“Bill is such a great guy!” Carly smiled and made some sort of neutral comment. It did absolutely no good to dispute the evidence of Bill’s obvious charm. He was engaging, witty, energetic, and charismatic. People liked him. She knew the feeling. When Carly first met Bill, she was overwhelmed...

How Victimization Leads to Anger

By: Dr. Gregory Jantz  •  November 17, 2015

Along with tying your identity to your anger, there is also a temptation to define yourself as a victim: once a victim, always a victim.  This negative, fatalistic approach has its perceived positives.  If you consider yourself a victim, you have a familiar template with which to evaluate yourself and...

Identifying Spiritual Abuse in Relationships

By: Dr. Gregory Jantz  •  September 30, 2015

Spiritual abuse is used as a way to manipulate and control, and it usurps divine authority in order to promote self, which is the opposite of what God does.

Overlooked Emotional Abuse

By: Dr. Gregory Jantz  •  June 8, 2015

As a professional counselor treating eating disorders for over twenty-five years, I am very concerned about the often over-looked issue of emotional abuse. For many years I have noticed that the focus of abuse, even the concept of abuse, has centered around the physical beatings, outward neglect, and sexual invasion...

Growing Up Without Emotional Security

By: Dr. Gregory Jantz  •  June 1, 2015

One of the deepest needs of children is consistency, including the certain knowledge that they are unconditionally accepts and valued by those who love them. Small children crave the repetitive, constant nature of certain stories in which the same words or phrases are used over and over again. Children learn...

Self-Medicating Through Self-Harming

By: Dr. Gregory Jantz  •  April 10, 2015

Terry sat in the train station worrying. She worried she was at the wrong track. She worried the train would be late. She worried her daughter wouldn’t be able to pick her up at the other end. Terry worried this entire trip was really a bother to her daughter, especially...

Acceptance Versus Denial

By: Dr. Gregory Jantz  •  December 30, 2014

Verbal and/or emotional abuse leaves no visible scars, so the tendency to deny that these events happened can be great. Often the parent will remember the circumstances from a very different perspective than the child. The child-self recalls one version of events, and the parent another. Which is right? They...

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