This soundtrack you’ve been living with wasn’t recorded overnight. Instead, it’s a compilation of messages you’ve heard, impressions and impacts you’ve assimilated, and conclusions you’ve reached over the course of your life.
It appears that when boys—or men—are engaged fully in a task, they develop a sort of tunnel vision. This ability to concentrate has some advantages, as it allows for minimal disruption due to distractions and, presumably, increased productivity.
Children who are abused may adapt by retaining a habit of constant vigilance—as though they’re constantly under a state of siege. Their worlds are populated not by security but by patterns of risk and attack.
One’s childhood can be stolen through so many types of abuse, including sexual abuse. Childhood sexual abuse can happen through the overt actions of others or the failure to shield children from sexual content or behaviors.
Adults who take out their anger on children rarely are truthful about the source of that anger and hostility. Some shift the blame unfairly to their punching bag of choice, placing the burden of their actions, as well as the reasons for the actions, on the child.
Have you ever been so mad at someone (it doesn’t have to be a parent) that it’s all you could think about? Every time you were around that person, you kept thinking about how mad you were. You didn’t want to be around that person.
I believe a negative pattern of worry is established in childhood, based upon life circumstances, experiences, and perceptions. So, in order to find a way out, you need to be able to backtrack along your way in, to where worry started in the first place.
During adolescence, you become attracted to the opposite sex. If you want to know more about that person, you have to ask. If you want to just be around that person because it feels good, you have to do more than just walk alongside. At some point, you need to begin a conversation with that person.
As adults have gone through adolescence ourselves, we recognize that being a teen is a black-or-white, all-or-nothing time. Much of this roller coaster of emotions has to do with the hormonal, chemical changes going on within a teenage body. There are a couple of key things you can do as a parent to help your teen weather this particular storm.
In today’s social media–saturated world, no analysis of relationships would be complete without proper attention to the criteria you set for your friends—online and off. If you are engaged in online relationships that you consider to be a prominent source of support and companionship, be sure determine the strength of the relationships based on these factors.