To take charge of your life, you need to know what life is really about. You need to live your life in reality, looking for and acknowledging what is real and truthful, even if it hurts or is uncomfortable or triggers an anxiety.
Anxious people can appear paralyzed by fear. They can go to extreme lengths to avoid anything that triggers their fear. They can make elaborate excuses and put off handling anything that produces anxiety.
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Anxieties are progressive, so it seems logical that one of the answers to anxiety would be a progression of a different kind. When a fear starts out small and keeps expanding, the way to combat anxiety is to cut that anxiety down to size. Instead of trying to take on the whole fear, you start small, working your way up your fear, like climbing a ladder.
Children who are abused may adapt by retaining a habit of constant vigilance—as though they’re constantly under a state of siege. Their worlds are populated not by security but by patterns of risk and attack.
Now is the time to give yourself permission to assign relaxation a place in your life. Learning to relax means you will initially need to work at not working.
Adults who take out their anger on children rarely are truthful about the source of that anger and hostility. Some shift the blame unfairly to their punching bag of choice, placing the burden of their actions, as well as the reasons for the actions, on the child.
When you’ve got the chaos of worries running and ducking for cover, when you’ve got them crawling over the control of your life, it can be difficult to remember what the focus is.
Childhood abuse is multilayered. Neglect and physical and sexual abuse are always accompanied by devastating emotional damage. This childhood abuse can appear as aggressive actions of harm as well as passive failures to act.
I believe a negative pattern of worry is established in childhood, based upon life circumstances, experiences, and perceptions. So, in order to find a way out, you need to be able to backtrack along your way in, to where worry started in the first place.