Often, it’s only when our eyes have been washed clear with buckets of tears that we will ever get a handle on the larger vision for ourselves and our place in the world.
The source of this pain may be rooted in childhood, meaning you’re so accustomed to feeling this way, you may experience anger, fear, and guilt afresh at dredging up these truths.
Guilt is an insidious reaction that contributes to stress. Guilt cries out, “Never enough!” When you feel guilty or ashamed, or you blame yourself for not being or doing all you think you’re supposed to be, you can never find peace.
When the world is against you, when people are out to get you, when events are against you, you live in a state of siege. A siege mentality contributes to the state of Red Alert. Unresolved anger is a breeding ground for stress
Adults who take out their anger on children rarely are truthful about the source of that anger and hostility. Some shift the blame unfairly to their punching bag of choice, placing the burden of their actions, as well as the reasons for the actions, on the child.
Childhood abuse is multilayered. Neglect and physical and sexual abuse are always accompanied by devastating emotional damage. This childhood abuse can appear as aggressive actions of harm as well as passive failures to act.
Have you ever been so mad at someone (it doesn’t have to be a parent) that it’s all you could think about? Every time you were around that person, you kept thinking about how mad you were. You didn’t want to be around that person.
I’d like you to take the time to really think about, and evaluate, the significant relationships in your life. These may be with parents, spouses, siblings, children, mentors, or extended family.
When dealing with your emotional abuse, it may be easy to view things with tunnel vision. All you may see is the pain and damage of the abuse. You may not see some of the reasons behind it. Nothing can explain it away.
Are you getting on with your life with courage and enthusiasm, knowing that somehow you will fulfill your dreams, or have you all but thrown in the towel? Your answers reflect how you see yourself today but they also may suggest that you are still believing and living out too many of the lies your life script may have been feeding you.