Adults who take out their anger on children rarely are truthful about the source of that anger and hostility. Some shift the blame unfairly to their punching bag of choice, placing the burden of their actions, as well as the reasons for the actions, on the child.
Childhood abuse is multilayered. Neglect and physical and sexual abuse are always accompanied by devastating emotional damage. This childhood abuse can appear as aggressive actions of harm as well as passive failures to act.
Have you ever been so mad at someone (it doesn’t have to be a parent) that it’s all you could think about? Every time you were around that person, you kept thinking about how mad you were. You didn’t want to be around that person.
I’d like you to take the time to really think about, and evaluate, the significant relationships in your life. These may be with parents, spouses, siblings, children, mentors, or extended family.
Negative messages need to be turned up, but only so you can evaluate them; they are not meant to be cranked up for the rest of your life. The goal of turning up the volume of negative thoughts is so you an really hear what they’re saying and learn to put those messages in their proper context.
When dealing with your emotional abuse, it may be easy to view things with tunnel vision. All you may see is the pain and damage of the abuse. You may not see some of the reasons behind it. Nothing can explain it away.
Are you getting on with your life with courage and enthusiasm, knowing that somehow you will fulfill your dreams, or have you all but thrown in the towel? Your answers reflect how you see yourself today but they also may suggest that you are still believing and living out too many of the lies your life script may have been feeding you.
Anger is a natural emotion, but it is harmful when it becomes our focus or a continual part of our personality. Some anger is obvious, but there is also an inordinate amount of hidden anger lurking in the hearts, souls, and spirits of people.
Imagine being involved in a terrifying incident where you were physically harmed or threatened. Then imagine reliving that awful memory over and over again, each time as fresh and horrific as when it happened. This is the essence of PTSD.
