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Battles Men Face: Pornography’s True Cost [BOOK EXCERPT]

As men, we are wired to get a sexual charge out of a visual hit. And once that switch is flipped, it’s hard to turn it off through sheer willpower. The mind may be screaming “Don’t go there!” but the body is already running three steps ahead. In the headlong rush of sexual stimulation, it’s easy to forget the true cost of continually saying yes to pornography.

Pornography is Addictive

Pornography, as a behavior, can be highly addictive and progressive. By progressive, I mean that what gave you a thrill to see or experience the first time wanes through repetition. IN order to get the same sort of hit, you need to find something else, something new, something more.

Pornography Objectifies People

When you use another person to provide and gratify sexual stimulation, that person ceases to be a person, someone with a family. When you objectify a person in order to achieve your own sexual gratification, how can that do anything less than damage your own humanity — your own sense of compassion and connection to people as people?

Pornography Leads to Sexual Narcissism

Pornography is ultimately all about you; it’s sexual narcissism. As such, it sours real-life, offline relationships with people who have the right to tell you “no” or “not now” or “not that.” Real people have their own preferences and needs. Real people have difficulty competing with airbrushed, polished images, false sentiments, and scripted responses.

Pornography Corrupts the Mind

I’ve worked with men who truly desired freedom from their pornography addiction, and all of them were haunted, even after they’d stopped, by the images they’d allowed themselves to view and the behaviors they’ve allowed themselves to engage in. Their minds have been corrupted, and they often found themselves returning unwillingly to the very images they were trying so hard to exorcise.

Pornography Promotes Failure

If you say to yourself, “I’ll never” or “That won’t happen to me” or “I’m not like that” where pornography is concerned, you’re already in danger. Pornography is powerful because it attaches itself to the human sex drive, which is immensely powerful. If you make yourself exception to its power, you set yourself up for failure.

Pornography Undermines

The bonding of two people sexually is a divine gift and the glue of the relationship — the “one flesh” concept straight from the Bible (Gen. 2:24). When you use yourself (no matter what type of pornography, you’re still essentially using yourself) to satisfy your sexual desires, you make the other person in the relationship unnecessary.

Pornography Reflects a Dark Image

Pornography promises to make you feel like more of a man and then works to strip away the values of manhood:

– It wrests control of your choices and decisions from you, rendering you impotent against it
– It perverts how you view and appreciate women, corrupting your most intimate relationships
– It exchanges the deeper satisfaction of living an honorable life for cheap, temporary thrills
– It erodes your natural compassion and desire to protect women and instead exploits them for personal sexual satisfaction

If you are involved in pornography, it’s time to stop — right now.

The above is excerpted from Battles Men Face: Strategies to Win the War Within by Dr. Gregory Jantz.

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