Arriving at truth is a process, especially the more deeply you hurt. It isn’t something that can be rushed. It rarely comes neatly packaged in a single revelation.
It can be difficult to wait, especially when you’re in pain. You may want God to produce an instant miracle. You may want to be at the point of acceptance right now, immediately. But if the change were instantaneous, would it alter the substance of the miracle? Could it be that God’s miracle is changing you not merely on the surface but all the way down throughout your being?
Think about the miracle of a new life. It isn’t instantaneous, although God could certainly have made it that way. Instead, life happens over time, as each part is woven together inside the womb, as Psalm 139 so beautifully depicts.
Think about the miracle of aging. People aren’t born adults, they are born as babies who age and grow and mature. Again, it’s a process.
Think about the miracle of spiritual rebirth. It is a process of renewal that Paul talks about in Romans 12:2. God is the God of miracle, but he is also the God of process, and sometimes it’s impossible to separate the two. Perhaps it’s because you and I would fail to fully understand and appreciate certain miracles if they happened too fast. The process allows for reflection and time to think and appreciate.
I say all of this to help you consider that the very act of acceptance is one that will take time. It is unrealistic of you to expect God to zap you into acceptance in the blink of an eye. It is unfair to expect yourself to fast-forward through this process as you learn to accept the truth of your life. This is because some hurts are deeper and more impacting than others. Your focus should not be on the time it is taking but rather on the progress you are making. Don’t doubt the process.
Trust that God is at work within you (Phil. 2:13; Eph. 3:20), bringing you to a knowledge of the truth (1 Tim. 2:4).