We each tend to harbor one or more secret activities or behaviors that we just can’t seem to get enough of. This “never enough” activity becomes our absolute necessity, our reward, our coping mechanism. We need (or so we think) this activity to insulate ourselves from the world. Because this world can be a pretty tough place, we need a lot of insulation.
In moderation and proper context, this “never enough” activity or behavior can even be a good thing. Problems arise when we think that a little of this feels good, so a lot should feel even better. But, it doesn’t. This, however, doesn’t stop us from trying. Pretty soon, our “never enough” activity is the wheel in the cage, and we’ve become the rodent…running and running, but ultimately going nowhere.
Are you feeling concerned about the excess in your life? Let’s do some digging to examine if and how much of each behavior has become an excessity. This isn’t an easy or comfortable thing to do. It is, however, essential. By understanding what your “never enoughs” are, you can begin to uncover why they’re never enough.
This is not some sort of test, where you want to skew the results to make yourself look good. Be honest and open with yourself. Don’t necessarily write down the first thing that comes to your mind. Really think over your answers, and work through them until you know they reflect the truth. Each excessity covers up a need in your life. You can’t get to your real needs until you go through the process to uncover the truth.
The questions are generally yes/no questions. Try to avoid middle ground or an “I don’t know” response. If you can answer yes in any way, be specific about when and why that is.
Make this a prayerful exercise and pray prior to beginning and after you are done. You are engaging in an exercise of discernment regarding yourself and your life. Wisdom is a valuable tool. It is a perverse characteristic of human beings that we are notoriously obtuse when it comes to being wise about ourselves. Often, we simply need someone else to help us navigate the twists and turns of our own excuses, rationalizations, blind spots, and justifications.
To download the printable list of questions associated with this exercise, click HERE.
After completing this exercise, you have probably determined that the more times you say yes to these questions, the greater the potential for a category to be an excessity in your life. Even answering yes to one or two in any of these categories can indicate an open door for an excessity to come barging in at some point. Only you can determine how much of an issue each of these is to your life.
However, please don’t be overly alarmed if you recognize an issue with several of these categories. Excessities tend to run in packs. In counseling jargon, they are called “co-occuring.” Several may be connected together through a single root need. When you identify and address the root, you will be able to make progress on more than one category.
If you have been feeling controlled, overwhelmed, or concerned about the excessity in your life, The Center • A Place of HOPE is here to help. We will work to understand your true needs that have been masked by your excessities. Together, if we can unmask and meet the need, then the power of the excessity diminishes. Know there is hope, and your life can be restored.
A conversation with a specialist can help you understand if you truly will benefit from a treatment program. We can explain how it works, how your insurance can cover most of your treatment costs, and what your days will be like. Call today for a free evaluation. 888.771.5166.