This soundtrack you’ve been living with wasn’t recorded overnight. Instead, it’s a compilation of messages you’ve heard, impressions and impacts you’ve assimilated, and conclusions you’ve reached over the course of your life.
The source of this pain may be rooted in childhood, meaning you’re so accustomed to feeling this way, you may experience anger, fear, and guilt afresh at dredging up these truths.
In the city of Carmel, California, there is a famous cypress tree, weathered and gnarled and growing out of solid rock on the edge of the rugged coast. If that cypress could talk, it might complain about the coastal storms that have battered it for so many years, twisting its branches. It might curse those who maliciously …
Guilt is an insidious reaction that contributes to stress. Guilt cries out, “Never enough!” When you feel guilty or ashamed, or you blame yourself for not being or doing all you think you’re supposed to be, you can never find peace.
Adults who take out their anger on children rarely are truthful about the source of that anger and hostility. Some shift the blame unfairly to their punching bag of choice, placing the burden of their actions, as well as the reasons for the actions, on the child.
When you’ve got the chaos of worries running and ducking for cover, when you’ve got them crawling over the control of your life, it can be difficult to remember what the focus is.
I’d like you to take the time to really think about, and evaluate, the significant relationships in your life. These may be with parents, spouses, siblings, children, mentors, or extended family.
I believe a negative pattern of worry is established in childhood, based upon life circumstances, experiences, and perceptions. So, in order to find a way out, you need to be able to backtrack along your way in, to where worry started in the first place.
Are you getting on with your life with courage and enthusiasm, knowing that somehow you will fulfill your dreams, or have you all but thrown in the towel? Your answers reflect how you see yourself today but they also may suggest that you are still believing and living out too many of the lies your life script may have been feeding you.
Big fears are a complex connection of smaller components. Fears generally have a timeline – a when. They have a reason – a why. They have a pattern – a what. They have an outlet, a venue for expression – a how.
To learn to relax, you need to take back charge of your own life. That’s the only way you’ll be able to create a place in your life for relaxation. You need to be in charge in order to assign relaxation its proper value and priority in your life. You need to start saying no to fear and yes to relaxation.
Imagine being involved in a terrifying incident where you were physically harmed or threatened. Then imagine reliving that awful memory over and over again, each time as fresh and horrific as when it happened. This is the essence of PTSD.