Loss produces pain, so using the term “numbing out” is not a coincidence. So many of the survival strategies used by abused children are meant to do just that—provide a way to numb the pain. You may think you’re avoiding the pain, but you’re not. The pain is still there, affecting what you do and …
Recovery from childhood abuse requires healing on a variety of levels. One level that tends to be overlooked is the physical level.
It is so important for you to be able to identify the burdens from past relationships that may be slowing down your rate of recovery.
This soundtrack you’ve been living with wasn’t recorded overnight. Instead, it’s a compilation of messages you’ve heard, impressions and impacts you’ve assimilated, and conclusions you’ve reached over the course of your life.
For those of you with families that don’t work so well, you have some challenges ahead of you. The first is, you need to work toward rewriting the negative tapes that were played over and over.
Over the years, I’ve learned how important both verbal and nonverbal communication is in a relationship. Healthy communication, then, requires a new blueprint for those who have experienced childhood abuse.
Children who are abused may adapt by retaining a habit of constant vigilance—as though they’re constantly under a state of siege. Their worlds are populated not by security but by patterns of risk and attack.
When the world is against you, when people are out to get you, when events are against you, you live in a state of siege. A siege mentality contributes to the state of Red Alert. Unresolved anger is a breeding ground for stress
Adults who take out their anger on children rarely are truthful about the source of that anger and hostility. Some shift the blame unfairly to their punching bag of choice, placing the burden of their actions, as well as the reasons for the actions, on the child.
Any kind of abuse, emotional abuse included, is an attack on a person’s sense of self. It demeans and controls that person through words or actions, devaluing that person and ultimately elevating the abuser.
When dealing with your emotional abuse, it may be easy to view things with tunnel vision. All you may see is the pain and damage of the abuse. You may not see some of the reasons behind it. Nothing can explain it away.
Attachment theory highlights the importance of a strong, healthy attachment in childhood. This important attachment comes at the earliest stages of life to a parent or primary caregiver, usually a mother. This first, fundamental attachment, or relationship, sets the stage for all relationships going forward.