It is said that no one is an island, yet through your behaviors you’ve separated yourself from other people. To control your surroundings, you couldn’t afford to include other people in your life — because people are notoriously unpredictably and often uncontrollable. Over time, you have walled yourself in. Now it’s time to start dismantling your wall, brick by brick.
One of the first bricks you need to remove is the one that hides the truth about your relationship with food from those who truly love you. They need to see what this has been doing to you. They need to see what this is doing to your physically, emotionally, and spiritually. They probably already have a pretty good idea of what’s been happening between you relationally, but may not realize how much your eating disorder or your disordered eating is at the core of that impact. It’s time to let them in. You need to allow them the opportunity to help you.
If you are a perfectionist, that attitude has fostered a solitary state of mind within you. Perfectionism demands private effort and rewards accomplishments privately. Part of you may not want to include others in your recovery to avoid being indebted to them in any way: It’s my challenge, so the victory should be mine. This attitude only strengthens your perfectionism and false pride — and neither one will assist your recovery.
Those who are deeply concerned about you may want to give you that love and trust as desperately as you need to receive it. Take the chance. Open up to someone, but be wise about the choice. Choose someone who loves you, and then allow that person to show you how much. Both of you will benefit.
The time to remain trapped in your prison of food is over. Freedom awaits you. And included in that freedom is the reality of unpredictability. You have already decided that you want the future to look different than it does today. You have already acknowledged that hope is more important than control.
Life is worth a chance. Love is worth the risk. God is sufficient. Believe is your recovery. Believe in today. Believe that God loves you. Believe that your life makes a difference. Believe there is light at the end of the tunnel. Believe you are the light for someone else who needs hope. Believe that the best is yet to be. Believe in yourself.
Authored by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center • A Place of HOPE and author of 35 books. Pioneering whole-person care nearly 30 years ago, Dr. Jantz has dedicated his life’s work to creating possibilities for others, and helping people change their lives for good. The Center • A Place of HOPE, located on the Puget Sound in Edmonds, Washington, creates individualized programs to treat behavioral and mental health issues, including eating disorders, addiction, depression, anxiety and others.