Wisdom’s Plan of Action

Posted on September 24, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

Solomon didn’t write a book full of flowery platitudes and wouldn’t-it-be-nice-if statements. Instead, it is a very practical book, full of situations and circumstances with present-day, right-now applications. One of those applications is found in Proverbs 2:1-11, where Solomon provides a series of action steps for the reader to take to begin to incorporate wisdom into is or her life. I believe these steps are applicable to gaining wisdom and overcoming an excessity:

My son, if you accept my words

and store up my commands within you,

turning your ear to wisdom

and applying your heart to understanding,

and if you call out for insight

and cry aloud for understanding,

and if you look for it as for silver

and search for it as for hidden treasure,

then you will understand the fear of the LORD

and find the knowledge of God.

For the Lord gives wisdom,

and from his mouth comes knowledge and

understanding.

He holds victory in store for the upright,

he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,

for he guards the course of the just

and protects the way of his faithful ones.

Then you will understand what is right and just

and fair — every good path.

For wisdom will enter your heart,

and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.

Discretion will protect you,

and understanding will guard you.

THE STEPS

Step 1: Accept the truth and store up God’s word.

Step 2: Be careful what you listen to and apply.

Step 3: Ask for help.

Step 4: Keep your eyes open and believe.

Step 5: Consider the source.

Step 6: Trust God to protect you.

Step 7: Know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Step 8: Claim the prize.

There is a prize that awaits this search for wisdom. The prize is wisdom itself, along with knowledge, discretion, and understanding. God is not in the carrot-dangling business. There is a finish line to wisdom He means for you to cross, even if He has to carry over it Himself.

Source: Chapter 11, “How God Provides Wisdom” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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What Patience Is, and What It’s Not

Posted on September 14, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

The world does not see patience as a position of strength but rather as a position of weakness, of wanting, of lack. Powerful people don’t have to wait; powerless people do. This is a fundamental misunderstanding of patience. Patience allows you to take back control over a capricious and unstable world and plant that control firmly within yourself.

Patience does not give you the power over circumstances; patience allows you to control yourself in the midst of circumstances.

Because of the misconceptions about patience I’ve run into over the years as I’ve helped people develop the capacity for patience in their lives, I’d like to go over some of the realities and truths of patience.

Patience is not apathy. Apathy is a lack of interest or concern. Being patient does not mean disengaging or disconnecting from your feelings or emotions. Being patient means accepting both how you feel about a given situation and what you can realistically do about it.

Patience is not surrender. A decision to exercise patience is not the equivalent of waving the white flag. When you surrender, you place yourself under the control of the situati0n and remove yourself from the equation. Patience is not surrendering your power to the circumstance; patience is redeploying that power back to you.

Patience is not static. Thre is a misconception that patience, or the act of waiting, is just sitting there, doing nothing. In this, patience is a little like sleep. When we’re sleeping, it can appear that we’re doing nothing — we’re just sleeping. Sleep, however, is a highly dynamic process where the body is actively engaged in repairing itself. The mind is filtering and collating and processing the events of the day. In the same way patience is an active time of remembering, reexamining, and recommitting to those things you know are true. Patience, like sleep, is the act of preparing for the new day to come.

Patience is not impossible. One of the biggest lies of your excessity is that you must give in to it right now. This lie says you do not have the capacity to be patient and to wait — and it would be foolish to even try.

Patience is optimistic expectation. The engine of patience is hope. Romans 5:3-4 is a wonderful passage that shows the connection between patience and hope: “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

Patience is based on the end, not the beginning. Ecclesiastes 7:8 says, “The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.” You won’t know that the end of the matter is better than the beginning if you’re not patient enough to get there.

Patience is based on the long view. The view of patience is not a few steps in front of us. The view of patience is out over the horizon, around the bend, through the hills and valleys of life. Patience is not thwarted by the immediate; it is sustained by the eventual. When you are assured of the eventual, you can patiently endure the immediate.

Patience is a wise response to life. This life is offensive in so many ways. People can be mean, cruel, and hurtful. Circumstances can be sudden, unpredictable, and damaging. We may feel as if we live under siege from something or someone most of the time. But patience provides a calm counterbalance to the frenzy of such a threat level. Proverbs 19:11 says, “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.”

Patience is a calm response to life. Patience is seen as a way to diffuse tension and calm an emotional storm. Proverbs 14:29 says, “A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.” And as Proverbs 15:18 says, “A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.” Excessities are often quick to strike within tense situations. They promise relief and reward in the midst of such emotional storms. Patience has a way of de-escalating the situation and reducing the pull of escape into an excessity.

Source: Chapter 8, “God Provides Patience” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc

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In Money We Trust? What the Bible Says About Wealth

Posted on August 28, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

“In God We Trust” has been engraved on our coins since 1864. Somewhere in the intervening years, however, it seems we’ve shifted from trust in God to trust in the coin itself. This isn’t a recent phenomenon; it’s been happening for a long time.

King Solomon, in his book of wisdom known as Proverbs, puts it this way:

“The wealth of the rich is their fortified city; they imagine it an unscalable wall” (Prov. 18:11).

There are many people today for whom wealth is their unscalable wall. They truly believe if they acquire enough of it, build up a high enough wall of it, the cares and concerns of the world will not be able to climb over. The problem, of course, lies in the fact that cares and concerns have very creative ways of mounting siege ramps against the walls of wealth and breach even the highest parapets. Insecurities also find ways to tunnel under the strongest edifices.

Money, quite simply, is not a secure thing to put your trust in. Again, from Proverbs:

“Do not wear yourself out to get riches, and have the wisdom to show restraint. Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky like an eagle” (23:4-5).

Money is a fluid, dynamic entity, and its worth is based upon factors out of the control of most people. A person’s wealth can be made and lost within a single year.

How many people have won millions of dollars on a lottery one year, only to wind up losing it all within a short span of time? How many people put their trust in the wealth they committed to Bernie Madoff, only to lose every cent in his billion-dollar Ponzi scheme? Money is not an appropriate place to look for security.

Money can be made and even more money made … and still not enough. This is especially true if money and acquiring money have become an excessity.

Revisit the Solomon quote in Ecclesiastes:

“Whoever loves money, never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless” (Eccl. 5:10).

Solomon was the wealthiest person of his day, above all the other kings on earth. He was incredibly wealthy and incredibly wise. He knew that wealth and acquiring wealth can become a black-hole, Gotta Have It! excessity. Perceiving money as security can create an obsession with money and the things money can buy. And because money can, quite frankly, buy a great deal, there is a tendency to assign it more power than it’s due; there is a tendency to trust it more than is wise.

Money is not permanent because it can be lost in a blink of an eye (or in the crash of the stock market, or in the devaluation of currency, or through theft or malfeasance or cooked books). It is not permanent in the here and now, and it’s absolutely irrelevant in the hereafter. Money can get you some tract when you’re alive, but it is useless to you when you’re dead:

“Do not be overawed when a man grows rich, when the splendor of his house increases; for he will take nothing with him when he dies, his splendor will not descend with him” (Ps. 49:16-17).

In cruder, present-day language: The hearse doesn’t come with a trailer.

Money promises to provide security, but it often creates the opposite:

“A man’s riches may ransom his life, but a poor man hears no threat” (Prov. 13:8).

The more stock you set in the things you have, including money and things money can buy, the greater the threat of losing it all. Those who have much have much to lose. Those with little, sleep under a lesser threat of loss and can feel more secure.

Money can be a source of security, but it can also be a source of heartburn:

“The sleep of a laborer is sweet, whether he eats little or much, but the abundance of a rich man permits him no sleep” (Eccl. 5:12).

If you put all your security eggs in the money basket, then you must perpetually worry about eggs breaking and losing both.

Source: Chapter 5, “Our Need for Security” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc

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Resolving Anger, The Proverbs Series: Two to Tango (Prov 26:21)

Posted on January 7, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

Proverbs 26:21 — “As coal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.”

It is helpful to know you are not the only person in the world. Others are also hurt and carry the scars of their pain. In other words, there is an overabundance of fuel in this world to fan the flames of anger within relationships.

An old saying is that it takes two to tango. If you insist on being a quarrelsome person, you will find a willing partner; you are sure to find plenty of opportunity to kindle strife.

If you have developed the strategy of being combative with others, I urge you to reconsider how effective this is in meeting your needs and filling the desires of your heart. This attitude forces a wedge between you and others. It destroys the very relationships you seek to create, maintain, and strengthen. It sours your mind and warps your viewpoint. It turns the world into a battleground, an adversarial exercise that must be waged day after day. It leaves you no room for peace. When, in your anger, people become your enemy, all your relationships will remain tainted and unresolved.

SOURCE: Chapter 7: “Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?” in Every Woman’s Guide to Managing YourAnger by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Resolving Anger, The Proverbs Series: Avoiding Gossip (Prov. 26:20)

Posted on January 6, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

Proverbs 26:20 — “Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.”

Become aware of what sort of fuel incites your anger. Learn to be discerning. Refrain from indignation and umbrage at unsubstantiated rumors and gossip. Not only is this sort of behavior destructive, it often diverts you from your own work of reflection and recovery.

Gossip is called a “choice morsel” in Proverbs 18:8 and 26:22. Don’t let it tempt you and veer you away from doing your own work.

Tomorrow: Proverbs 26:21 (last in the series)

SOURCE: Chapter 7: “Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?” in Every Woman’s Guide to Managing Your Anger by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Resolving Anger, The Proverbs Series: The Battle Belongs to the Lord (Prov. 26:17)

Posted on January 5, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

Proverbs 26:17 — “Like one who seizes a dog by the ears is a passer-by who meddles in a quarrel not his own.”

Every one of you has been damaged by a sin in your life — your own sin and the sins perpetrated against you. You are a casualty of a war raging. This war takes place in your life but also in realms beyond your comprehension.

Ephesians 6:12 puts it this way: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

There have been times, listening to stories of horrific abuse and trauma, I have a clearer picture of what this verse speaks to. What I want you to take from this is to be careful about entering into quarrels; you may not be aware of the forces arrayed against you. If you have wandered into a battle of this kind, remember that the battle belongs to the Lord. He has and always will fight for you.

Tomorrow: Proverbs 26:20

SOURCE: Chapter 7: “Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?” in Every Woman’s Guide to Managing Your Anger by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Resolving Anger, The Proverbs Series: Driving Out the Mocker (Prvbs 22:10)

Posted on January 4, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

Proverbs 22:10 — “Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended.”

Did you know that you have a “mocker” inside your head? This is that negative voice you’ve read about that puts you down and devalues you. This voice is fueled by all the false, destructive, and unkind things said against you and things done to you. When this voice says you are not lovable, it mocks the truth of God’s love for you.

For you to get over your anger and begin to have an authentic, healthy relationship with yourself, you must drive this mocker out. When you do, out goes strife, internal quarrels, and self-inflicted insults. You declare peace with yourself and gain the clarity you need to resolve other relationships in your life.

Tomorrow: Proverbs 26:17

SOURCE: Chapter 7: “Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?” in Every Woman’s Guide to Managing Your Anger by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Resolving Anger, The Proverbs Series: Avoiding Strife (Proverbs 20:3)

Posted on December 31, 2009 by Dr. Jantz

Proverbs 20:3 — It is to a man’s honor to avoid strive, but every fool is quick to quarrel.

This is not the “doormat” proverb. It does not say that you should go about your life keeping your mouth shut in order to avoid problems. Rather, this verse cautions you to avoid strife.

Strife is defined as a “bitter sometimes violent conflict or dissention” and as as an “exertion or contention for superiority.” Strife is quarrel fueled by anger and hostility. As such, it will not produce the desired results of resolution. Instead, it fans the flames of conflict. It is to your credit to avoid it and find another way to get your needs met.

Monday: Proverbs 22:10

SOURCE: Chapter 7: “Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?” in Every Woman’s Guide to Managing Your Anger by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Resolving Anger, The Proverbs Series: Protection or Destruction? (Proverbs 17:19)

Posted on December 30, 2009 by Dr. Jantz

Proverbs 17:19 — “He who loves a quarrel loves sin; he who builds a high gate invites destruction.”

There are women I know, probably women you know, who love a good argument. It seems they like nothing better than to fight about nearly everything. If you are one of these women, you know deep down how much satisfaction you get out of unleashing your temper.

I want you to hear something: even if the source of your anger comes from sin committed against you, that does not absolve you from responsibility in how you conduct yourself and express your anger. If that were the case, then an abuser who was abused would be free from guilt. If that were true, no one could be held responsible for their own wrongful actions because everyone has been wronged by someone.

In order to heal and get over your anger, you need to start seeing it in its proper context — as a high gate you’ve built for protection. As this verse cautions, though a high gate does provide protection, it also invites destruction. If you doubt that, just think about the effect your anger has on those you love.

Ask yourself — is your anger protecting or destroying your family relationships?

Tomorrow: Proverbs 20:3

SOURCE: Chapter 7: “Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?” in Every Woman’s Guide to Managing Your Anger by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Resolving Anger, The Proverbs Series: Fighting Fairly (Proverbs 17:14)

Posted on December 29, 2009 by Dr. Jantz

Proverbs 17:14 — “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.”

Nowhere is this truer, I think, than in working with couples. If both people have unresolved relationships, starting a quarrel between them unleashes a torrent of hidden issues.

At times, my office has been flooded with accusations, recriminations, dire pronouncements, and tearful arguments. So many that it is difficult for the strength of the relationship to contain them all. That is why one of the skills I teach couples is how to “fight” fairly, passionately but also compassionately, truthfully but also gracefully. A knock-down-drag-out argument is simply not the most effective format for conflict resolution; instead it is a recipe for conflict conflagration.

Tomorrow: Proverbs 17:19

SOURCE: Chapter 7: “Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?” in Every Woman’s Guide to Managing Your Anger by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Category Archives: Proverbs

Wisdom’s Plan of Action

What Patience Is, and What It’s Not

In Money We Trust? What the Bible Says About Wealth

Resolving Anger, The Proverbs Series: Two to Tango (Prov 26:21)

Resolving Anger, The Proverbs Series: Avoiding Gossip (Prov. 26:20)

Resolving Anger, The Proverbs Series: The Battle Belongs to the Lord (Prov. 26:17)

Resolving Anger, The Proverbs Series: Driving Out the Mocker (Prvbs 22:10)

Resolving Anger, The Proverbs Series: Avoiding Strife (Proverbs 20:3)

Resolving Anger, The Proverbs Series: Protection or Destruction? (Proverbs 17:19)

Resolving Anger, The Proverbs Series: Fighting Fairly (Proverbs 17:14)

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Financing

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