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How Do You Hear God?

Friday, May 6th, 2011

On May 15, EatingDisorderHope.com is giving away 10 copies of my book Happy for the Rest of Your Life. (To enter the drawing, click here.)  For a preview of what to expect, here’s an excerpt from Chapter 9….

Sometimes it takes work and effort on my part to put myself in a position where I can hear God. Some people call this effort “spiritual disciplines.” Some of the ways you can look for God to speak to you are through:

  1. Prayer
  2. Meditation
  3. Reading
  4. Journaling
  5. Studying
  6. Seeking counsel
  7. Listening

If you’re already doing some of these, congratulations! Rededicate yourself to the task. If one or more of them have become stale or rote, switch it up:

  • Choose a different place or time to pray or meditate.
  • Try using a journal to record your prayers or meditations.
  • Read a different translation of the Bible. Try one that you’ve never considered before.
  • Switch it up. Be more structured with your study if you haven’t been studying the Bible much, or, if you’ve been very diligent, change your study topics for the next six months; be more spontaneous. Start opening up the Bible at random, and study from there.
  • Find a wise, godly person who you can be open and transparent with, seeking accountability and a sounding board for spiritual matters.
  • Spend some time each day just calming your mind, opening it up, and listening to what God might want to say that day. Whenever possible, go outside and walk in order to get out of your environment and into His.
  • Pay attention to what God is saying to you. Write it down as soon as you hear it. Use your journal or keep a small spiral notebook or pocketbook with you or available so you can make sure not to lose what you hear. Make sure to put it by your bedside, as God often has used the time of either going to sleep or upon waking to capture your undivided attention.

This is by no means the definitive list of ways you can hear God. What others would you add to the list?

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Is There an Emotional Abuser in YOUR Life?

Friday, February 18th, 2011

On March 15th EatingDisorderHope.com is giving away 10 copies of my book Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse. (To enter the drawing, click here.)  For a preview of what to expect, here’s an excerpt from chapter 4, “Emotional Abuse Through Words”….

Conventional wisdom may teach that “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me,” but we know better. We know that words have the power to hurt or help, wound or heal. God, who spoke the first word, reveals this clearly through Scripture, where words are compared to everything from sharp swords to smooth oil, from being harsh to being sweet as honey.

As we think about the power words have had in our own lives, let’s first take a look at God’s truth about the power of words.

Psalm 55:21 speaks of how people can say one thing with their mouths but mean something completely different in their hearts: “His speech was smoother than butter, but his heart was war; his words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords” (NASB). This is so true when pronouncements of comfort and love are in word only and are followed by deeds that testify to anything but.

In Psalm 57:4 King David articulates the plight of those who are trapped under the influence of verbal abuse when he says, “I am in the midst of lions; I live among ravenous beasts – men whose teeth are spears and arrows, whose tongues are sharp swords.” This is especially haunting to me, as I have heard these thoughts and fears expressed by verbally abused children. These children and adult children truly feel devoured in spirit by the verbal abuse suffered – sadly, too often by those given to them by God with the charge to love and protect them.

Psalm 64:2-3 reveals the power of words and the true nature behind the motivation to harm with words: “Hide me from the conspiracy of the wicked, from the noisy crowd of evildoers. They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their words like deadly arrows.”

In the hands of the wicked, words become the weapons they use to launch harm against another.

Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Verbal emotional abuse is the harsh use of the words that produces anger. It is this built-up , unresolved anger that festers inside a person, damaging self-esteem and poising relationships.

Proverbs 16:24 says, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” When honest affection and love are expressed through words, they bathe the soul in comfort. This comfort is desperately needed in this world and in all our relationships – and it is what emotional abuse utterly destroys.

While each person is different, there are several distinct methods the emotional abuser can use to dispense his or her abuse. It may be a single form or a combination of forms; however, most are recognizable:

  • The overbearing opinion – whose intensity of opinion overshadows everyone else
  • The person who is always right – who turns the words “I told you so” into a verbal indictment
  • The judge and the jury – who reserves the right to pronounce judgment on all actions on any given day in any given mood
  • The put-down artist - who uses words to crush the spirits of others
  • The stand-up comic – who laughs at you, not with you, and encourages others to do the same
  • The great guilt-giver - who burdens others with false guilt for all of his or her own problems
  • The preacher - who has a long-winded sermon, full of fire and brimstone, for ever occasion
  • The historian - who has a photographic memory for the lapses of others but a blind eye to his or her own shortcomings
  • The silent treatment abuser – who transmits volumes of negative thoughts without saying a word

The words and phrases we use are very important, as is the way they are delivered. Yet often we are the most careless with this vital form of communication. Now take some time to consider the type of communication you have with other people in your life:

1. As you think over your life, how have words been used as weapons against you?

2. Have you experienced a time when the words of another were “softer than oil” but ended up wounding you deeply, as with a sword?

3. In reading over the different types of verbal abusers, did one or more stand out to you? If so, why?

4. Were you able to identify yourself in any of these examples?

5. Do you have patterns of speech you’d like to change?

6. Identify the main types of verbal abusers you have dealt with.

7. What effect did their words have on you?

8. How do you feel about them today?

9. What lies have you believed because of their abuse? Be specific.

It’s time to begin to reclaim the truth and put the lies to rest. As you think about the lies you have believed, think about the truth. What is the truth about you?

Most of the time, words roll off our tongues without our thinking much about them. It’s time to consider our words carefully – what we say and how we say it. Perhaps the Golden Rule has no greater application than in the realm of communication. Internalize this statement: “I will strive to speak to other people the way I wish to be spoken to – with kindness, respect, and consideration.”

SOURCE: Chapter 4, “Emotional Abuse Through Words,” in Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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Will You Take the Road Less Traveled By?

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

In this world of difficulty and doubt, of struggles and hardships, of compromises and second choices, of injustice and affliction, each person comes to a crossroads in life. There are two roads with signposts on each that say, “Way to Happiness.” On the one hand is the road championed by the world, which promises much and delivers little. This road is taken by a vast array of people who are tricked into believing the billboards along the way. Those inducements, even your own internal dialogue, for taking this road can be compelling because of all their glitzy promises. Instead of happiness, though, this road can lead to depression, anxiety, and addiction.

There is another choice, another road. However, this road can appear less attractive when compared with the first. Because of this, it is a road less traveled. This is the road of faith, which uses a cross for a talisman. It does not say, “Take this road to avoid your pain.” It says, “Take this road because you must give it up. The one appears all about pleasure. The other appears all about sacrifice. In the heat of the moment, it can be hard to make the right choice.

American poet Robert Frost, in one of his most popular works, “The Road Not Taken,” illustrates the importance of the choices made in life in the last stanza of the poem:

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hences:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

In other words, you’ve come to a fork in the road — two paths promising to lead you to your desired destination. However, the one you choose may not be the most popular, but it may lead you to true happiness.

I guess what I want to leave you with is an exhortation to take the road less traveled because it will make all the difference. The world’s road eventually leads to a literal dead end. God’s road leads to eternity. Because it can be so difficult to choose the road less traveled, here are just a few things to remember as you stand at the crossroads each day:

  • Happiness is a response to life that comes from the inside of a person, not from outside circumstances.
  • Happiness is a gift from God, based upon His goodness and mercy apart from circumstances.
  • Depression isn’t something you live with; it’s something you get help for.
  • Worry and anxiety are a learned response to life that can be acknowledged, understood, and overcome.
  • Addictions both mask and amplify pain; they never heal it.
  • What you tell yourself becomes who you are, so be careful what you say.
  • Relationships are meant to support you, not drag you down.
  • Taking care of your body helps you take care of your heart, soul, and mind — all are used to love God.
  • Stop trying to control your own life, and start trusting God to get you where you need to go.

As you embrace this new way of thinking, living, and responding, may you, in the words of Paul, come “to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge — that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:18-19). May this overpower the strongholds of depression, anxiety, and addictions in your life. May this be a fountain of unending happiness, the reason for your optimism, the source of your hope, and the reservoir of your joy.

Father, there is nothing that You cannot do. I ask You to transform and renew each person who reads this, through the power of Your Spirit. Give each one strength to persevere and courage to continue each day. Help each one to grow and mature in their trust in You. Reveal in each life, in a unique and personal way, the happiness that is the desire of their hearts. Fill them up to the brim with this happiness, and allow them to overflow in joy to those around them. May each become a source of happiness and blessing in this world until He comes.

SOURCE: Afterword, “The Role of Joy in Being Happy,” in Happy for the Rest of Your Life by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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The Role of Joy in Being Happy

Wednesday, January 5th, 2011

A truly joyful, optimistic, positive person is wonderful to be around. Because they act in ways that are so contrary to how people usually handle situations, they are immediately noticeable. Others are aware that these people are different. In this way, God is glorified through your ability to exhibit joy in difficult circumstances. Your joy becomes a living testimony to others. You radiate out.

Usually when negative or pessimistic people suffer, they become incredibly inward focused. Their world shrinks and collapses in on itself, coalescing into a self-absorbed core. This core can become so dense with negativism and pain that other people get sucked in and depleted. Interacting with a pessimistic person who tends to always suffer from something can suck the joy right out of you if you’re not careful. Being around them makes you feel drained.

I have had the privilege to be around joyful, optimistic people who were undergoing hardship of incredible proportions. I have gone to visit them, fully intending to try, in some small way, to offer comfort and instead found myself receiving much more comfort. Here they are, in dire physical or circumstantial straights, and they end up doing more for me and my attitude than I ever did for them. Their complete reliance on God and the Holy Spirit to get them through the situation is crystal clear. I go to give them comfort, and they wind up giving me hope.

Their attitude is summed up for me in a passage from one of the minor prophets, Habakkuk. It’s a small book, only three chapters. Like Jeremiah, it was written at the time of the Babylonian invasion of Jerusalem. Like Job, it contains a series of conversations with God. Habakkuk doesn’t understand why God is working the way He is (using the Babylonians to punish Judah and Jerusalem), seeming to allow evil to oppress His people. In the end, Habakkuk comes to understand that God really does have the final say and will make sure justice prevails, even though it will not come about in Habakkuk’s lifetime.

At the end of the book, Habakkuk’s final words hauntingly echo in my heart as they speak to me of today’s hope anchored in tomorrow, of joy expressed defiant of circumstance, of optimism tightly grasped in trust:

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights. ~Habakkuk 3:17-19

I don’t know what you personally are going through or what might have prompted you to pick up this book. If it was a time of prolonged sadness or tragedy, please know my heart goes out to you. And if it were only my heart I could give, frankly, it wouldn’t be enough. What I can offer you is to embrace the attitude of Habakkuk. Pray and ask God to empower you through His Spirit to experience joy within your situation. For God, nothing is impossible. The reality of this world is set; hardships and suffering are a given. God will not always remove the impossible situation from you, but He is always able to fill your heart with joy.

One way God can fill your heart with joy is through prayer, as you’ve read.

Being in constant communication with God, to receive His Spirit and perspective on life and what you’re going through, is integral to a life of joy. Another way to experience joy is through worship. This doesn’t necessarily mean only in a religious building or at a religious event. God is worshiped when you offer your life up to Him on a daily basis through the routine events of life. Worship focuses your attention on God and instills reverence and awe. In worship, you acknowledge God for who He is, in all of His attributes. This is the same God who loves you and has promised to care for you. When the world and its problems seem far too large for you to handle, prayer and worship to God can bring it back down to its proper size.

When the world and its negativity threaten to suck the joy right out of you, drawing near to God can cause it to flood back into your life. When the road of life gets bumpy, joy acts like spiritual shock absorbers and allows you to still enjoy the ride.

SOURCE: Chapter 12, “The Role of Joy in Being Happy,” in Happy for the Rest of Your Life by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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The Role of Hope In Being Happy

Wednesday, December 29th, 2010

Hope isn’t really a happy emotion. Hope is not necessarily a giddy, bubbly, effervescent, here-and-now emotion. It’s something much more complex, a response firmly based in the certainty of an unseen future. The dictionary defines hope as expecting with confidence. The verb expecting clearly indicates the outcome is in the future. Because the outcome lies in the future, it is not visible in the present.

Romans 8:24 says, “But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?” Hope is expecting with confidence something you can’t see yet. It’s a bit like the explanation of faith in Hebrews 11:1: “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

Hope, then, is not a reaction based upon an experienced present but a response based upon an expected future. In this way, hope is like delayed gratification. You may not be experiencing in the present what you want, but you respond to those circumstances based upon what you expect to come to pass in the future. You expect to experience gratification, understanding it’s not going to come instantly but rather at some point in the future. You are willing to wait because you expect with confidence that waiting will prove beneficial. In the same way, when things aren’t going the way you want, you have to be willing to hope.

Hope, like delayed gratification, is a mature response to life. Listen to the progression, the maturation process:

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. ~Romans 5:3-5

In some ways, hope has its most important work as a response to problems and struggles. Hope is the watchword of Old Testament people like Job and Jeremiah, and of David. Each of them experienced hope in the most profound way during times of great distress and personal turmoil.

It is hope, perhaps, most of all, that anchors you deep into the positive and allows you to weather times of drought and storm.

The Book of Job is one of unremitting suffering. God allows Satan to remove from Job all of the things in this life you would normally ascribe to being happy: wealth, possessions, and family. In the span of a single day, all of that is wiped out. What is Job’s response to this utter destruction of his livelihood and his children?

According to Job 1:20-21, he worshiped and praised God, saying, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” This is an amazing, mature response to calamity!

The Book of Jeremiah is one of calamity and destruction. It outlines the destruction of Judah by the Babylonians. Jeremiah prophesied about this destruction. He repeatedly tries to alert the people and various kings to the coming catastrophe, but to no avail. It is a book filled with despair and destruction. Yet, it is also a book of hope and future, as Jeremiah 29:11 (my theme verse) says: ” ‘For I now the plans I have for you,’ declaresthe Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ ” Even in the midst of destruction, God was already promising His future restoration to Jeremiah.

Jeremiah goes on to write the Book of Lamentations, a poetic recitation of the destruction of Jerusalem. Do you remember the verses I mentioned earlier from Lamentations? “I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail” (Lamentations 3:20-22). Jeremiah could look around him, in the face of a vast array of destruction, and have hope. so, what was Jeremiah hoping for?

David was annointed by God to be the king of Israel. When you think of a king, you probably think of palaces and power, feasting and fealty. That’s not exactly what David experienced. When God chose David to be king, there was already a king in Israel named Saul. Saul, needless to say, wasn’t thrilled about the change in leadership. His response? He set out to hunt David down and kill him. This failed, of course, and David was eventually declared king over Israel. It lasted a little while; long enough for his own sons to grow and rise up against him.

David spent a great deal of his time hiding out, running from enemies, and dodging assassination attempts. Being persecuted in this way could have caused David to be a very pessimistic person. Yet, David writes beautifully of his hope in the psalms: May my accusers perish in shame; may those who want to harm me be covered with scorn and diswgrace. But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more” (Psalm 71:13-14).

David, Jeremiah, and Job all chose to hope for God to provide a positive future.

Hope is not a rejection of your present circumstance. On the contrary, it is an acceptance of it. For example, this is what is said of Abraham, concerning God’s promise that he would have a child in his old age: “Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, ‘So shall your offspring be.’ Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his  body was as good as dead — since he was about a hundred years old — and that Sarah’s womb was also dead” (Romans 4:18-19).

I really like that verse.

Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed. Without weakening his faith, he faced the rality of his situation and still chose hope. Again, hope is not a rejection of your present circumstances. Paradoxically, as God often works, hope is strengthened in its quality by your present, hopeless circumstances. After all, if the outcome was something you could see or already had, it wouldn’t be hope, would it?

SOURCE: Chapter 11, “The Role of Hope in Being Happy,” in Happy for the Rest of Your Life by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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Merry Christmas In the Name of God We Trust

Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010

Inherent in our celebration of the birth of Christ is our celebration of the Holy Father. God goes by many names, all of which imply the same – unconditional love, of course, but also our unwavering trust.

Webster’s Dictionary defines trust in the following ways: “1 a: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something; b: one in which confidence is placed. In order to obey what God tells you to do, you need to be able to place your confidence in Him. That confidence is based upon His character, ability, strength, and truth.

God’s character is clearly shown through the names He gives Himself. These are descriptors of His character. Regent University has a wonderful website at www.bible.org that outlines the names of God. They are:

  • Elohim – This is the plural version of the term El, which means “strong one,” and refers to majesty. It is plural, signifying the truine nature of God.
  • El Shaddai – “God Almighty.” God is almighty, or as Luke 1:37 says, “Nothing is impossible with God.”
  • El Elyon – “The Most High God,” stressing God’s strength, sovereignty, and supremacy.
  • El Olam – “The everlasting God.” God does not change, nor does He wear out.
  • Yahweh Jireh – “The Lord will provide.” Note it doesn’t say might or could or may provide; it says will.
  • Yahweh Nissi – “The Lord is my banner.” This signifies God as leading the charge in battle and providing victory.
  • Yahweh Shalom – “The Lord is peace.” This peace is global and personal (Isaiah 26:12).
  • Yahweb Sabbaoth – “The Lord of hosts.” God is the commander of the heavenly armies; He has spiritual resources at His command.
  • Yahweb Maccadeshcem – “The Lord your sanctifier.” God has sanctified you; He has set you apart for His purposes.
  • Yahweb Ro’i – “The Lord my shepherd.” (See Psalm 23, one of the most beautiful poems ever written.)
  • Yahweh Tsidkenu – “The Lord our righteousness.” God provides what you and I are unable to provide on our own.
  • Yahweb Shammah – “The Lord is there,” signifying God’s personal presence. HE is not a way-out-there, disconnected deity; He is there with you.
  • Yahweb Elohim Israel – “The Lord, the God of Israel.” You are included as a spiritual descendent of Israel.
  • Adonai – “Master, authority, provider.” This is also in the plural form, signifying God’s truine friendship.
  • Thoes – “God.” This is a Greek word, identifying God as the one true God, as unique, as transcendent, as Savior.
  • Kurios – “Lord.” Another Greek word, signifying authority and supremacy.
  • Despotes – “Master,” with the connotation of ownership. First Corinthians 6:20 and 7:23 remind you that you were bought with a price and are not your own.
  • Father – I thought it was interesting that this form of the word is found only 15 times in the Old Testament but 245 times in the New Testament. Whatever else and whoever else God is, He is your heavenly Father.

Put all of these together, then, and this is who you are being called to place your confidence, your trust, in. What better place can you think of in which to place your trust?

According to the dictionary definition of trust given earlier, God has the character, ability, strength, and truth to be worthy of your trust. There is, however, a secondary definition I’d like to explore. It is “dependence on something future or contingent.”

Hebrews 12:2 says, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”  ”For the joy set before him” points to this shading of definition for the word trust. Jesus endured because He was absolutely sure of and dependent upon something in the future, that joy. Jesus trusted God for what had not yet occurred. This future joy tomorrow helped Jesus endure today.

In the same way, you can trust God not only for what He can do for you today but also for what He will do for you tomorrow and into eternity. If all of this sounds too good to be true, too much like an evangelical infomercial, let me just say a couple of things.

First, I agree, it does sound too good to be true. However, God is truth, so while it is entirely too good for the likes of me (and you, if I may be so bold), it is true. You can count on it; you can trust in God.

Secondly, it becomes easier to understand and accept if you’ll concentrate on the last word of the names of God, one of the two I added.

Concentrate on God as love. God is trustworthy with your life and future and happiness because He loves you. He has demonstrated that love to you in the most graphic way possible – by sacrificing His one and only Son in your place so you can be made righteous and able to enter into intimate fellowship with this amazing, all-powerful, almighty, loving Father.

Remember, it’s not about you; it’s about God. You can trust Him because He has put in motion this eon-spanning, intricate, creative plan to outwit evil and death, slavery and bondage, sin and torment. All you have to do in response is give up control, listen and pay attention, obey and trust.

SOURCE: Chapter 9, “God As Your Navigator (Spiritual),” in Happy for the Rest of Your Life by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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Are You Treating God Like a GPS Unit?

Thursday, December 16th, 2010

Have you ever gotten lost, thrown up your hands, and wondered aloud, “Where in the world am I?”

Many people have discovered the wonders of a Global Positioning System, or GPS. In my line of work, it’s amazing how many people don’t know exactly where they are, metaphorically speaking. It’s impossible for them to get where they’re going, because they have no real inkling of where they are in the first place. They need, for their personal, emotional and spiritual lives, a way to navigate.

Now, a GPS is a relatively new marvel; God has been providing this service to people for millenia.

I’ve known several people over the course of my professional career who wanted to treat God just like a GPS unit. I’ve done so myself. I want God, like a GPS unit, to tell me how to get to my desired intentions. I’ve gotten myself lost, in a mess, and realized I need help to find my way out. So I called out to God — as my spiritual GPS — and asked Him to help me get to where I really wanted to go.

Of course, I didn’t ask Him if my intended destination was any better than my current one. I didn’t really want His opinion; I just wanted His help and divine power to get me out of my jam. I just wanted to be able to input my own data and with His help arrive at my chosen destination.

It’s something akin to the God-as-Santa-Claus syndrome. All I wanted to do was tell Him what I wanted and for Him to miraculoulsy provide it. I wanted His provision, not His perspective. This is God as device not diety, as servant not sovereign. This puts me firmly in control, and then I wonder why things don’t turn out and I’m not very happy.

In the depths of my despair and need, I call out to God, delineating in detail the best way to solve my problem, and then I wonder why God and His (my) solutions don’t appear as a genie from a bottle. This isn’t spirituality; it’s fantasy. It’s not biblical; it’s delusional, to say nothing of disrespectful, disobedient, and rebellious.

God is not really just a spiritual GPS device. It’s not His job to get me out of my messes. He can and will because He loves me, but He was not created for me. I was created for Him. In the powerful words of Rick Warren in The Purpose-Driven Life, it’s not about me. In the same way, it’s not about you.

When God is truly your spiritual navigator, you may drive the car, but He is in charge of the direction you’re not thrilled to be taking. With God as your spiritual navigator, it’s not about you. Instead, you need to give up control, listen to God, do what He tells you, and trust Him to make it all come out OK in the end.

SOURCE: Chapter 9, “God As Your Navigator (Spiritual),” in Happy for the Rest of Your Life by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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Sing a New Song, In the Words of God

Friday, December 10th, 2010

God never intended for you to have your mind filled with negative, destructive message created through the damage of others. For every lie these messages spew, He holds fast with His truth. His truth is positive, uplifting, empowering, and refreshing. God knows every negative thing you say to yourself; He hears the words of despair you utter and offers words of encouragement instead.

You say, “I learned how much one person can hurt another.”

God says,

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command (John 15:12-14). God, knowing how much people can hurt each other, commands each of us to love one another instead.

You say, “I learned that no matter what, I’m just not good enough.”

God says,

“My grace is sufficient for you” (2 Corinthians 12:9). God, understanding your weakness, makes His abundant grace available to you.

You say, “I learned it is possible for someone I love to stop loving me.”

God says,

“God is love” (1 John 4:8); “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). God, who is love, has promised never to leave or forsake you.

You say, “I learned to become resigned to failure.”

God says,

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13). God’s ability to succeed is stronger than your ability to fail.

You say, “I learned what it feels like to be on the outside.”

God says,

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God” (1 Peter 2:9). God has always meant for you to be part of His family, His plan – the ultimate insider for enternity.

You say, “I learned I am the problem.”

God says,

“Who will bring any charge against those God has chosen? It is God who justifies” (Romans 8″:33). God, who knows the truth in all things, is the defender of those wrongly accused, including you.

You say, “I learned up is down and down is up.”

God says,

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). Because of sin, this world will often seem upside down, with nothing sure and secure. God, through Christ, promises and affirms the opposite, giving your life foundation and security.

You say, “I learned a home is not a refuge.”

God says,

“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:29). Over and over again in the Old Testament, God is called a rock and a refuge. God, through Christ, promises to be both refuge and rest for you.

You say, “I learned the world is a scary place, not to be trusted.”

God says,

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me” (John 14:1). God knows the world is an untrustworthy place, so He offers Himself and His Son as the appropriate repositories of your trust; and God, unlike the world, is faithful with your trust.

You say, “I learned how quickly things can change.”

God says,

“He who is the Glory of Israel does not lie or change his mind; for he is not a man, that he should change his mind” (1 Samuel 15:29). God is your rock, and He does not change. Note that God does not promise things won’t change; He only promises that He will not. This life comes with storms; God offers Himself as your anchor.

You say, “I learned that what I do is never good enough.”

God says,

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:8). God is able to work through you to accomplish amazing and extraordinary things. Look at the number of times the words “all” and “every” appear in that one passage. Say it over to yourself this way: “And God is able to make all grace abound in me, so that in all things at all times, having all that I need, I will abound in every work.” It’s perfectly appropriate for you to personalize Scripture; it was written with you in mind.

You say, “I learned that the thoughts of others are more important than my own.”

God says,

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). God knows the only way to have a true heart of humility is based upon an understanding of your own value and worth first so you can extend it on to others. After all, one of the great commandments of God is to love your neighbor as yourself (Leviticus 19:18), which presupposes that you love yourself. You were told others were more important than you. God says, out of love, consider others as better than yourself. It is an attitude of love and service that God commands, after first demonstrating how it is done in the person of Jesus.

You say, “I learned the lesson of my own inadequacy.”

God says,

“For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose” (Philippians 2:13). When God is working through you, there is nothing you cannot accomplish; you are more than adequate.

You say, “I learned to wrap my pain in shame and hide it away.”

God says,

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you” (Isaiah 66:13). God knows the depth of your secret pain and promises comfort and restoration through His unfailing love. God doesn’t want you to hide your pain; He wants you to bring it to Him, as a hurting child runs to his or her mother, so He can comfort you.

You say, “I learned to fear it could happen again.”

God says,

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). There are so many empty assurances with God. He too knows it could happen again, and He promises to be with you through it all.

SOURCE: Chapter 6, “Choose Your Station Wisely (Emotional),” in Happy for the Rest of Your Life by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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How God Provides Answers

Friday, October 1st, 2010

“This is what the Lord says, he who made the earth, the Lord who formed it and established it — the Lord is his name. ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’ ” ~Jer. 33:2-3

There is something profoundly unsettling about an unanswered question.

A question is a form of need; a question is a need for an answer. Needs have a way of becoming progressively louder and louder the longer they go unanswered. The longer a question goes unanswered, the harder it is to believe there was ever an answer in the first place.

When things appear to have no answer, no reason for happening, the world becomes unhinged. When your world becomes unhinged, when your life appears adrift upon a turbulent and disconnected world, there is no telling what you’ll reach out for in order to find something, anything, to hold on to. That’s where excessities come in; they are grab-able, easily accessible handholds, as we’ve seen.

Unanswered questions are a casualty of being in this world. Maybe they’re a part of the “trouble” Jesus says we all inevitably have. They’re a reality we have to deal with now, but this won’t always be so.

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:12:

“Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

There is a time for every question to be answered; we’re just not there yet. So what do we do in the meantime? If unanswered questions and the turmoil they produce have the power to propel us toward useless excessities, is there a way to stay grounded without having the answer to every question, even the deeper ones?

They way I stay grounded when I don’t know the answer, even when I really need to know the answer, is to rest in the faith that God knows even if I don’t. This doesn’t mean that God is somehow obligated by the Jeremiah passage that started this chapter to tell me everything I ask. This isn’t some sort of cosmic math formula with my question and God’s knowledge required to equal an answer.

I’ve got to factor in Isaiah 55:8:

” ‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ delcares the Lord.”

Sometimes the answer is, frankly, out of my league. Trusting that there is an answer, even when I don’t know it or God chooses not to reveal it, requires another one of those leaps of faith. In my experience, sometimes the courage to make the leap is enough of an answer in itself.

While the Jeremiah passage isn’t an equation, it is a promise. It’s also very much in line with how God interacts with us. He is all about knowing the truth and revealing the truth. He’s all about giving answers. That’s pretty much what Jesus did for the three years He was ministering here, walking around on the earth.

Jesus spent his time here …

… showing people why He was sent,

… what He was sent to do,

… where He came from and where He was going,

… when He would be leaving and when He would return,

… how to respond to the truth He presented,

… and who sent Him in the first place.

He fulfilled all of the question words — why, what, where, when, how, and who — with answers.

POINTING THE WAY

There is something so powerful about intentionally turning the focus of your life from a narrow field of vision on self and expanding it out to encompass all that God has planned and purposed for you. He never intended for you to live within a shrunken world, within a tight little spiral of spinning excessities. The truth is out there, and it’s a greater life for you.

Your life has been planned by God from the beginning to display His power. Philippians 2:13 says that God is at work in you according to His good purpose. He’s got a purpose for you. But when you stick to your excessities, you hold back what He has planned for you.

The truth of your life in God is out there, and the life He has purposed for you is one where excessities have no place.

Source: Chapter 14, “God Provides Answers” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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How God Provides Help

Wednesday, September 29th, 2010

In a way, help is both a blessing and a curse. There is a good-news, bad-news quality to help. The bad news comes when you find yourself in such a dire situation where you absolutely, desperately need help. You’re in trouble, and your own efforts are not enough to save you. When help is what you get, that’s very good news, indeed.

Help is a three-step process:

1) Recognizing help is needed.

Denise had reached the threshold of step one; she knew she needed help. Her anger, scathing sarcasm, and bitter outlook were poisoning her life. Things were totally out of control, and Denise realized she needed help.

During my first counseling session with Denise, she spent most of the time forcefully going over why she wasn’t the sort of person who really needed help. She reminded me of a house with a plethora of “No Trespassing,” “No Soliciting,” “Do Not Enter,” and “Warning: Guard Dog on Duty” signs posted everywhere. Intrigued, I could only hope that Denise would trust me enough to allow me past her carefully constructed barriers.

Denise wanted help but she only wanted it yelled across the safety of the sidewalk — not whispered from inside the locked chamber of her heart and emotions. I needed to get inside to be able to give her the help she really needed.

2) Finding help.

Cynthia went to numerous people to try to find help for her bulimia back before most people knew what it was. There were people — professionals — who told her to “just stop it.” There were people who told her what she really needed was a man in her life. There were people who just wanted to give her a pill to make the pain go away.

She didn’t give up. Determined, she kept searching and asking questions, evaluating the answers, and trying them on for size regarding her own issues.

As a Christian, I believe that God is the ultimate source of true help. I believe that God has the ability to truly know who you are. I believe that God has the capacity to provide just the help you need. Many of the people who come to The Center for help believe in God. They believe that God can work through us to provide them with a new direction for their lives and with a renewed understanding of all that is possible, including hope.

3) Accepting help.

Unlike so many of the false promises in this world, the help God gives is effective and tailored to our needs. The help He offers can also be different from what we asked for. Denise knew she needed help from me. The help she wanted was to have more control in her life. The help I offered was for her to have less.

This is the critical third step to help. Once the need for help is acknowledged and offered, you still must make a decision to accept the help. When you do, your life becomes linked with the person who offered the help. A relationship of trust is established. Help is offered, but you must reach out, take it, and incorporate it into your life. When you do, you are changed.

EVER-PRESENT HELP

Psalm 46:1 says, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” There are so many ways God has promised to provide us with help. I don’t know about your life specifically, but I know, in general, I’m always in need of help. I guess that’s why I like the phrase “ever-present” in this verse. It means to me that God is always watching, always aware, always there for me.

Hebrews 13:6 sums it up pretty well:

“So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?’ ”

Source: Chapter 13, “God Provides Help” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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