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Monthly Archives: March 2011

How To Distinguish Between Necessity and Excessity

Posted on March 28, 2011 by Dr. Jantz
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On April 15, EatingDisorderHope.com is giving away 10 copies of my book Gotta Have It! Freedom from Wanting Everything Right Here, Right Now. (To enter the drawing, click here.)  For a preview of what to expect, here’s an excerpt from the Introduction….

In 1986, the self-proclaimed president of the Philippines, Ferdinand Marcos, was deposed in a coup because he was more dictator than president. Ferdinand and his wife Imelda were unceremoniously flown from the capital city of Manila aboard a U.S. government helicopter, barely ahead of a horde of angry citizens.

Amid the remarkable events of that day, people took notice of the black espadrilles Imelda Marcos worse as she boarded the helicopter. Why would anyone focus on footwear when an entire country was enmeshed in such momentous events? It turns out the concern wasn’t over a single pair of shoes, but rather on the fact that Imelda Marcos had over one thousand pairs of shoes.

When the dictator’s palace gates were breached and Imelda Marcos’ private closets thrown open to thew world, news of her shoes hit the media. There were rows upon rows of shoes, in an astonishing display of color and style. Why would anybody have so many? Some would say she had a shoe obsession. I think we can all agree that Imelda regularly, extravegently, excessively binged on shoes.

Any reasonable, rational person could conclude that having over a thousand pairs of shoes is unnecessary. However, Imelda Marcos was hardly reasonable or rational about her shoes. To Imelda, her shoes were a necessity. She justified her behavior by saying she was merely helping the Philippine shoe industry. She refused to accept any concept of excess where her shoes were concerned. One pair of shoes, possibly even a couple of pairs, is a necessity. A thousand pairs of shoes, I hope you’ll come to recognize, is an excessity.

LOOKING AT OUR OWN DESIRES, WANTS AND NEEDS

It’s quite easy to shake our heads and joke about Imelda Marcos’s shoes. And the world did that for a brief moment in time in the late eighties after going through the closets of her life. Even today, we can look at her behavior from a safe distance of time and place and comment on the woman who was out of control where her shoes were concerned.

When we start looking at our own behavior, however, that zone of safety shrinks. Yet the point of Gotta Have It! is to learn to distinguish between true needs and wants. We’ll talk about life’s excessities — a made-up word for a very real situation for many people, when excesses become necessities. This book is about the compulsion to overindulge in any number of everyday behaviors, including the bizarre, comical, and not so funny. Excessity is the impulse that throws caution to the wind and demands immediate satisfaction. It is the blindness that occurs when comfort becomes more important than consequences.

Excessity is about feeding our wants and desires, while at the same time starving our true needs. The more we starve what we really need, the greater our hunger grows, causing us to stuff ourselves with more and more of our wants. After stuffing ourselves full of our wants, we find that we’re still starving, empty, and desperate — and the mad cycle repeats.

Excessities show up in a variety of styles, just like Imelda’s shoes. But when we look at this behavior here, it won’t be from the safety of a front-page story or a past time or a faraway place; it will be close up, right now, in our own lives and the lives of those we love.

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Parental Involvement Important in the Prevention and Awareness of Eating Disorders

Posted on March 19, 2011 by Dr. Jantz
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It is my honor to share with you this article by two eating disorder experts — Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC, Founder and Director of Eating Disorder Hope and Debra Cooper, Expert Writer on eating disorders….

Eating disorders are now epidemic in the United States.  Approximately 11 million women and girls struggle with anorexia and bulimia.  Although the average age of onset is 14, girls are being diagnosed as young as eight.

In years past, an eating disorder stereotype existed. This person was female, white, usually first-born or an only child, a high-achiever and from an affluent family.   That stereotype is long gone. Today, anorexia and bulimia are equal-opportunity disorders.  They flourish in every culture, race, ethnicity, social-economic group, and religion throughout our country. And, whereas eating disorders were once exclusively a female issue, this is no longer the case. Anorexia and bulimia are also on the rise in the male population.

In other words, no individual is exempt and no family is immune.  The following is designed to provide parents with the information required to understand eating disorders and help prevent one from occurring in their home.

Eating Disorders Defined

Eating disorders are serious psychiatric illnesses, not unlike depression or anxiety. Those with an eating disorder use food in an unhealthy manner to cope with unpleasant emotions or difficult life situations. Anorexia and bulimia are two of the most common and dangerous of these disorders.

Anorexia is defined by self-starvation. Those with this illness intentionally starve themselves to dangerously thin levels, at least 15% below what would be considered a normal weight.  Anorexia is an addictive behavior. It is often accompanied by body distortion. This means the one practicing the behavior literally does not see what everyone else does. Regardless of how emaciated she becomes, she still sees an overweight girl in the mirror.

Bulimia is an extremely complex disorder that is difficult for most people to understand. It rarely occurs in very young children. It is far more likely to manifest in adolescents. When a girl has bulimia, she uncontrollably binges on large amounts of food and then purges through vomiting, starving, excessive exercise, laxatives, or other methods. This behavior also has addictive qualities. An individual with bulimia may purge more than 20 times a day.

Contributing Factors & Warning Signs

What causes an eating disorder is highly individualized; it is rarely the result of one isolated event or life situation. Certain factors can contribute to the onset of an eating disorder in a child or adolescent girl.  These include genetics, peer pressure, dieting, trauma, media influence, life transitions, athletics and perfectionism.

The most obvious sign of anorexia is extreme and rapid weight loss.  These girls often diet obsessively, focus inordinate interest in calories, carbohydrates and fat grams, complain about being fat and display an extreme preoccupation with food.  A girl with anorexia will never admit to being hungry, even though she is starving.

The key warning sign for bulimia is leaving quickly after meals and spending a long time in the bathroom.  Visible indications of bulimia are scrapes on the fingers or hands, swollen glands in the neck or possibly broken blood vessels in the eyes.  It is not unusual for a young person with bulimia to steal food from the family or a grocery store.

Body Image and Eating Disorders

Body image is how a person sees herself. It is rarely based on reality, but is far more defined by the culture in which she lives.  Unfortunately, we live in a society that places an absurdly high value on physical perfection and beauty.  This obsession with perfection is most evident in the American media. Beautiful females are showcased everywhere, especially in magazines to promote any number of products.  Often these photos have been altered or undergone a tremendous amount of computer manipulation to achieve perfection.  The problem is:  the girls scrutinizing these models believe they are real – that what they see is how that model actually looks.

By definition, adolescent girls are very self-conscious and body focused.  When they compare themselves to these “perfect” females, they inevitably fall short.  Their self esteem takes a profound hit. They experience extreme body dissatisfaction.  These girls can’t immediately grow taller or change their cheekbones, but they can lose weight.  They start dieting.  This is an eating disorder waiting to happen.

Parents and Eating Disorder Prevention

Although children are influenced everyday by many external factors, parents can play an important role in the prevention of eating disorders.  Throughout a child’s life, food should never be used as a reward or punishment.  Healthy, balanced eating should be modeled in the home.  Exercise should be done for fun and health, not weight loss.

Mothers need to recognize the profound impact their own behavior has on their daughters.  A mother who is always on a diet, obsessed with calories and fat grams, constantly weighing herself and focusing on clothing sizes, will encourage similar behaviors in her daughter.

Similarly, a father plays a vital role in the development of a daughter’s values and self esteem.  Although all parents are encouraged to avoid excessively complimenting or praising a child on her appearance, this is particularly critical where the father is concerned. While a girl is young, her primary male role model is her father.  It is important for her to see that her value to him is not predicated exclusively on how she looks, or she is at risk for taking this same belief system and applying it to all men in adulthood.

Parental focus should be placed on a daughter’s unique talents or achievement in areas such as academics or athletics.  Most important, every child should be highly reinforced for excellent qualities such as kindness, compassion or generosity.

Everyday girls experience peer pressure and are exposed to a host of negative media messages. That’s why it is so important to combat these issues through positive communication in the home.  Parents need to talk about what truly has value in the real world and what does not.  Value is found in the content of an individual’s heart and character, never the numbers on a scale. Further, when an eating disorder is indicated, early intervention by a specialized eating disorder treatment team is essential.

Due to the genetic component of eating disorders, anorexia and bulimia will probably always exist.   However, through a great deal of love, support and open communication, parents can  help their children develop a healthy relationship with food, combat the societal pressure  to be thin, as well as  maintain a strong self esteem and body image.

Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC is the Founder and Director of Eating Disorder Hope. Eating Disorder Hope is the one-stop eating disorder treatment, resource and information site. Eating Disorder Hope promotes ending eating disordered behavior, embracing life and pursuing recovery through implementing the best treatment available for the individual with anorexia, bulimia or binge eating disorder.

Debra M. Cooper, a graduate of Arizona State University, has worked as a professional writer for 25 years.  On staff at a prominent eating disorder treatment center for nine years, Debra is an expert in topics such as anorexia, bulimia and anxiety disorders.  She is the author of Behind The Broken Image, a novel that explores the impact of eating disorders on the individual and the family.

Copyright (C) 2011 Eating Disorder Hope. All rights reserved. URL: EatingDisorder Hope

I hope the information in this article has been helpful. If there is a child in your life who is living with an eating disorder, I invite you to learn about The Center’s approach to whole-person eating disorder treatment. Help and hope is here.

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Paying Attention to the Emotional Abuse of Neglect

Posted on March 14, 2011 by Dr. Jantz
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Tomorrow EatingDisorderHope.com is giving away 10 copies of my book Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse. (To enter the drawing, click here.)  For a preview of what to expect, here’s an excerpt from chapter 6, “Emotional Abuse Through Neglect”….

None of us likes to be ignored, treated as if we simply aren’t important enough to notice. The person who has suffered this type of emotional abuse is saddled with the realization that his or her presence doesn’t even cause a ripple in the world of the abuser. What is so damaging is that usually the abuser is someone from whom the person desperately wants to receive love and attention.

Children know and understand that the things with which adults concern themselves are important. When parents are involved in the life of their child, they communicate to the child that he or she is important. When parents fail to become involved, they communicate to the child a sense of rejection.

The tragedy of emotional abuse through neglect is that it can take place in homes where physical needs are met, even extravagantly met. Children need more than food on the table and a roof over their heads. They are designed to need nurturing physical and emotional emotional relationships with their parents. When emotional needs are not met, children have difficulty progressing developmentally. It is as if they become “stuck” at a certain stage and progression is retarded. Emotionally neglected children are so hungry for emotional attachment that they may cling to strangers or other adults, displaying little natural caution around people they don’t know.

In my work with eating disorders, I found a tie between disordered eating and childhood emotional neglect. Food or control of food becomes a substitute relationship for the one missing; it becomes friend, comforter, lover. This is often tied to unusual comforting behaviors, such as head banging, biting, scratching, or cutting. So fundamental is an emotional bond for connection, comfort, and stability that neglected children turn to inappropriate, damaging behaviors as a way to substitute and cope.

Neglect may be found in the:

  • MIA parent who emotionally and physically abandons his or her responsibility as a parent
  • Distant caregiver who is physically present but emotionally distant and withdrawn from his or her children
  • Emotionally detached parent who provides for his or her children in every way except for emotional bonding and attachment

If neglect or abandonment has depleted your emotional life, it is possible to restore emotional strength. You do so by believing and internalizing the following truths:

I have value because God has given it to me.

Through the mistreatment of others, I have developed a faulty sense of self. I accept this truth and am learning more about who I really am and who I am meant to be every day.

My self-respect and innate dignity are a gift from God that can never be taken away.

I am learning to treat myself with dignity and respect, even if others have not done so in the past.

I am no longer a victim. Today I celebrate being a victor!

SOURCE: Chapter 6, “Emotional Abuse Through Neglect,” in Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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What Can We Learn From Charlie Sheen?

Posted on March 6, 2011 by Dr. Jantz
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Ours is a voyeuristic society. So it’s no surprise we’re fascinated by Charlie Sheen’s psychotic break from reality. The challenge to us is to rise above the “entertainment value” to see Sheen’s drug addiction in a wiser, brighter light — an opportunity for us to witness a side of addiction that most of us would otherwise never see.

As someone who runs a rehabilitation center for drug addiction, I’ve seen a number of people in Charlie Sheen’s position, including celebrities. The difference is Sheen’s insistence on taking his addiction painfully public.

Though he claims to have cured himself with his mind, clearly he is delusional. I’ve been doing this long enough to see he’s high in these interviews. And though I have know way of knowing with any certainty what drugs he’s using, Sheen’s thought patterns remind me of a meth addict’s brain.

Whatever drug or drugs he is using, Charlie Sheen is showing us a perfect demonstration of addiction as a ticking time bomb. You can function for a while, a long while as Sheen has probably done for years. But there’s always a breaking point and, for him, I think there are several more breaking points to come.

I see bitterness. I see rage. There is something imploding inside of him, buried in pride and an exaggerated sense of self-importance.

Bottom line: Addiction always takes you further than you want to go. It always destroys. And in most cases, the only way to save an addict’s life is to intervene. What Charlie Sheen and all addicts need is a new environment and a new approach — what I call a whole-person approach that not only addresses physical aspects of a person’s well-being, but the relational, emotional and psychological aspects as well.

It’s easy to judge an addict’s choices and behavior. What’s tougher is opening our hearts and minds to someone resistant to help, but who clearly needs it.

Posted in Addictions | Leave a reply
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Frequently Asked Questions: Can you treat any type of eating disorder? Do you have doctors and counseling staff on hand? What are some depression symptoms & treatment options? Do your eating disorder counselors treat depression? Do you offer anxiety and depression therapy that works? Do you have an established anorexia treatment program? Do you provide effective eating disorder help? Do you offer an alternative depression cure? Do you offer integrated care for depression treatment? Do you offer treatment for all compulsive eating disorders? What treatment do you offer at your eating disorder clinic? What Is Anxiety? What kind of anxiety and depression help do you provide? When should I seek depression help? What sets your anxiety treatment center apart from others? Can anxiety clinics treat depression as well? What kind of help do you offer at your anxiety clinic? What Is PTSD? Are your services available to residents of Canada as well? How can I better understand and treat Anorexia Nervosa? Where can I find info about Anorexia treatment programs? Does your clinic treat Nervosa as well as Bulimia? What type of ED treatment do you offer at your clinic? What can you tell me about male depression? How can your clinic help with recovery from Bulimia? What is Compulsive Overeating and is it dangerous? Is Bulimia really that serious? Do you take Anorexia patients? Can the anorexia eating disorder be cured? Have you had success with bulimia patients? Do you offer intensive Washington eating disorder treatment? Do you treat those suffering with the bulimia eating disorder?

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