Most women act as the family “historian,” with an uncanny ability to recall details and events in complete clarity and focus. Women are record keepers. This is a wonderful quality and one I’ve relied on over the years. If I fail to recollect an event or remember a name or recall an important point, I go to my wife, LaFon. If it’s something from my youth, it’s as close as a call to my mother, Judy. For both of them, whatever I can’t remember is usually on the tip of their tongue, and the memory comes rushing out as clear and crisp as an autumn day.
This amazing ability, however, has a dark side for women. Women can take it and use it to remember every injury or insult, every unkind word or misunderstood event, every vacant stare or broken promise – in short, every wrong ever perpetrated against her. As James 3:14 says, this type of negativity often finds safe “harbor” in your heart. But, what if a misspoken word is just that? What if an unfulfilled promise was a simple mistake? What if event Z has no valid connection to event A? A single act today, woven together with all the rest, can create a tattered cloth of anger, outrage, and indignation.
Rachel’s story tomorrow.
SOURCE: Chapter 4: “What’s Wrong with Keeping Score?” in Every Woman’s Guide to Managing Your Anger by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.