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What’s Wrong with Keeping Score?

Most women act as the family “historian,” with an uncanny ability to recall details and events in complete clarity and focus. Women are record keepers. This is a wonderful quality and one I’ve relied on over the years. If I fail to recollect an event or remember a name or recall an important point, I go to my wife, LaFon. If it’s something from my youth, it’s as close as a call to my mother, Judy. For both of them, whatever I can’t remember is usually on the tip of their tongue, and the memory comes rushing out as clear and crisp as an autumn day.

This amazing ability, however, has a dark side for women. Women can take it and use it to remember every injury or insult, every unkind word or misunderstood event, every vacant stare or broken promise – in short, every wrong ever perpetrated against her. As James 3:14 says, this type of negativity often finds safe “harbor” in your heart. But, what if a misspoken word is just that? What if an unfulfilled promise was a simple mistake? What if event Z has no valid connection to event A? A single act today, woven together with all the rest, can create a tattered cloth of anger, outrage, and indignation.

Rachel’s story tomorrow.

SOURCE: Chapter 4: “What’s Wrong with Keeping Score?” in Every Woman’s Guide to Managing Your Anger by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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