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    Resolving Relationships: Moving Beyond the Anger

    When a relationship is infested with hidden anger and unexposed truths, it is an unresolved relationship. Unresolved relationships, as I said before, are a source of pain. It is important to remember, however, that bringing resolution to a relationship does not mean the relationship will be good or positive or perfect.

    Bringing resolution to a relationship often means bringing clarity to that relationship. If the relationship is a hurtful or abusive one, bringing it into clearer focus will only make the reality of that truth more apparent. Resolving relationships does not whitewash them, it reveals them for what they are. When relationships are revealed for what they are, sometimes you must acknowledge difficult and hurtful truths. When relationships are revealed for what they are, they can finally be addressed.

    Unresolved relationships cause pain. Pain produces anger. Anger keeps relationships unresolved. It would seem logical, then, that the way to deal with this cyclical equation would be to deal with the pain in order to resolve the relationship. This is where fear once again plays a pivotal role. You may be fearful if the source of your pain comes from deep within your family experience growing up.

    Monday: Katie’s story.

    SOURCE: Chapter 7: “Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?” in Every Woman’s Guide to Managing Your Anger by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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    2 Comments

    1. This is very true. The Center helped me get ‘real’ in an abusive relationship. I had dealt with it by living in a mind-numbing fog; pain avoidance. Now when things go wrong I let myself feel the hurt and pain, which isn’t fun, but I can now feel unrestrained love and joy, too. I deal with the problems in the relationship, even when fear is there. I now know who I am and what my rights are as a person, God’s daughter. It took work, lots of it. A person can’t just go to The Center and magically come out changed. She must have dedication and a strong desire to make it. Wanting to be different, strong, alive must be all encompassing. I am so thankful for the new path everyone there set me on. The path still has sharp rocks and potholes, but now I have the ability to jump through (not over) them. #drjantzgift

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    2. This is Awesome what a blessing!

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