by Dr. Gregg Jantz | November 29, 2019
Loss produces pain, so using the term “numbing out” is not a coincidence. So many of the survival strategies used by abused children are meant to do just that—provide a way to numb the pain. You may think you’re avoiding the pain, but you’re not. The pain is still there, affecting what you do and …
by Dr. Gregg Jantz | December 19, 2018
Historians are people who remember every bad thing you have ever done or they think you have done. In healthy relationships, positive and happy memories survive
by Dr. Gregg Jantz | May 31, 2018
One of the core traits of a dependent personality is difficulty accepting challenging or disturbing truths about self or others out of a need to maintain the status quo.
Is There More to Love Than What You’ve Experienced?Read More
by Dr. Gregg Jantz | December 6, 2017
Sheila sat on her bed and cried out in frustration. What was she going to do? The fear she’d been carrying around inside for the past six months finally was realized. He’s made it clear that if she wanted to get her promotion, she’d have to “cooperate” with him. Sheila had no delusions about what …
by Dr. Gregg Jantz | March 30, 2017
Any kind of abuse, emotional abuse included, is an attack on a person’s sense of self. It demeans and controls that person through words or actions, devaluing that person and ultimately elevating the abuser.
by Dr. Gregg Jantz | September 4, 2016
Attachment theory highlights the importance of a strong, healthy attachment in childhood. This important attachment comes at the earliest stages of life to a parent or primary caregiver, usually a mother. This first, fundamental attachment, or relationship, sets the stage for all relationships going forward.
by Dr. Gregg Jantz | March 18, 2016
It seems some people have an uncanny ability to attract the “wrong” kinds of people in relationships. I have heard clients describe themselves as having a “radar” whereby the wrong kind of people seems to be able to pick them out in a crowd. Why, they want to know, do I always seem to attract …
by Dr. Gregg Jantz | February 6, 2016
“So you really think you can get that job, huh? What a joke! Why in the world would anyone want to hire you?” Jeff’s older brother sneered at him with disgust. “Well, I guess because I’m a hard worker and I’m willing to learn,” Jeff responded angrily, feeling that familiar knot tying up in his …
by Dr. Gregg Jantz | November 16, 2015
Along with tying your identity to your anger, there is also a temptation to define yourself as a victim: once a victim, always a victim. This negative, fatalistic approach has its perceived positives. If you consider yourself a victim, you have a familiar template with which to evaluate yourself and your life. You can demand …
by Dr. Gregg Jantz | September 30, 2015
Spiritual abuse is used as a way to manipulate and control, and it usurps divine authority in order to promote self, which is the opposite of what God does.
by Dr. Gregg Jantz | June 8, 2015
As a professional counselor treating eating disorders for over twenty-five years, I am very concerned about the often over-looked issue of emotional abuse. For many years I have noticed that the focus of abuse, even the concept of abuse, has centered around the physical beatings, outward neglect, and sexual invasion of children. The signs of …
by Dr. Gregg Jantz | June 1, 2015
One of the deepest needs of children is consistency, including the certain knowledge that they are unconditionally accepts and valued by those who love them. Small children crave the repetitive, constant nature of certain stories in which the same words or phrases are used over and over again. Children learn what to expect, anticipate with …
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