Loss produces pain, so using the term “numbing out” is not a coincidence. So many of the survival strategies used by abused children are meant to do just that—provide a way to numb the pain. You may think you’re avoiding the pain, but you’re not. The pain is still there, affecting what you do and …
Childhood abuse has the very real capacity to damage a person’s sense of self. A damaged sense of self creates complications in a person’s relationships with others. In many ways, childhood abuse gives you the blueprint for what not to do in relationships. The difficulty is recognizing the blueprint is faulty when it has become …
Recovery from childhood abuse requires healing on a variety of levels. One level that tends to be overlooked is the physical level.
Historians are people who remember every bad thing you have ever done or they think you have done. In healthy relationships, positive and happy memories survive
Dealing with conflict may be faulty if you have past abuse. Healthy problem solvers maintain supportive relationships through increased communication.
Stopping the Relationship “Tug-of-war” The Game We have all heard of the childhood game of “Tug-of-war”. This is a test of strength, where each end of a single rope is pulled by opposing sides, both of which hope to gain control and take the rope from the other. The one who ends up with the …
It is so important for you to be able to identify the burdens from past relationships that may be slowing down your rate of recovery.
One of the core traits of a dependent personality is difficulty accepting challenging or disturbing truths about self or others out of a need to maintain the status quo.
This soundtrack you’ve been living with wasn’t recorded overnight. Instead, it’s a compilation of messages you’ve heard, impressions and impacts you’ve assimilated, and conclusions you’ve reached over the course of your life.
For those of you with families that don’t work so well, you have some challenges ahead of you. The first is, you need to work toward rewriting the negative tapes that were played over and over.
A person who would attempt to use a superior position to obtain sexual favors from a subordinate could be described as a sexual manipulator. People like this are sexually aggressive, and their objective usually is their own sexual gratification.
Over the years, I’ve learned how important both verbal and nonverbal communication is in a relationship. Healthy communication, then, requires a new blueprint for those who have experienced childhood abuse.