Blog posts, news articles, and other resources from The Center • A Place of HOPE
Loss produces pain, so using the term “numbing out” is not a coincidence. So many of the survival strategies used by abused children are meant to do just that—provide a way to numb the pain. You may think you’re avoiding the pain, but you’re not. The pain is still there,...
One of the core traits of a dependent personality is difficulty accepting challenging or disturbing truths about self or others out of a need to maintain the status quo.
Sheila sat on her bed and cried out in frustration. What was she going to do? The fear she'd been carrying around inside for the past six months finally was realized. He's made it clear that if she wanted to get her promotion, she'd have to "cooperate" with him. Sheila...
Any kind of abuse, emotional abuse included, is an attack on a person's sense of self. It demeans and controls that person through words or actions, devaluing that person and ultimately elevating the abuser.
Attachment theory highlights the importance of a strong, healthy attachment in childhood. This important attachment comes at the earliest stages of life to a parent or primary caregiver, usually a mother. This first, fundamental attachment, or relationship, sets the stage for all relationships going forward.
It seems some people have an uncanny ability to attract the "wrong" kinds of people in relationships. I have heard clients describe themselves as having a "radar" whereby the wrong kind of people seems to be able to pick them out in a crowd. Why, they want to know, do...
“So you really think you can get that job, huh? What a joke! Why in the world would anyone want to hire you?” Jeff’s older brother sneered at him with disgust.“Well, I guess because I’m a hard worker and I’m willing to learn,” Jeff responded angrily, feeling that familiar knot...
Along with tying your identity to your anger, there is also a temptation to define yourself as a victim: once a victim, always a victim. This negative, fatalistic approach has its perceived positives. If you consider yourself a victim, you have a familiar template with which to evaluate yourself and...
Spiritual abuse is used as a way to manipulate and control, and it usurps divine authority in order to promote self, which is the opposite of what God does.
As a professional counselor treating eating disorders for over twenty-five years, I am very concerned about the often over-looked issue of emotional abuse. For many years I have noticed that the focus of abuse, even the concept of abuse, has centered around the physical beatings, outward neglect, and sexual invasion...
One of the deepest needs of children is consistency, including the certain knowledge that they are unconditionally accepts and valued by those who love them. Small children crave the repetitive, constant nature of certain stories in which the same words or phrases are used over and over again. Children learn...
Terry sat in the train station worrying. She worried she was at the wrong track. She worried the train would be late. She worried her daughter wouldn’t be able to pick her up at the other end. Terry worried this entire trip was really a bother to her daughter, especially...
Many times you have probably asked yourself, How did my life ever get this way? Often at the core of every eating disorder, and many disordered eating patterns, lies some sort of abuse or abusive situation—verbal, emotional, physical, sexual abuse, or a combination of these. When this abuse is added...
It is said that depression is only anger turned inward. Emotionally abused people often given up on emotions, since emotions have proven to be so damaging. They have been beaten down by the emotions of others and struck through the heart by their own emotions in response. No safety, just...
As with other types of abuse, emotional abuse can be self-perpetuating.
A brilliant woman pianist once gave an intimate performance for a group of society women in the sun-drenched library of a country estate. Later, while dessert was being served, a guest approached the pianist, gushing, "I would give anything in the world to play as you play." The virtuoso looked...
From perfectionism to abuse, there are 12 common characteristics of families of those with eating disorders.
The whole person approach to treatment integrates all aspects of a person’s life: