Resources for Family Relationships
Articles, Reports, and Other Resources
Roles of Parents
The following is a list of the key elements of the job description for the role of PARENT. Under the column marked “Limitations”, list factors that may limit the completion of the parental responsibilities. You may also want to list the individuals in your family’s support system who help with certain responsibilities that you have delegated.
1) Provide basic needs: Food, Clothing, Adequate shelter
2) Provide safety and security, Teach personal safety, Prevent Victimization
|3) Coordinate educational needs||3)|
4) Teach personal grooming/hygiene, Sexual development information
5) Ensure medical & health needs, Physical, Emotional
6) Teach right and wrong, Spiritual care
7) Teach discipline/reasonable limits, Using good judgment, not discipline out of anger or rage.
|8) Teach social skills||8)|
|9) Provide/coordinate recreational needs||9)|
10) Teach/model communication Language skills
11) Teach/model appropriate, problem-solving, Prevent drug abuse
12) Care/nurturing, Hugs and kisses, Comfort, Encouragement
13) Coordinate 24 hour adult, Supervision up to age 18 or legal, emancipation
Ten Steps For Resolving Couple Conflicts
- Set a time and place for discussion.
- Define the problem or issue of disagreement.
- How do you contribute to the problem?
- List things you have done in the past which have not been successful.
- Brainstorm and list all possible solutions.
- Discuss every one of these solutions.
- Agree on one solution to try.
- Agree how each person will work toward the solution.
- Set a time for another meeting to review your progress.
- Reward each other as you contribute toward the solution.
Every couple has differences and disagreements, but healthy couples find ways to resolve marital disputes without turning them into marital wars. These couples accept and appreciate the fact that each person has independent opinions. They encourage open expression and work together to reach a settlement.
If you have difficulty resolving differences without serious arguments, try the following exercise. It will boost your problem-solving success rate.
This is not a game. As simple as the exercise looks, it may be hard for you to complete. If you cannot finish it, try again at a future date.
- Schedule a specific date, time and place for a couple meeting within the next week. Allow at least 30 minutes.
- Meeting Date:
WHAT IS A HEALTHY FAMILY?
|Non-Enduring Traits of a Healthy Family||Enduring Traits of a Healthy Family|
|Distorted view of God, others, self, and authority||Distorted view of God, others, self, and authority|
|Closed system.||Closed system.|
|Rigid, unspoken rules with serious penalties which guarantee control.||Rigid, unspoken rules with serious penalties which guarantee control.|
|Restriction/control of all choices by members.||Restriction/control of all choices by members.|
|Undue influence, thought control, manipulation.||Undue influence, thought control, manipulation.|
|Cult important; individual unimportant.||Family important; individual unimportant.|
|Uncertain boundaries.||Uncertain boundaries.|
|Control by physical abuse.||Control by physical abuse.|
|Control by verbal abuse.||Control by verbal abuse.|
|Control by sexual abuse.||Control by sexual abuse.|
|Control by ritualistic practices, fear.||Control by ritualistic practices, fear.|
|Dependency on group; independent functioning discouraged/sabotaged.||Dependency on family; independent functioning discouraged/sabotaged.|
|Rigidity; security by stable sameness.||Rigidity; security by stable sameness.|
|Exploitation of individual industry/resources||Exploitation of individual industry/resources|
|Relentless shaming, guilting.||Relentless shaming, guilting.|
|Rules about emotions.||Rules about emotions.|
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