Posts Tagged ‘God’

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Merry Christmas In the Name of God We Trust

Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010

Inherent in our celebration of the birth of Christ is our celebration of the Holy Father. God goes by many names, all of which imply the same – unconditional love, of course, but also our unwavering trust.

Webster’s Dictionary defines trust in the following ways: “1 a: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something; b: one in which confidence is placed. In order to obey what God tells you to do, you need to be able to place your confidence in Him. That confidence is based upon His character, ability, strength, and truth.

God’s character is clearly shown through the names He gives Himself. These are descriptors of His character. Regent University has a wonderful website at www.bible.org that outlines the names of God. They are:

  • Elohim – This is the plural version of the term El, which means “strong one,” and refers to majesty. It is plural, signifying the truine nature of God.
  • El Shaddai – “God Almighty.” God is almighty, or as Luke 1:37 says, “Nothing is impossible with God.”
  • El Elyon – “The Most High God,” stressing God’s strength, sovereignty, and supremacy.
  • El Olam – “The everlasting God.” God does not change, nor does He wear out.
  • Yahweh Jireh – “The Lord will provide.” Note it doesn’t say might or could or may provide; it says will.
  • Yahweh Nissi – “The Lord is my banner.” This signifies God as leading the charge in battle and providing victory.
  • Yahweh Shalom – “The Lord is peace.” This peace is global and personal (Isaiah 26:12).
  • Yahweb Sabbaoth – “The Lord of hosts.” God is the commander of the heavenly armies; He has spiritual resources at His command.
  • Yahweb Maccadeshcem – “The Lord your sanctifier.” God has sanctified you; He has set you apart for His purposes.
  • Yahweb Ro’i – “The Lord my shepherd.” (See Psalm 23, one of the most beautiful poems ever written.)
  • Yahweh Tsidkenu – “The Lord our righteousness.” God provides what you and I are unable to provide on our own.
  • Yahweb Shammah – “The Lord is there,” signifying God’s personal presence. HE is not a way-out-there, disconnected deity; He is there with you.
  • Yahweb Elohim Israel – “The Lord, the God of Israel.” You are included as a spiritual descendent of Israel.
  • Adonai – “Master, authority, provider.” This is also in the plural form, signifying God’s truine friendship.
  • Thoes – “God.” This is a Greek word, identifying God as the one true God, as unique, as transcendent, as Savior.
  • Kurios – “Lord.” Another Greek word, signifying authority and supremacy.
  • Despotes – “Master,” with the connotation of ownership. First Corinthians 6:20 and 7:23 remind you that you were bought with a price and are not your own.
  • Father – I thought it was interesting that this form of the word is found only 15 times in the Old Testament but 245 times in the New Testament. Whatever else and whoever else God is, He is your heavenly Father.

Put all of these together, then, and this is who you are being called to place your confidence, your trust, in. What better place can you think of in which to place your trust?

According to the dictionary definition of trust given earlier, God has the character, ability, strength, and truth to be worthy of your trust. There is, however, a secondary definition I’d like to explore. It is “dependence on something future or contingent.”

Hebrews 12:2 says, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”  ”For the joy set before him” points to this shading of definition for the word trust. Jesus endured because He was absolutely sure of and dependent upon something in the future, that joy. Jesus trusted God for what had not yet occurred. This future joy tomorrow helped Jesus endure today.

In the same way, you can trust God not only for what He can do for you today but also for what He will do for you tomorrow and into eternity. If all of this sounds too good to be true, too much like an evangelical infomercial, let me just say a couple of things.

First, I agree, it does sound too good to be true. However, God is truth, so while it is entirely too good for the likes of me (and you, if I may be so bold), it is true. You can count on it; you can trust in God.

Secondly, it becomes easier to understand and accept if you’ll concentrate on the last word of the names of God, one of the two I added.

Concentrate on God as love. God is trustworthy with your life and future and happiness because He loves you. He has demonstrated that love to you in the most graphic way possible – by sacrificing His one and only Son in your place so you can be made righteous and able to enter into intimate fellowship with this amazing, all-powerful, almighty, loving Father.

Remember, it’s not about you; it’s about God. You can trust Him because He has put in motion this eon-spanning, intricate, creative plan to outwit evil and death, slavery and bondage, sin and torment. All you have to do in response is give up control, listen and pay attention, obey and trust.

SOURCE: Chapter 9, “God As Your Navigator (Spiritual),” in Happy for the Rest of Your Life by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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Are You Treating God Like a GPS Unit?

Thursday, December 16th, 2010

Have you ever gotten lost, thrown up your hands, and wondered aloud, “Where in the world am I?”

Many people have discovered the wonders of a Global Positioning System, or GPS. In my line of work, it’s amazing how many people don’t know exactly where they are, metaphorically speaking. It’s impossible for them to get where they’re going, because they have no real inkling of where they are in the first place. They need, for their personal, emotional and spiritual lives, a way to navigate.

Now, a GPS is a relatively new marvel; God has been providing this service to people for millenia.

I’ve known several people over the course of my professional career who wanted to treat God just like a GPS unit. I’ve done so myself. I want God, like a GPS unit, to tell me how to get to my desired intentions. I’ve gotten myself lost, in a mess, and realized I need help to find my way out. So I called out to God — as my spiritual GPS — and asked Him to help me get to where I really wanted to go.

Of course, I didn’t ask Him if my intended destination was any better than my current one. I didn’t really want His opinion; I just wanted His help and divine power to get me out of my jam. I just wanted to be able to input my own data and with His help arrive at my chosen destination.

It’s something akin to the God-as-Santa-Claus syndrome. All I wanted to do was tell Him what I wanted and for Him to miraculoulsy provide it. I wanted His provision, not His perspective. This is God as device not diety, as servant not sovereign. This puts me firmly in control, and then I wonder why things don’t turn out and I’m not very happy.

In the depths of my despair and need, I call out to God, delineating in detail the best way to solve my problem, and then I wonder why God and His (my) solutions don’t appear as a genie from a bottle. This isn’t spirituality; it’s fantasy. It’s not biblical; it’s delusional, to say nothing of disrespectful, disobedient, and rebellious.

God is not really just a spiritual GPS device. It’s not His job to get me out of my messes. He can and will because He loves me, but He was not created for me. I was created for Him. In the powerful words of Rick Warren in The Purpose-Driven Life, it’s not about me. In the same way, it’s not about you.

When God is truly your spiritual navigator, you may drive the car, but He is in charge of the direction you’re not thrilled to be taking. With God as your spiritual navigator, it’s not about you. Instead, you need to give up control, listen to God, do what He tells you, and trust Him to make it all come out OK in the end.

SOURCE: Chapter 9, “God As Your Navigator (Spiritual),” in Happy for the Rest of Your Life by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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Sing a New Song, In the Words of God

Friday, December 10th, 2010

God never intended for you to have your mind filled with negative, destructive message created through the damage of others. For every lie these messages spew, He holds fast with His truth. His truth is positive, uplifting, empowering, and refreshing. God knows every negative thing you say to yourself; He hears the words of despair you utter and offers words of encouragement instead.

You say, “I learned how much one person can hurt another.”

God says,

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command (John 15:12-14). God, knowing how much people can hurt each other, commands each of us to love one another instead.

You say, “I learned that no matter what, I’m just not good enough.”

God says,

“My grace is sufficient for you” (2 Corinthians 12:9). God, understanding your weakness, makes His abundant grace available to you.

You say, “I learned it is possible for someone I love to stop loving me.”

God says,

“God is love” (1 John 4:8); “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). God, who is love, has promised never to leave or forsake you.

You say, “I learned to become resigned to failure.”

God says,

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13). God’s ability to succeed is stronger than your ability to fail.

You say, “I learned what it feels like to be on the outside.”

God says,

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God” (1 Peter 2:9). God has always meant for you to be part of His family, His plan – the ultimate insider for enternity.

You say, “I learned I am the problem.”

God says,

“Who will bring any charge against those God has chosen? It is God who justifies” (Romans 8″:33). God, who knows the truth in all things, is the defender of those wrongly accused, including you.

You say, “I learned up is down and down is up.”

God says,

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). Because of sin, this world will often seem upside down, with nothing sure and secure. God, through Christ, promises and affirms the opposite, giving your life foundation and security.

You say, “I learned a home is not a refuge.”

God says,

“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:29). Over and over again in the Old Testament, God is called a rock and a refuge. God, through Christ, promises to be both refuge and rest for you.

You say, “I learned the world is a scary place, not to be trusted.”

God says,

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me” (John 14:1). God knows the world is an untrustworthy place, so He offers Himself and His Son as the appropriate repositories of your trust; and God, unlike the world, is faithful with your trust.

You say, “I learned how quickly things can change.”

God says,

“He who is the Glory of Israel does not lie or change his mind; for he is not a man, that he should change his mind” (1 Samuel 15:29). God is your rock, and He does not change. Note that God does not promise things won’t change; He only promises that He will not. This life comes with storms; God offers Himself as your anchor.

You say, “I learned that what I do is never good enough.”

God says,

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:8). God is able to work through you to accomplish amazing and extraordinary things. Look at the number of times the words “all” and “every” appear in that one passage. Say it over to yourself this way: “And God is able to make all grace abound in me, so that in all things at all times, having all that I need, I will abound in every work.” It’s perfectly appropriate for you to personalize Scripture; it was written with you in mind.

You say, “I learned that the thoughts of others are more important than my own.”

God says,

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). God knows the only way to have a true heart of humility is based upon an understanding of your own value and worth first so you can extend it on to others. After all, one of the great commandments of God is to love your neighbor as yourself (Leviticus 19:18), which presupposes that you love yourself. You were told others were more important than you. God says, out of love, consider others as better than yourself. It is an attitude of love and service that God commands, after first demonstrating how it is done in the person of Jesus.

You say, “I learned the lesson of my own inadequacy.”

God says,

“For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose” (Philippians 2:13). When God is working through you, there is nothing you cannot accomplish; you are more than adequate.

You say, “I learned to wrap my pain in shame and hide it away.”

God says,

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you” (Isaiah 66:13). God knows the depth of your secret pain and promises comfort and restoration through His unfailing love. God doesn’t want you to hide your pain; He wants you to bring it to Him, as a hurting child runs to his or her mother, so He can comfort you.

You say, “I learned to fear it could happen again.”

God says,

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). There are so many empty assurances with God. He too knows it could happen again, and He promises to be with you through it all.

SOURCE: Chapter 6, “Choose Your Station Wisely (Emotional),” in Happy for the Rest of Your Life by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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How God Provides Answers

Friday, October 1st, 2010

“This is what the Lord says, he who made the earth, the Lord who formed it and established it — the Lord is his name. ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’ ” ~Jer. 33:2-3

There is something profoundly unsettling about an unanswered question.

A question is a form of need; a question is a need for an answer. Needs have a way of becoming progressively louder and louder the longer they go unanswered. The longer a question goes unanswered, the harder it is to believe there was ever an answer in the first place.

When things appear to have no answer, no reason for happening, the world becomes unhinged. When your world becomes unhinged, when your life appears adrift upon a turbulent and disconnected world, there is no telling what you’ll reach out for in order to find something, anything, to hold on to. That’s where excessities come in; they are grab-able, easily accessible handholds, as we’ve seen.

Unanswered questions are a casualty of being in this world. Maybe they’re a part of the “trouble” Jesus says we all inevitably have. They’re a reality we have to deal with now, but this won’t always be so.

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:12:

“Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

There is a time for every question to be answered; we’re just not there yet. So what do we do in the meantime? If unanswered questions and the turmoil they produce have the power to propel us toward useless excessities, is there a way to stay grounded without having the answer to every question, even the deeper ones?

They way I stay grounded when I don’t know the answer, even when I really need to know the answer, is to rest in the faith that God knows even if I don’t. This doesn’t mean that God is somehow obligated by the Jeremiah passage that started this chapter to tell me everything I ask. This isn’t some sort of cosmic math formula with my question and God’s knowledge required to equal an answer.

I’ve got to factor in Isaiah 55:8:

” ‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ delcares the Lord.”

Sometimes the answer is, frankly, out of my league. Trusting that there is an answer, even when I don’t know it or God chooses not to reveal it, requires another one of those leaps of faith. In my experience, sometimes the courage to make the leap is enough of an answer in itself.

While the Jeremiah passage isn’t an equation, it is a promise. It’s also very much in line with how God interacts with us. He is all about knowing the truth and revealing the truth. He’s all about giving answers. That’s pretty much what Jesus did for the three years He was ministering here, walking around on the earth.

Jesus spent his time here …

… showing people why He was sent,

… what He was sent to do,

… where He came from and where He was going,

… when He would be leaving and when He would return,

… how to respond to the truth He presented,

… and who sent Him in the first place.

He fulfilled all of the question words — why, what, where, when, how, and who — with answers.

POINTING THE WAY

There is something so powerful about intentionally turning the focus of your life from a narrow field of vision on self and expanding it out to encompass all that God has planned and purposed for you. He never intended for you to live within a shrunken world, within a tight little spiral of spinning excessities. The truth is out there, and it’s a greater life for you.

Your life has been planned by God from the beginning to display His power. Philippians 2:13 says that God is at work in you according to His good purpose. He’s got a purpose for you. But when you stick to your excessities, you hold back what He has planned for you.

The truth of your life in God is out there, and the life He has purposed for you is one where excessities have no place.

Source: Chapter 14, “God Provides Answers” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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How God Provides Help

Wednesday, September 29th, 2010

In a way, help is both a blessing and a curse. There is a good-news, bad-news quality to help. The bad news comes when you find yourself in such a dire situation where you absolutely, desperately need help. You’re in trouble, and your own efforts are not enough to save you. When help is what you get, that’s very good news, indeed.

Help is a three-step process:

1) Recognizing help is needed.

Denise had reached the threshold of step one; she knew she needed help. Her anger, scathing sarcasm, and bitter outlook were poisoning her life. Things were totally out of control, and Denise realized she needed help.

During my first counseling session with Denise, she spent most of the time forcefully going over why she wasn’t the sort of person who really needed help. She reminded me of a house with a plethora of “No Trespassing,” “No Soliciting,” “Do Not Enter,” and “Warning: Guard Dog on Duty” signs posted everywhere. Intrigued, I could only hope that Denise would trust me enough to allow me past her carefully constructed barriers.

Denise wanted help but she only wanted it yelled across the safety of the sidewalk — not whispered from inside the locked chamber of her heart and emotions. I needed to get inside to be able to give her the help she really needed.

2) Finding help.

Cynthia went to numerous people to try to find help for her bulimia back before most people knew what it was. There were people — professionals — who told her to “just stop it.” There were people who told her what she really needed was a man in her life. There were people who just wanted to give her a pill to make the pain go away.

She didn’t give up. Determined, she kept searching and asking questions, evaluating the answers, and trying them on for size regarding her own issues.

As a Christian, I believe that God is the ultimate source of true help. I believe that God has the ability to truly know who you are. I believe that God has the capacity to provide just the help you need. Many of the people who come to The Center for help believe in God. They believe that God can work through us to provide them with a new direction for their lives and with a renewed understanding of all that is possible, including hope.

3) Accepting help.

Unlike so many of the false promises in this world, the help God gives is effective and tailored to our needs. The help He offers can also be different from what we asked for. Denise knew she needed help from me. The help she wanted was to have more control in her life. The help I offered was for her to have less.

This is the critical third step to help. Once the need for help is acknowledged and offered, you still must make a decision to accept the help. When you do, your life becomes linked with the person who offered the help. A relationship of trust is established. Help is offered, but you must reach out, take it, and incorporate it into your life. When you do, you are changed.

EVER-PRESENT HELP

Psalm 46:1 says, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” There are so many ways God has promised to provide us with help. I don’t know about your life specifically, but I know, in general, I’m always in need of help. I guess that’s why I like the phrase “ever-present” in this verse. It means to me that God is always watching, always aware, always there for me.

Hebrews 13:6 sums it up pretty well:

“So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?’ ”

Source: Chapter 13, “God Provides Help” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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How God Provides Contentment

Sunday, September 19th, 2010

It is not possible to realize and experience true contentment if you are focused on never having enough. We need to discover our “never enoughs” so we can move them out of the way and contentment can flow into our lives.

The Bible is filled with examples of “never enough” behaviors. We’ll just look at one example right now, from Isaiah:

“They are dogs with mighty appetites; they never have enough. They are shepherds who lack understanding; they all turn to their own way, each seeks his own gain (56:11).”

This passage is directed to the elders of Israel who turned aside from how they were supposed to act — as protectors, leaders, and guides to their flock — and went off on their own way, seeking their own gain. This is a textbook example of how excessities get turned around into “never enoughs.”

Often the behavior of an excessity starts out as harmless, even beneficial. Hobbies, for example, can be recreational and completely appropriate. Pursuing your career can be productive and positive. Eating and drinking in moderation are beneficial. Relationships can be giving and loving.

At some point, however, each of these activities can turn out a different way.

A hobby becomes an all-consuming obsession. Working becomes workaholism. Eating becomes gluttony. Drinking becomes drunkenness. Relationships become twisted. When you start down this road without a proper understanding of the dangers, they can end up turning on you, spiraling back down into themselves. At some point the behavior becomes an excessity. When it does, you no longer have control over it.

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO DOROTHY

I grew up watching The Wizard of Oz. I especially liked it as a kid because I lived in Kansas. The movie would play almost every holiday, usually when kids were home from school on break and parents needed a few extra hours to finish up with holiday preparations. I watched it so many times I could run the dialogue.

Even as a kid, there was one part near the end that always drew my attention, though I didn’t really understand it at the time.

Dorothy has just returned from Oz, and she’s telling her uncle’s hired hands what she’s learned during her journey. Dorothy says she’s learned that “If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own backyard; because if it isn’t here I never really lost it to begin with.”

The gospel according to Dorothy tells me that contentment isn’t something external, found in circumstances or even adventures. Contentment is an internal condition, something you shouldn’t need to look for because its rightful home is in your heart. Dorothy learned to recognize the value of what she had instead of seeking after the promise of what she didn’t.

The ability to capture true contentment comes from recognizing what you have instead of focusing on what you don’t.

The writer of Hebrews put it this way:

“Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake’ ” (13:5).

Removing “the love of money” in this passage, each one of us could substitute our own particular desire that fuels our excessity.

“Keep[ing] [our] lives free” would be difficult to do if it weren’t for the “because” statement that follows. Why can you put down your desire, your longing, your need, your excessity? Because by saying no to it, you are saying yes to God, knowing that through His love He has promised never to leave you, never to forsake you.

Source: Chapter 10, “God Provides Contentment” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc

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What Patience Is, and What It’s Not

Tuesday, September 14th, 2010

The world does not see patience as a position of strength but rather as a position of weakness, of wanting, of lack. Powerful people don’t have to wait; powerless people do. This is a fundamental misunderstanding of patience. Patience allows you to take back control over a capricious and unstable world and plant that control firmly within yourself.

Patience does not give you the power over circumstances; patience allows you to control yourself in the midst of circumstances.

Because of the misconceptions about patience I’ve run into over the years as I’ve helped people develop the capacity for patience in their lives, I’d like to go over some of the realities and truths of patience.

Patience is not apathy. Apathy is a lack of interest or concern. Being patient does not mean disengaging or disconnecting from your feelings or emotions. Being patient means accepting both how you feel about a given situation and what you can realistically do about it.

Patience is not surrender. A decision to exercise patience is not the equivalent of waving the white flag. When you surrender, you place yourself under the control of the situati0n and remove yourself from the equation. Patience is not surrendering your power to the circumstance; patience is redeploying that power back to you.

Patience is not static. Thre is a misconception that patience, or the act of waiting, is just sitting there, doing nothing. In this, patience is a little like sleep. When we’re sleeping, it can appear that we’re doing nothing — we’re just sleeping. Sleep, however, is a highly dynamic process where the body is actively engaged in repairing itself. The mind is filtering and collating and processing the events of the day. In the same way patience is an active time of remembering, reexamining, and recommitting to those things you know are true. Patience, like sleep, is the act of preparing for the new day to come.

Patience is not impossible. One of the biggest lies of your excessity is that you must give in to it right now. This lie says you do not have the capacity to be patient and to wait — and it would be foolish to even try.

Patience is optimistic expectation. The engine of patience is hope. Romans 5:3-4 is a wonderful passage that shows the connection between patience and hope: “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

Patience is based on the end, not the beginning. Ecclesiastes 7:8 says, “The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.” You won’t know that the end of the matter is better than the beginning if you’re not patient enough to get there.

Patience is based on the long view. The view of patience is not a few steps in front of us. The view of patience is out over the horizon, around the bend, through the hills and valleys of life. Patience is not thwarted by the immediate; it is sustained by the eventual. When you are assured of the eventual, you can patiently endure the immediate.

Patience is a wise response to life. This life is offensive in so many ways. People can be mean, cruel, and hurtful. Circumstances can be sudden, unpredictable, and damaging. We may feel as if we live under siege from something or someone most of the time. But patience provides a calm counterbalance to the frenzy of such a threat level. Proverbs 19:11 says, “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.”

Patience is a calm response to life. Patience is seen as a way to diffuse tension and calm an emotional storm. Proverbs 14:29 says, “A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.” And as Proverbs 15:18 says, “A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.” Excessities are often quick to strike within tense situations. They promise relief and reward in the midst of such emotional storms. Patience has a way of de-escalating the situation and reducing the pull of escape into an excessity.

Source: Chapter 8, “God Provides Patience” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc

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God Provides Patience: Lori’s Story

Sunday, September 12th, 2010

Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone. ~Prov. 25:15

In today’s society, we have come to expect the instantaneous, the rapid, the quick, the get-it-done-now. We are simply impatient people. We used to have a higher capacity for patience, but it keeps getting whacked off — primarily as a result of advances in technology. Cell phones, email, texting, and twittering create their own expectation momentum. What used to be considered just waiting now must be endured with patience. Patience really means being put off. Nobody likes being put off.

Excessities are at war with patience.

The Gotta Have It! cry of an excessity is generally followed by the unspoken command of Now! The longer you are required to wait, the louder that command becomes until it’s so shrill that it’s all you hear. The internal clamor of the excessity creates its own urgency. What was a desire becomes a ncessity. And a necessity deferred becomes an emergency. Once you’ve declared your own emergency, you have provided built-in justification for whatever measures are required to satisfy your Gotta Have It! At this point, patience is a hindrance, a barrier between you and your excessity.

LORI’S STORY

Lori didn’t like barriers to what she wanted. She never had.

she saw what she wanted so clearly and perceived her need so acutely, Lori took barriers personally. Her family learned it was never a good idea to get between Lori and something she wanted. They tended to scatter whenever she was in one of her “moods.” Her work subordinates learned to keep their heads down, their mouths shut, and their hands busy doing whatever Lori wanted.

Capable and driven, Lori was able to accomplish a great deal in a small amount of time. It was something she was known for and something she took a great deal of pride in.

If you asked Lori, she’d say she had a great deal of patience.

She would relate numerous occasions where she’d patiently endured the incompetence, inattention, and lack of caring of people around her. She could be patient long enough for the microwave to heat up her food. She could be patient long enough for her computer to boot up. She could be patient long enough for her gas tank to fill. These were Lori’s ideas of patience, and she bore them with stoic, if resentful, patience.

Then the ground underneath Lori shifted. Her husband was diagnosed with cancer, and Lori learned she really wasn’t patient after all. Cancer taught her how to wait. She had to wait for test results to be done. She had to wait for doctors and medical personnel to do their work. She had to wait for her husband’s strength to return after each agonizing round of chemotherapy or radiation. She had to wait for hope to return after each setback.

When it became clear he would not revcover, Lori had a decision to make.

Before, Lori had always traded time for results. Now, the only result time would yield was the loss of her husband. Before, Lori couldn’t wait for life to move fast enough. Now, all she wanted to do was slow it down. Before whatever was happening right now in Lori’s life was overshadowed by what could or would happen in the future, with what needed to be done. Lori’s life before was a relentless race from the now to the next.

With the next thing being the impending death of her husband, Lori’s life came to an abrupt halt.

She cut back at work so she could spend more time with him. As a result, she spent more time with her children, who desperately needed her. It was impossible for her to stop the clock, to slow the progression of the disease, to keep her husband alive longer. So instead, Lori learned to wring every possible drop of value and joy out of each moment they were together. She stopped being resentful of time and began to live within it.

Lori had always lived impatiently for what she wanted. Now, she learned to live patiently for what she didn’t.

Source: Chapter 8, “God Provides Patience” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc

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How to Claim Validation, Your Gift from God [2 of 2]

Monday, September 6th, 2010

There are times when it seems we have to stand alone and shout out our value to a deaf world. Those around us who should have joined in the chorus with loud and enthusiastic voices are either silent or murmuring a negative undercurrent. So often this happens when we’re most vulnerable — as children.

We take the silence of our parents or trusted adults as proof we are not worthy or special. We listen to their murmurs and turn up the volume until that din is all we can hear. Yet, deep in our hearts, we know this isn’t true; we know deep in our hearts this is somehow wrong and unfair.

Sometimes we are taught that it’s wrong to validate ourselves. Maybe you’ve been taught it’s boastful or prideful to love yourself. I remember sitting in Bible classes as a child and learning I was supposed to love myself last on a list that went something like God, others, self. It was as if there was only so much love to go around and you weren’t supposed to hoard it for yourself but rather give up your supply of love for everyone else. If you had any left over for yourself it was because you hadn’t given up enough to God or others.

I believe this is faulty reasoning. After all, doesn’t God say that you are to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Lev. 19:18)? Galatians 5:14 says that the entire law of God is summed up in that single command. And didn’t Paul in Ephesians 5:28-29 say that a man was to love his wife like he loved his own body, in the same way Christ loves His Church?

It seems to me that loving yourself is a fundamental principle of God. Loving yourself is not supposed to be subservient to the love of others; love of  self is the basis for love in others. This is why it is so important to be able to validate yourself as a person, created and loved by God, with intrinsic value and worth just for who you are.

Validation isn’t something to be earned; it is something to be claimed.

As an adult, I know that love isn’t a finite quantity. Love has no more boundaries and limitations than God does because God is love (1 John 4:8). Love is like the living water Jesus talked about to the woman at the well in John 4. There is an endless supply with plenty to go around.

Please know that God joins you in your validation. He’s the author of your worth and value, so why shouldn’t He shout it out with you? In The Message, Eugene Person translates Psalm 37:5-6 this way: “Open up before God, keep nothing back; he’ll do whatever needs to be done. He’ll validate your life in the clear light of day and stamp you with approval at high noon.”

RECOGNIZE, ILLUSTRATE, AND ESTABLISH SELF-WORTH

We’ve talked about recognizing your worth as a person. That’s just one of the components of validation. Validation also means to illustrate and establish.

Your actions to yourself illustrate your sense of self-worth. What you say is one thing; what you do is another. How you treat yourself, the attitudes you have about yourself, the forgivenss you show yourself, the love you have for yourself illustrate what is really true.

Once you recognize your value as a person, your need for the cheap clanging of outside excessities will fade. You need to illustrate the knowledge through action.

Source: Chapter 6, “Our Need for Validation” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc
 

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How to Claim Validation, Your Gift from God [1 of 2]

Saturday, September 4th, 2010

People who lack validation in their lives fail to understand their own value and worth. Without validation, it is difficult to have a concept of self-worth. Without an understanding of intrinsic value, a person will often look outside of self to find that validation. Instead of looking inside to anchor your belief in your value as a person, you hook that belief to the passing whims of circumstance, culture, and conditions.

Your belief in your value as a person can be ripped from you, leaving you grasping for the next handhold to come along. This was Megan’s life. Her hold on self-worth was only as strong as whatever relationship she was in. When that relationship ended, her sense of value as a person evaporated, leaving her frantic and desperate to begin another relationship. Within any relationship she had, she kept looking to the wrong party to anchor her sense of self.

She chose the person who always left instead of the person who was always there — Megan herself.

It is very easy to fall into the trap of thinking your worth as a person comes from what you do instead of who you are. It is also easy to see your worth as being reflected off others instead of shining out from inside. When you allow other people or outside situations to provide your validation, you make yourself hostage to them.

When we validate ourselves, we recognize our worth. Notice I didn’t say we generate our worth or create our worth or cause our worth. Each of us has a worth, a value that we did not generate, create, or cause for ourselves. This value is inherent in us as people; this value is a gift from God.

IT’S WHO YOU ARE, NOT WHAT YOU DO

Each person is unique, looked over and loved by God. One of my favorite psalms in Scripture is Psalm 139 because it speaks of the intimate and loving relationship God has with each one of us. God knows us as individuals, not just as an anonymous blob in the mass of humanity. He knows nour name and everything about us.

Jesus in Luke 12:6-7 explains that we have great value to God and that “the very hairs of [our heads] are all numbered” (v.7). Do you know yourself well enough to know how many hairs you have at any given time? This may seem like rhetorical hyperbole, but it is meant to illustrate that God, your loving Father, knows who you are.

God knows you and loves you, as you. Your value and worth as a person do not derive from what you do or who you’re in a relationship with. It doesn’t spring out of how much money you make or how attractive you are or how many times you can get an answer right. Your value is deeply rooted in your identity in God.

Genesis 1:27 clearly says that God made you in His image. You are, as Psalm 139:14 says, “fearfully and wonderfully made.” This isn’t talking about that part of you that comes directly from God, who verse 13 says crafted your creation.

God made you who you are and loves you for who you are. This is the bedrock foundati0n for self-worth. This is self-worth anchored in God; this is your special identity safe and protected in God’s hands. You can validate yourself by recognizing your worth in Him.

Source: Chapter 6, “Our Need for Validation” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc
 

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