Posts Tagged ‘Addictions’

Why Is Emotional Abuse So Damaging?

Thursday, February 16th, 2012

Emotional abuse is so damaging because it outlives its own life span. Not only does it damage a person’s self-esteem at the time it is done, it also sets up a life pattern that daily assaults the inner being. Present events and relationships are filtered through the negative messages and events of the past. Behavior is unknowingly modified to produce results consistent with the established life pattern. Through continued emotional assault, even a healthy life pattern can be subverted by an abusive one.

Damaging Effects of Emotional Abuse

  • When you view life as unstable, anxiety, tension, and fear result.
  • When you are constantly vigilant to the behavior of others, hypersensitivity and hostility result.
  • When you learn to second-guess yourself, confusion and feelings of disconnection result.
  • When nothing you do ever seems to be right, insecurity, guilt, and shame result.
  • When others tell you that you are always wrong, indecision and inaction result.
  • When you stop having the energy to fight it all, apathy and depression result.
  • When you have finally had it, rage results.
  • When you never seem to receive fairness, justice is all you think about.
  • When you have been hurt by those you love, love is viewed as a risk.
  • When living is painful, addictions are acceptable because they numb the pain.
  • When the mind is a jumble of emotional chaos, the body and its systems break down.
  • When your inner turmoil produces outer stress, your current relationships are endangered.
  • When you can’t control your negative emotions, you become the very person you hate.

So don’t ever let anyone tell you that emotional abuse isn’t damaging.

Affirmation Statement: My victory comes by building my self-esteem higher than the effects of emotional abuse. I confirm that each day I will rise above the abuse and choose actions that show I am able to love myself.

Click here to learn more about emotional abuse and get help if you need it.

The above is excerpted from Chapter 3 in Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse by Dr. Gregory Jantz.

Are Your Excessities Fueled By Anxiety?

Thursday, August 19th, 2010

Many of the people I work with are burdened by fear, worry, and anxiety affecting their ability to live productive and happy lives. These same feelings propel them headlong into excessities. Often, they are focsed on the negativity associated with their excessities, such as obesity or alcoholism or addiction to pornography. They want help to “just stop” whatever those things are that has taken control over their lives, as if those things were merely actions. It is a deeper issue, however, to work through their fear at the heart of those actions. Often, the source has been blown completely out of proportion. They are consumed with the what-ifs and what-abouts instead of recognizing the what-is.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, almost 7 million adults will experiencea condition known as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) in any given year. GAD is a chronic condition where a person lives with anxiety, worry, and tension, even when there is little outside reason for it. This fear is accompanied by a variety of physical symptoms, such as fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, muscle-aches, difficulty swallowing, trembling, twitching, irritability, sweating and hot flashes. It’s as if you’re all ready for the fight of your life but can’t really see who your enemy is. The true enemy is fear.

Generalized anxiety disorder falls under the category of anxiety disorders, which also includes panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, social phobia, and other phobias (such as agoraphobia).

As you read through explanations of each of these conditions, I’d like you to examine whether or not it is possible one or more of them are fueling some of your excessities. You don’t need to be officially diagnosed as having one of these disorders to be able to recognize whether or not somehting about it resonates with you. Carla wasn’t ever diagnosed as obsessive-compulsive, yet her extreme need to exercise contains some OCD components. Keep that in mind as you read these exclamations from the National Institute of Mental Health.

Panic Disorder — this debilitating condition is when a person is seized suddenly by intense feelings of terror, fear, and impending loss of control. It is accompanied by a racing heart, feeling sweaty, weak, faint, or dizzy, and is often interpreted by the person as a heart attack.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder — this is a condition where a person is plagued by incessant unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and/or repetitive behaviors (compulsions). The person often develops the repetitive behaviors as a way to guard against or mitigate the unwanted thoughts. The repetitive behaviors can include things like hand washing, counting, cleaning, or checking things. The person hopes  doing these rituals will prevent or guard against the obsessive thoughts. While doing the rituals provides temporary relief, not doing the rituals actually adds to the person’s anxiety.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder — this reaction is the result of a terrifying event or situation where the person experienced or expected to receive serious injury. The clarity o fthe danger is so real, so immediate, it continues to intrude into the person’s life — producing feelings of stress and panic — even when there is no longer any danger. It’s as if, once activated, their fight-or-flight response refuses to shut off, leaving them feeling numb and detached from life and those they love. They may also experience trouble sleeping.

Social Phobia — a person with a social phobia views social situations as battlefields, places of extreme danger. It affects fifteen million adult Americans in any given year. In social situations, they are terrified of being watched and judged by other people. sure they will in some way be humiliated or embarrassed. Eating around or speaking to other people is sheer torture.

Phobias — social phobias can lead to other phobias, such as agoraphobia. People with panic disorders can also develop agoraphobia, as they seek to avoid any situation or place that produced a panic attack in the past. Their list of “safe places” becomes smaller and smaller.

All of these conditions have at their base fear, worry, and anxiety. These can be hard taskmasters when acceded to and given control over your life. When those negative feelings take on larger-than-life proportions, they produce feelings of panic and dread even on a day when the sky is blue, the air is clean, and the sun is shining. The more feelings of panic they produce, the more apt you are to seek out behaviors that produce reassurance that all is well — or, at least, all is well for right now.

Excessities can become a close-your-eyes, plug-your-ears, sing-la-la-la-la-la activity to drown out the drumbeat of fear, worry, and anxiety.

Source: Chapter 4, “Our Need for Reassurance” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc
 
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Today On CNN Headline News: My Thoughts on Social Media Addiction

Friday, January 8th, 2010

As someone who has recently enmeshed myself and my work in the social media world, the topic I am discussing on CNN Headline News today is especially relevant for me: social media addiction.

Granted, I have yet to reach social media overload, but considering all the channels we have for networking with potentially thousands of friends and “followers” – on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, LinkedIn, MySpace and literally hundreds of other sites – it’s clear social media could easily monopolize your life. And it begs the question…

Can social media networking become an addiction if left unchecked?

The answer, my friends, is yes.

While the majority of people who use social media networking for fun or work strike just the right balance between virtual and real-life socializing, there are those among us who cross that line. It’s simply a matter of knowing who, what and why some are at risk, especially among teens and tweens.

Today on CNN Headline News I am speaking on the topic of Addiction 3.0 and The Facebook Detox:

  • Who’s at risk
  • Warning signs
  • Symptoms
  • Talking to your kids about it
  • How to regulate your kids’ accounts if you suspect a problem

As soon as I have a clip of the video segment I’ll post a link to it here. And on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube, and MySpace of course :-)

Dr. Gregory Jantz

Founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources

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