Archive for the ‘Self-Esteem’ Category

The Joy of Confident Living: Refuse to Quit!

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

At some point in our lives, we will find ourselves burned out, emotionally exhausted, depressed, distressed, and afraid ever to risk again.

Things don’t work out as we think they should. Intimate relationships come to an end. Friends and family die, leaving us at a loss. Our children listen to their own drummers and couldn’t care less about our core values. We lose our jobs, our courage, our time, our hair, and our confidence. We’ve all been there more times than we’d like to admit.

But the comforting news is that we are not alone, because this scourge of discouragement has plagued some of the most familiar names in history.

Consider these individuals and the challenges they faced:

  • Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because he “lacked ideas.” Disney went bankrupt several times before he developed a theme park now known as “the happiest place on earth.”
  • A diving accident in 1967 left Joni Eareckson Tada a quadraplegic. Gradually Joni discovered a personal joy and peace in God so powerful that her life now inspires thousands worldwide. A talented vocalist, aritst, and writer, she is a leading advocate for disabled persons.
  • An “expert” said of football great Vance Lombardi, “He possesses minimal football knowledge and lacks motivation.”
  • The mother and father of the famed opera singer Enrico Caruso wanted him to have a career in engineering. His teachers said he had no voice at all and simply could not sing.
  • Albert Einstein did not speak until he was four years old. He didn’t read until he was seven. His teacher described Albert as “mentally slow, unsociable, and adrift forever in his foolish dreams.” He was expelled and was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School.
  • Louisa May Alcott, author of Little Women, was told by her family that it might be best if she’d look for work as a servant or seamstress.
  • Jackie Robinson, grandson of a slave and abandoned at six years of age by his father, broke the color barrier in baseball and was voted the National League’s most valuable player in 1949.
  • John Bunyan, while languishing in an English prison for twelves years for preaching in non-sanctioned places, wrote Grace Abounding and Confessions of Faith and began formulating his major work, Pilgrim’s Progress.
  • Leo Tolstoy, author of War and Peace, failed college. His teachers considered him “both unable and unwilling to learn.”
  • Babe Ruth, arguably the greatest athlete of all time and famous for setting the home run record also held the record for most strikeouts.
  • Winston Churchill flunked sixth grade. He did not become prime minister of England until age sixty-two, and then only after a lifetime of defeats and missed opportunities. The greatest contributions he made to his country and the free world came when he was a senior citizen.
  • After Fred Astaire’s first screen test, the memorandum from the MGM testing director, dated 1933, read, “Can’t act. Slightly bald, Can dance a little.” Astaire kept that memo over the fireplace in his Beverly Hills home.

What made these people — most considered failures — persevere despite insurmountable odds? It wasn’t their education, their good looks, or, in most cases, even their IQ. It was something less tangible.

There was something different in their spirit that set them apart:

  1. They faced their fears, and conquered them.
  2. They stayed focused and flexible, and they had fun!
  3. They refused to give up on their dreams.
  4. They maintained a spirit of optimism.
  5. They though with their hearts.
  6. They used their stumbling blocks as stepping stones.

When you admit that most of you fears are homegrown, you can then make the decision to stop feeding them, pull them up by the roots, and regain control of your life.

SOURCE: Chapter 8: “The Joy of Confident Living” in How to De-Stress Your Life by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Finding a Common Purpose With a Perfect God

Friday, April 9th, 2010

Intimacy is enhanced by experiencing a common purpose. People at odds with each other are rarely able to achieve true intimacy on a deep emotional level. So how do you find a common purpose? It is difficult enough with couples who truly love each other.

We are so different from God, how can we achieve a common purpose?

The answer is through Christ. Listen to Paul, “If then there is any encouragement in Christ, any consolation from love, any sharing in the Spirit, any compassion and sympathy, make my joy complete: be of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind” (Philippians 2:1-2). Having the mind of Christ allows us to bridge the gap between our own wants and desires and the will of God.

Oh, we may want a common purpose with God, but often we ask God to agree to our purposes. Rick Warren says in the very beginning of his exceptional book, The Purpose Driven Life, “It’s not about you.” Finding a common purpose with God is all about God. You must trust him to know and understand the purposes that are perfectly suited for you. This requires obedience, an invaluable component of spiritual intimacy with God. Obedience keeps us in a love relationship with him. Jesus put it quite simply: “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15).

Does this mean that God no longer loves us when we are disobedient? Of course it doesn’t! What it does mean is that a continual, willful pattern of disobedience and disrespect is as harmful to your relationship with God as it would be to another person.

In Fresh Encounter, Henry Blackaby and Claude King deal with this concept of love and obedience. They write, “If you return to your first love, a love relationship with God, you will resolve the disobedience problem in your life.” Work on your loving relationship with God, and obedience will follow as a natural consequence.

We are not reaching for a perfect relationship with God; we’re reaching for a relationship with a perfect God. Don’t worry about trying to attain perfection; God’s already got that covered. Just work on getting to know and love him more each and every day. This spiritual intimacy will allow his Spirit to reach down into your deepest pain and bring healing to your life.

SOURCE: Chapter 6: “Spiritual Intimacy,” God Can Help You Heal by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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5 Steps to a Healthier You

Thursday, April 8th, 2010

When you say, “I care about myself, and I am becoming the person I was meant to be;  I like what God has created, and I am a person who is losing weight permanently,” then a wonderful world of self-acceptance begins to unfold. The book of ancient wisdom reminds us that as a person thinks in his heart, so he is. That’s a very old saying, but no less true today than when it was written.

Think good thoughts of yourself. Never put yourself down. What you think, you are. Your subconscious hears it all and believes it all. Treat it with respect. It is one of the most important parts of something called YOU.

Ultimately, all these positive thoughts can and should lead to positive action:

1. Change the way you eat. Eat a healthy breakfast every day and cut down on the fat in your diet. Engage in an activity you enjoy for 15 minutes each day. The only rule is to move your body. Start drinking water and eliminate all sodas and diet drinks. And put your scale away.  Do all this for 30 days, then weigh yourself.

2. Begin a confidential journal that describes your innermost feelings. In your journal or notebook, take a daily inventory about how you feel about the three deadly emotions that must be dealt with by people who lose weight permanently: anger, fear, and guilt. You are not writing an essay for anyone else. These are your personal expressions. Write on these areas for one month.

3. Begin using the proper dietary supplements (not diet pills) to help you nourish your body, which may have been too long deprived of proper nutrients. Choose supplements from a source that you trust. It’s important that these supplements are designed specifically for people in recovery. If you are under the care of a physician for a particular medical condition, check with him or her before beginning the supplements.

4. Examine your emotional health. Studies indicate that 80 percent of people with eating disorders have been a victim of some form of abuse. If you experienced abuse, it may have been verbal, sexual, emotional, or physical. Write down your thoughts on your past. How have past events pushed you toward food? How can you best deal with that past and join those who lose weight permanently? If your abuse was long-term or extreme, we strongly suggest you make an appointment with a professional counselor.

5. Read and listen. Fortunately, there are some great books and audio available to help you get on track to permanent weight loss through healthy, balanced nutrition. These are not diet materials, nor are they intended to foster guilt or create shame. I highly recommend:

Eat Smart, Think Smart by Robert Haas

The Psychology of Living Lean by Denis Waitley

Graham Kerr’s Kitchen by Graham Kerr

Thin Tastes Better by Stephen P. Gullo

Dr. Cookie Cookbook by Marvin A. Wayne, M.D.

Wellness Medicine by Robert A. Anderson

Of course, I also suggest the book from which the material for this blog post is drawn — my own book, Losing Weight Permanently: Secrets From the 2 Percent Club.

SOURCE: Chapter 6, “A Nutritional Plan that Really Works,” in Losing Weight Permanently by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Parenting Styles: 3 Types to Avoid

Wednesday, April 7th, 2010

In Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, Dr. John Gottman cautions against three types of parenting styles:

1) Dismissing parents, who marginalize their children’s emotions

2) Disapproving parents, who are critical of their children’s emotions

3) Laissez-faire parents, who accept whatever emotions their children display but set no limits for those displays

None of these styles positively integrates the natural emotions of children into healthy parenting. If you dismiss your children’s emotional states, you dismiss your children, and your ability to influence them diminishes also. If you constantly express disapproval of your children, you crush their spirit. They will either reject you or rebel against you. If you adopt an “anything goes” attitude toward your children’s emotions, you deny them the opportunity to learn to regulate their emotional states. None of these teaches your child emotional responsibility.

Children need to test out their emotions. They need to experience them, express them, and learn to deal with them. How you react emotionally is being observed and factored into this amazing learning process. I have dealt with innumerable people who were shut down emotionally by their parents as children. These individuals struggle for years and must retrace their childhood steps in order to get back on the right path emotionally. I have also dealt with people who were taught by example to express whatever emotion they felt in whatever way they chose. Their family and friends generally find them to be unsafe and abusive. These individuals also must learn anew how to relate to other people.

Don’t be afraid of your children’s emotions. Be alert to them. Learn from them, and model back to your children healthy emotional responses.

Ask God to help you personally integrate and model emotional responsibility.

SOURCE: Chapter 7, “R is for Responsible for My Emotions,” in Healthy Habits, Healthy Kid: A Practical Plan to Help Your Family by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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How to Identify Family Patterns of Emotional Abuse

Monday, April 5th, 2010

Some of the most destructive family patterns and perceptions come from abusive situations.

The devastation of physical and/or sexual abuse is overt and terrible. Less visible, but still harmful, is the emotional abuse that can result from imperfect family relationships. So much emotional abuse is caused by the negative, destructive messages communicated to children while growing up.

THINK ABOUT IT

Family members can perpetuate emotional abuse without recognizing the amount of harm being done. The intentions of adults in a family may not be to pass along negative responses to their children, yet through their own inability to control these responses, they set up a negative pattern for their children to follow. As children follow these patterns, the negative perceptions that accompany them become grounded in their lives.

Without ever being told, children develop a working model for life based upon the suspicion, insecurity, perfectionism, self-centeredness, frustration, or oppressive behavior of their parents. This model produces feelings of worthlessness, helplessness, and hopelessness, all of which suffocate optimism, hope, and joy.

You may have a background where abuse of this type, or worse, was evident in your family. It will not be difficult for you to pinpoint how these negative experiences have affected your ability to balance yourself emotionally. Or you may look back at your childhood and conclude your family can’t be a source of your depression, because you didn’t have an abusive experience.

Whatever your preconceived ideas may already be, take the time to truly examine the patterns you learned from your family.

As much as parents and adults try to minimize the damage done to their children through their own mistakes and faulty behaviors, it is not possible to completely eliminate negative influences. A careless comment or unkind remark can be enough to plant a seed in a child’s mind that grows into a poor perception.

This is not a search through your past to assign blame, but rather a mature look at the learned responses from your family to discover those that might be contributing to the strength and longevity of your depression. It is so important for you to be able to identify the burdens from past relationships that may be slowing down your rate of recovery. Once you discover these hindrances, you will be equipped to develop an effective plan for moving forward.

WRITE IT DOWN

Use the following statements as a starting point for writing down your recollections:

  • Good things my family taught me about life
  • Negative things my family taught me about life
  • Good things my family taught me about myself
  • Negative things my family taught me about myself

It is important for you to remember the good and positive responses to life you learned growing up. Most likely, your experiences with your family will be a mixed bag of good and bad, positive and negative, uplifting and deflating. While you want to be cognizant of the negative, don’t forget to highlight positive things you learned. For each negative life response, write a new positive one. These will help you celebrate the good patterns your family has brought to you.

You might want to write down the members of your immediate family — parents, siblings, and grandparents. (If you have nontraditional family experiences, use those individuals you consider to be significant mentors.) Think about how you related to each of these family members and what you learned about yourself from them. How did they treat you? What were some ways they hurt you? What were some ways they made you feel valuable and special?

Remember that negative responses may come easier than the positive ones. Be patient and allow the positive ones to rise to the surface of your memory.

Write at least three examples of both negative and positive statements that you remember your family member saying to you. Feel free to write down more as they come to you.

MOVE FORWARD

As you recover from depression, you may find that your circle of support will not come from members of your family. It may be necessary for you to use other relationships to provide the support you need. Your family may be too close to objectively  view your recovery. Members of your family may not be prepared to accept the truth you’ve uncovered through this process. Don’t allow their lack of acceptance to deter you in seeking the truth.

The goal is not to protect the family; the goal is to recapture a life filled with optimism, hope, and joy. If you need to discard flawed family patterns and perceptions, it is your perogative as an adult to do so.

Are you depressed? Though no replacement for a formal diagnosis,  this survey can help you recognize the signs.

SOURCE: Chapter 5, “Family Dynamics,” in Moving Beyond Depression by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Want to Lose Weight? Increase Your Activity Level Just 10 Percent Each Month

Thursday, April 1st, 2010

People who lose weight permanently make small, daily steps toward their goal because they know that inch by inch, virtually anything is possible. Once you decide what your activity level will be, I encourage you to simply increase it by 10 percent per month. You’ll be amazed at your progress within only a few weeks.

Once you make this commitment to increase your activity level slowly and gently, you will find you’ve made a major paradigm shift from compulsive overexercising, where exercise is the master, to where you and you alone are in control. Once you decide which activity you choose to do, then you will do it, because you decided. If you do not enjoy it, your activity will become a duty, which will lead to guilt, depression, anger, and ultimately fear. And we are not into fear.

Try using the following affirmations by reading them aloud two to three times a day or more. They are your ticket to reshaping your mind-set as you reshape your body in a natural, pleasing, effective way.

AFFIRMATIONS

1. God made me an active and alive human being. I enthusiastically believe this as I enjoy my life to its fullest.

2. My body was created to move, not sit still. That’s why I engage in one activity at least 15 minutes a day. I am happy there are no rules for this activity.

3. I am excited about my balanced schedule of activity. I feel good about myself just knowing that I’m making progress.

4. I’m delighted that I can be active without weighing myself. The scale used to be my judge, jury, and executioner. Now I simply enjoy life.

5. I now know that permanent weight loss is an inside job. I make no demands of my exercise routine. It’s simply an important part of maintaining my emotionally healthy life.

6. I believe the words of the ancient prophet Jeremiah who said, “For I know the plans I have for you…they are plans for good and not for evil to give you a future and a hope.” I believe this with all my heart and soul.

7. I have made a decision to join the growing ranks of people who lose weight permanently. I am increasing my activity level 10 percent each month, and my body is responding with a resounding THANK YOU!

8. My attitude is my choice. I can enjoy my daily activity for its sheer enjoyment. I am choosing a healthy positive attitude about my daily success.

People who lose weight permanently no longer spend their time thinking about food, their bodies, exercise, competition, or comparing their progress with others. Their new, liberated mind-set gives them — as it will give you — the time to do the really important things in life!

SOURCE: Chapter 5, “From Guilt Cycle to Bicycle,” in Losing Weight Permanently: Secrets of the 2 Percent Club by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Are You Doing Too Much, Or Too Little? How Activity Level Causes Depression

Monday, March 22nd, 2010

Over the years it is possible for the activities and responsibilities of life to layer, each on top of the others. The combined weight of all these activities and responsibilities can be crushing. One of the first steps in taking stock of your life is to look at what you are doing.

Depression can occur when your activities are out of balance in the following ways:

  • You have too many activities, and the sum of them outweighs their individual value. When you’ve got too many things going collectively, you’re too busy to enjoy any of them individually.
  • You have many activities but too few worthwhile ones. When the sum of your activities is draining, it interferes with the worthwhile ones.
  • You have too few activities in your life. When your biggest activity is inactivity, you rob yourself of the stimulation and engagement of purpose and people.

If you have developed a pattern of tying self-worth to activity, you may find it difficult to let go of some of the things you are dong. If you have developed a pattern of believing in your own incompetence, taking on new pursuits may frighten you with their potential for failure. If you have developed a pattern of being afraid of making mistakes, an honest appraisal of why you are engaging in an activity may be uncomfortable because of needed changes it might reveal.

ALTERING PERCEPTIONS

Your life patterns are the result of your perception or view of life and what you believed would happen. They are often forged in childhood. Once you understand your personal life patterns, you will be better equipped to discover certain perceptions and expectations that led you to either negative or positive actions.

If you have the perception that your life is always supposed to be smooth sailing, the inevitable ups and downs can cause great anxiety. Down times are not put into proper perspective, because you don’t consider them to be legitimate in your life. Down times are supposed to happen to other people but not to you. If you are unprepared to deal with these down times, then confusion, frustration, and depression can result.

If you have the perception that you don’t deserve to be happy, you will filter the events of your life to make sure you aren’t content. Good things will be met with suspicion, and bad things will be welcomed as old friends.

If you have the perception that the only way for you to be safe is to be in control, you will have a heightened sense of anxiety over life events. Since people are rarely in total control over their environment, and never in control of other people, this perception leaves a persistent, nagging feeling of insecurity. This perpetual sense of unease can lead to anxiety and depression.

By acknowledging negative perceptions, you can move forward toward a view of life that is neither unrealistically rosy nor unrelentingly gray. Acknowledging your pace, patterns, and perceptions allows you to control and alter them to support your optimism, hope, and joy, even when life throws you a curve.

Are you depressed? Though no replacement for a formal diagnosis,  this survey can help you recognize the signs.

SOURCE: Chapter 4, “Living Life On Purpose,” in Moving Beyond Depression by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Turning Negatives Into Postives: Mark’s Story

Friday, March 19th, 2010

Mark’s marriage ended badly. He fought it, kicking and screaming, until his wife made it quite clear she no longer wanted anything to do with him. She was done with him and the marriage. It didn’t matter how much he still loved her; she no longer loved him. She couldn’t even stand to be anywhere near him. There was someone else, and she wanted that relationship more than she wanted him. She was finished, and for a time, Mark thought he was, too.

Nothing made sense anymore. Mark couldn’t understand what he’d done wrong or why someone who had once loved him could come to hate him so much.

Had she ever really loved him at all?

How could he have been so blind?

For a long time after the divorce, Mark didn’t want to see anyone. His friends had been their friends, and some were now only her friends. With a morbid fascination, he tried to keep up with what she was doing. That ended when he found out she’d married again. She was moving on with her life, and Mark couldn’t seem to get on with his. What right did she have to be happy when she’d made him absolutely miserable? It wasn’t fair.

A good friend finally took Mark aside and told him it was time to let his ex-wife go.

While they were married, he had held on to her out of love. Since the divorce, he had held on to her out of anger. He needed to let her go — to let the anger go. It was like a breath of fresh air sweeping over Mark’s heart when he found the strength to forgive her and move on.  He decided he was not going to concentrate on those last ten months but on the five years before that when he’d been happy. He realized he was grateful to her for helping him develop an understanding of love. Ultimately, she threw it away, but Mark found he was ready to reclaim it.

With this renewed confidence in his ability to give and receive love, Mark was ready to put the past behind him and embrace the future.

FILL YOURSELF UP WITH GOOD THINGS

The pain of this world can produce so much that is negative, but God is able to take those negatives and turn them into positives. Ask God to help you clean out the old, negative spaces, so you’ll have room for the renewing attributes of a healed, redeemed life:

  • Let joy take the place of anger
  • Let confidence take the place of fear
  • Let peace take the place of guilt
  • Let mercy take the place of blame
  • Let pride take the place of shame

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” ~Galatians 5:22

SOURCE: Chapter 4: “Gratitude,” God Can Help You Heal by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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What You Think is What You Are: Feeding Your Subconscious Mind

Thursday, March 18th, 2010

The philosopher Jose Ortega y Gassett once wrote, “Tell me to what you pay attention, and I will tell you who you are.”

The subconscious mind never stops working, never gets tired, and never says no to any input it receives from you. It believes everything it hears and trusts everything you say or feel. It even responds to your most innocent thoughts, especially those thoughts which are highly emotionalized with either faith or fear. It is even more susceptible to repetitive thoughts (Remember: “Tell me to what you pay attention, and I will tell you who you are.”)

Your mind cannot distinguish fact from desire. That’s why daily affirmations are so effective. Try these:

1) I can lose all the weight I want, and still keep my cherished values.

2) I now believe that weight loss = power = sexual energy = fear + guilt, BUT emotional health = weight loss = physical vitality.

When you say, “I care about myself, and I am becoming the person I was meant to be; I like what God has created, and I am a person who is losing weight permanently,” then a wonderful world of self-acceptance begins to unfold.

The book of ancient wisdom reminds us that as a person thinks in his heart, so he is.

That’s a very old saying, but no less true today than when it was written. Thank good thoughts of yourself. Never put yourself down. What you think, you are. Your subconscious hears it all and believes it all. Treat it with respect. It is one of the most important parts of something called you.

SOURCE: Chapter 4, “The Dance of Sex and Weight,” in Losing Weight Permanently: Secrets of the 2 Percent Club by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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How Brad Learned to SOAR: O is for Optimism

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

Brad came to work with us at The Center as a young man in his twenties. He was struggling with self-esteem issues that translated into a dependence upon alcohol. Unable to hold a job, he continued to live at home, making constant demands upon his parents. These demands drained their emotional and financial resources and alienated him from the rest of his siblings. Everyone in the family, including extended family living nearby, seemed to have tried to help Brad but was burned in the process. Many family members had already given up on him, deeming him beyond help and not worth another chance. Others saw our mental health and chemical dependency treatment agency as his last chance.

We were able to address and treat Brad’s reliance upon alcohol as well as work with him to uncover the roots of his addiction. Brad’s answers and demeanor began to reveal that his drinking was fueled not by an attraction to alcohol but by repulsion from something else. Brad had turned to alcohol due to some pain he was attempting to self-medicate and numb. As we worked with him to dig deeper, we helped him discover how and when his world had turned upside down and he had lost his horizon line of hope.

Most people know the half empty/half full glass analogy. It goes something like this; when people look at a glass containing liquid up to the middle, some will see the glass as half empty and some will see the glass as half full. Those who see it as half empty are pessimists, and the half full people are optimists. I’ve used this analogy as a way to illustrate to clients how subtle perceptions can alter their worldview. When they look at the glass, they’re actually seeing their own reactions to life.

Now, when Brad’s parents looked at Brad, they expected to see a completely full glass. After all, they were prosperous, hard-working people themselves, and they could envision nothing less than a full glass for Brad at all times. Sometime around Brad’s early adolescence, however, his parents began to perceive that Brad’s glass was less than full, for he began to operate below their expectations. In their minds, they had worked hard to fill Brad’s glass all the way to the brim, and Brad kept behaving and performing in a way that made the contents of that full glass spill out. This produced feelings of frustration, anger, and disappointment in his parents.

The only optimism they had for Brad’s future was centered not around what Brad was capable of achieving on his own but rather on what they had provided. He was expected to mirror their success — a success that mirrored their definition. Brad’s future was not really about him and actually about them.

Somewhere around 15 years of age, Brad decided he wasn’t capable — that his glass without his parents refilling it was actually completely empty. He turned to alcohol to stem the growing fear and anxiety of reaching adulthood.

Now, I believe that everyone is responsible for their own behavior, especially as they arrive at adulthood. In fact, the R in SOAR is all about responsibility. But as we identified this pattern of behavior between Brad and his parents, what became clear to me was their total lack of belief in a bright future for Brad — as Brad. He certainly didn’t have it, and neither did his parents.

The only thing the three seemed able to initially agree on was a paralyzing fear of what Brad’s future held.

Because of their own achievements, Brad’s parents couldn’t see the true horizon line when they looked at Brad. They kept looking inward at themselves and refused to see Brad for who he was. As his struggles with life increased in adolescence, they began to avoid really looking at Brad at all. It was too painful, for they truly loved their son, but when they looked at Brad’s failures, they caught a glimpse of their own.

What this family desperately needed was a restored vision of optimism and hope for the future. Brad’s parents needed to believe in God’s power to help Brad overcome his drinking. Brad needed to trust God’s plan for his life and stop fearing the future. They all needed to grasp God’s grace and learn to forgive each other. Fortunately, they’ve been able to heal and reestablish their relationships, but it took years of diverted time and energy to bring their family back on the right track.

I applaud your decision to put your energies into your family now!

SOURCE: Chapter 3, “O is for Optimism,” in Healthy Habits, Healthy Kid: A Practical Plan to Help Your Family by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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