The Role of Hope In Being Happy

Posted on December 29, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

Hope isn’t really a happy emotion. Hope is not necessarily a giddy, bubbly, effervescent, here-and-now emotion. It’s something much more complex, a response firmly based in the certainty of an unseen future. The dictionary defines hope as expecting with confidence. The verb expecting clearly indicates the outcome is in the future. Because the outcome lies in the future, it is not visible in the present.

Romans 8:24 says, “But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?” Hope is expecting with confidence something you can’t see yet. It’s a bit like the explanation of faith in Hebrews 11:1: “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

Hope, then, is not a reaction based upon an experienced present but a response based upon an expected future. In this way, hope is like delayed gratification. You may not be experiencing in the present what you want, but you respond to those circumstances based upon what you expect to come to pass in the future. You expect to experience gratification, understanding it’s not going to come instantly but rather at some point in the future. You are willing to wait because you expect with confidence that waiting will prove beneficial. In the same way, when things aren’t going the way you want, you have to be willing to hope.

Hope, like delayed gratification, is a mature response to life. Listen to the progression, the maturation process:

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. ~Romans 5:3-5

In some ways, hope has its most important work as a response to problems and struggles. Hope is the watchword of Old Testament people like Job and Jeremiah, and of David. Each of them experienced hope in the most profound way during times of great distress and personal turmoil.

It is hope, perhaps, most of all, that anchors you deep into the positive and allows you to weather times of drought and storm.

The Book of Job is one of unremitting suffering. God allows Satan to remove from Job all of the things in this life you would normally ascribe to being happy: wealth, possessions, and family. In the span of a single day, all of that is wiped out. What is Job’s response to this utter destruction of his livelihood and his children?

According to Job 1:20-21, he worshiped and praised God, saying, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” This is an amazing, mature response to calamity!

The Book of Jeremiah is one of calamity and destruction. It outlines the destruction of Judah by the Babylonians. Jeremiah prophesied about this destruction. He repeatedly tries to alert the people and various kings to the coming catastrophe, but to no avail. It is a book filled with despair and destruction. Yet, it is also a book of hope and future, as Jeremiah 29:11 (my theme verse) says: ” ‘For I now the plans I have for you,’ declaresthe Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ ” Even in the midst of destruction, God was already promising His future restoration to Jeremiah.

Jeremiah goes on to write the Book of Lamentations, a poetic recitation of the destruction of Jerusalem. Do you remember the verses I mentioned earlier from Lamentations? “I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail” (Lamentations 3:20-22). Jeremiah could look around him, in the face of a vast array of destruction, and have hope. so, what was Jeremiah hoping for?

David was annointed by God to be the king of Israel. When you think of a king, you probably think of palaces and power, feasting and fealty. That’s not exactly what David experienced. When God chose David to be king, there was already a king in Israel named Saul. Saul, needless to say, wasn’t thrilled about the change in leadership. His response? He set out to hunt David down and kill him. This failed, of course, and David was eventually declared king over Israel. It lasted a little while; long enough for his own sons to grow and rise up against him.

David spent a great deal of his time hiding out, running from enemies, and dodging assassination attempts. Being persecuted in this way could have caused David to be a very pessimistic person. Yet, David writes beautifully of his hope in the psalms: May my accusers perish in shame; may those who want to harm me be covered with scorn and diswgrace. But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more” (Psalm 71:13-14).

David, Jeremiah, and Job all chose to hope for God to provide a positive future.

Hope is not a rejection of your present circumstance. On the contrary, it is an acceptance of it. For example, this is what is said of Abraham, concerning God’s promise that he would have a child in his old age: “Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, ‘So shall your offspring be.’ Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead — since he was about a hundred years old — and that Sarah’s womb was also dead” (Romans 4:18-19).

I really like that verse.

Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed. Without weakening his faith, he faced the rality of his situation and still chose hope. Again, hope is not a rejection of your present circumstances. Paradoxically, as God often works, hope is strengthened in its quality by your present, hopeless circumstances. After all, if the outcome was something you could see or already had, it wouldn’t be hope, would it?

SOURCE: Chapter 11, “The Role of Hope in Being Happy,” in Happy for the Rest of Your Life by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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Wisdom’s Plan of Action

Posted on September 24, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

Solomon didn’t write a book full of flowery platitudes and wouldn’t-it-be-nice-if statements. Instead, it is a very practical book, full of situations and circumstances with present-day, right-now applications. One of those applications is found in Proverbs 2:1-11, where Solomon provides a series of action steps for the reader to take to begin to incorporate wisdom into is or her life. I believe these steps are applicable to gaining wisdom and overcoming an excessity:

My son, if you accept my words

and store up my commands within you,

turning your ear to wisdom

and applying your heart to understanding,

and if you call out for insight

and cry aloud for understanding,

and if you look for it as for silver

and search for it as for hidden treasure,

then you will understand the fear of the LORD

and find the knowledge of God.

For the Lord gives wisdom,

and from his mouth comes knowledge and

understanding.

He holds victory in store for the upright,

he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,

for he guards the course of the just

and protects the way of his faithful ones.

Then you will understand what is right and just

and fair — every good path.

For wisdom will enter your heart,

and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.

Discretion will protect you,

and understanding will guard you.

THE STEPS

Step 1: Accept the truth and store up God’s word.

Step 2: Be careful what you listen to and apply.

Step 3: Ask for help.

Step 4: Keep your eyes open and believe.

Step 5: Consider the source.

Step 6: Trust God to protect you.

Step 7: Know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Step 8: Claim the prize.

There is a prize that awaits this search for wisdom. The prize is wisdom itself, along with knowledge, discretion, and understanding. God is not in the carrot-dangling business. There is a finish line to wisdom He means for you to cross, even if He has to carry over it Himself.

Source: Chapter 11, “How God Provides Wisdom” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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What Patience Is, and What It’s Not

Posted on September 14, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

The world does not see patience as a position of strength but rather as a position of weakness, of wanting, of lack. Powerful people don’t have to wait; powerless people do. This is a fundamental misunderstanding of patience. Patience allows you to take back control over a capricious and unstable world and plant that control firmly within yourself.

Patience does not give you the power over circumstances; patience allows you to control yourself in the midst of circumstances.

Because of the misconceptions about patience I’ve run into over the years as I’ve helped people develop the capacity for patience in their lives, I’d like to go over some of the realities and truths of patience.

Patience is not apathy. Apathy is a lack of interest or concern. Being patient does not mean disengaging or disconnecting from your feelings or emotions. Being patient means accepting both how you feel about a given situation and what you can realistically do about it.

Patience is not surrender. A decision to exercise patience is not the equivalent of waving the white flag. When you surrender, you place yourself under the control of the situati0n and remove yourself from the equation. Patience is not surrendering your power to the circumstance; patience is redeploying that power back to you.

Patience is not static. Thre is a misconception that patience, or the act of waiting, is just sitting there, doing nothing. In this, patience is a little like sleep. When we’re sleeping, it can appear that we’re doing nothing — we’re just sleeping. Sleep, however, is a highly dynamic process where the body is actively engaged in repairing itself. The mind is filtering and collating and processing the events of the day. In the same way patience is an active time of remembering, reexamining, and recommitting to those things you know are true. Patience, like sleep, is the act of preparing for the new day to come.

Patience is not impossible. One of the biggest lies of your excessity is that you must give in to it right now. This lie says you do not have the capacity to be patient and to wait — and it would be foolish to even try.

Patience is optimistic expectation. The engine of patience is hope. Romans 5:3-4 is a wonderful passage that shows the connection between patience and hope: “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

Patience is based on the end, not the beginning. Ecclesiastes 7:8 says, “The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.” You won’t know that the end of the matter is better than the beginning if you’re not patient enough to get there.

Patience is based on the long view. The view of patience is not a few steps in front of us. The view of patience is out over the horizon, around the bend, through the hills and valleys of life. Patience is not thwarted by the immediate; it is sustained by the eventual. When you are assured of the eventual, you can patiently endure the immediate.

Patience is a wise response to life. This life is offensive in so many ways. People can be mean, cruel, and hurtful. Circumstances can be sudden, unpredictable, and damaging. We may feel as if we live under siege from something or someone most of the time. But patience provides a calm counterbalance to the frenzy of such a threat level. Proverbs 19:11 says, “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.”

Patience is a calm response to life. Patience is seen as a way to diffuse tension and calm an emotional storm. Proverbs 14:29 says, “A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.” And as Proverbs 15:18 says, “A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.” Excessities are often quick to strike within tense situations. They promise relief and reward in the midst of such emotional storms. Patience has a way of de-escalating the situation and reducing the pull of escape into an excessity.

Source: Chapter 8, “God Provides Patience” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc

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In Money We Trust? What the Bible Says About Wealth

Posted on August 28, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

“In God We Trust” has been engraved on our coins since 1864. Somewhere in the intervening years, however, it seems we’ve shifted from trust in God to trust in the coin itself. This isn’t a recent phenomenon; it’s been happening for a long time.

King Solomon, in his book of wisdom known as Proverbs, puts it this way:

“The wealth of the rich is their fortified city; they imagine it an unscalable wall” (Prov. 18:11).

There are many people today for whom wealth is their unscalable wall. They truly believe if they acquire enough of it, build up a high enough wall of it, the cares and concerns of the world will not be able to climb over. The problem, of course, lies in the fact that cares and concerns have very creative ways of mounting siege ramps against the walls of wealth and breach even the highest parapets. Insecurities also find ways to tunnel under the strongest edifices.

Money, quite simply, is not a secure thing to put your trust in. Again, from Proverbs:

“Do not wear yourself out to get riches, and have the wisdom to show restraint. Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky like an eagle” (23:4-5).

Money is a fluid, dynamic entity, and its worth is based upon factors out of the control of most people. A person’s wealth can be made and lost within a single year.

How many people have won millions of dollars on a lottery one year, only to wind up losing it all within a short span of time? How many people put their trust in the wealth they committed to Bernie Madoff, only to lose every cent in his billion-dollar Ponzi scheme? Money is not an appropriate place to look for security.

Money can be made and even more money made … and still not enough. This is especially true if money and acquiring money have become an excessity.

Revisit the Solomon quote in Ecclesiastes:

“Whoever loves money, never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless” (Eccl. 5:10).

Solomon was the wealthiest person of his day, above all the other kings on earth. He was incredibly wealthy and incredibly wise. He knew that wealth and acquiring wealth can become a black-hole, Gotta Have It! excessity. Perceiving money as security can create an obsession with money and the things money can buy. And because money can, quite frankly, buy a great deal, there is a tendency to assign it more power than it’s due; there is a tendency to trust it more than is wise.

Money is not permanent because it can be lost in a blink of an eye (or in the crash of the stock market, or in the devaluation of currency, or through theft or malfeasance or cooked books). It is not permanent in the here and now, and it’s absolutely irrelevant in the hereafter. Money can get you some tract when you’re alive, but it is useless to you when you’re dead:

“Do not be overawed when a man grows rich, when the splendor of his house increases; for he will take nothing with him when he dies, his splendor will not descend with him” (Ps. 49:16-17).

In cruder, present-day language: The hearse doesn’t come with a trailer.

Money promises to provide security, but it often creates the opposite:

“A man’s riches may ransom his life, but a poor man hears no threat” (Prov. 13:8).

The more stock you set in the things you have, including money and things money can buy, the greater the threat of losing it all. Those who have much have much to lose. Those with little, sleep under a lesser threat of loss and can feel more secure.

Money can be a source of security, but it can also be a source of heartburn:

“The sleep of a laborer is sweet, whether he eats little or much, but the abundance of a rich man permits him no sleep” (Eccl. 5:12).

If you put all your security eggs in the money basket, then you must perpetually worry about eggs breaking and losing both.

Source: Chapter 5, “Our Need for Security” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc

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The Role of Comfort as Defined by God

Posted on August 10, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

In the New International Version of the Bible, the word comfort appears 72 times. Interestingly enough, the word discomfort only appears once. In Jonah 4:6, it says, “Then the Lord God provided a vine and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the vine.”

Two things to note in this verse:

One, it says “ease his discomfort” not eradicate it; and, two, even easing discomfort can produce feelings of happiness. Yet, ease from discomfort is fleeting — as evidenced in the very next verse, when God causes a worm to come and chew the vine and kill it, leaving Jonah out of shade and back in discomfort. God uses this whole discomfort-vine-worm scenario to teach Jonah something about himself.

When God took away the vine, which was so comforting to Jonah, Jonah became very angry. God used this as a way to show Jonah his misplaced priorities. Jonah was very concerned about the vine and about his own comfort. He was more concerned, in fact, about his own physcial condition than he was about the spiritual condition of 120,000 souls in the city of Nineveh.

Jonah, refusing to do what God wanted, rushed into the desert to pout and wound up angry because the desert is a place where there is little food, little water, little vegetation, and a whole lot of sun. Perhaps some of the discomfort we find in our own lives comes not from some worldly conspiracy against us but from the natural consequence of our own decisions. Like with Jonah, God may use our discomfort to teach us how to make better decisions next time and avoid that particular discomfort in the future.

According to Scripture, there is a real need for comfort in life because there is real pain in life. Here are a few of examples where comfort is needed:

Because of a hard life of work and toil (Gen. 5:29)
Because of the death of a loved one (Gen. 24:67 and many others)
Because of prejudice and oppression (Ruth 2:13, Eccl. 4:1)
Because of physical illness (Job 7:13)
Because of catastrophic life circumstances (Ps. 23:4; Isa. 51:19)
Because of a broken heart (Ps. 69:20; Jer. 8:18)
Because of suffering (Ps.119:50)

Comfort lies at the heart of God Himself. He is the originator of comfort, knowing and understanding the pain and suffering that have come into this world. Thas was never His plan, but comfort — true comfort — is one of His solutions.

His plan is found in 2 Corinthians 1:3-7, in which the word comfort is used nine times:

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

Some of the suffering of others I have observed over the years makes no sense to me at all. I cannot find any reason for it, and it has at times stretched my belief in a caring and compassionate God. But so often I have been comforted in that doubt by the very people who suffered so. By sharing their sufferings, they arrive at a place of comfort. Because of the incomprehensible nature of this interaction between comfort and suffering, I know it is the work of God.

Source: Chapter 3, “Our Need for Comfort” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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The Bottom Line From Job

Posted on June 8, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

The Old Testament book of Job is a story about a man who faced the question of what is a desire and what is a need. This man, Job, is literally stripped of all of the things that made up his life. It is not an easy book to read or understand, but it’s very instructive in determining desires versus needs.

At the beginning of the book God and Satan have a discussion about Job, and God agrees to allow Satan to test Job’s commitment to God. In the first test, God allows Satan to take away all of Job’s possessions, including his children, but doesn’t allow him to harm Job physically. In the course of a single day, all of Job’s livestock, sheep, camels, servants, and children are killed or taken away fron him.

At the end of this single day, Job still praises God.

Not to be deterred, Satan comes again and this time asks to remove Job’s health from him. God agrees but says Satan may not take his life. Satan promptly strikes Job with painful boils from head to foot.

God establishes the bottom line with Satan where Job is concerned. Throughout the book of Job, no matter what else happens to him, Job has his physical needs met enough for him to continue to live. Job’s desires for understanding, vindication, relief, and restoration have to wait. With nearly everything taken away from him, it becomes clearer to see what constitutes a true need. In our own lives, we need that kind of clarity.

SOURCE: Chapter 1, “The Power of Want,” in Gotta Have It! by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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7 Ways to Instill Faith In Your Children

Posted on April 21, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

In 1 Timothy 1:2, the apostle Paul acknowledged his role as Timothy’s father in the faith. He did this by allowing Timothy to be privy to the intimate details of his own faith. He wasn’t secretive or restrained but instead openly and honestly demonstrated his faith and encouraged Timothy to emulate the good he saw.

This is your charge for your children.

Be open and honest and encourage your children to emulate the positive in your own life. Be transparent also about the bad, and model to your children how to ask for and accept forgiveness. Your children need the spiritual gifts of prayer life, a study life, a family life, and a life of service in the Lord. Each will be a tremendous spiritual blessing and will fortify your children for the rest of their lives:

1. Through Prayer. Children are natural prayers. The prayer of a child pours out faith, hope, and love: faith in a Father who hears, hope for an answer, and the love of a trusting child.

2. Through the Word. The Bible is active, alive, and effective. Ultimately, you will want to transfer your love and reliance upon Scripture to your child. After all, a time will come when you are no longer accessible to your child; God’s Word lasts forever and is an inexhaustible resource of knowledge, hope, and insight for your child today, tomorrow, and forever.

3. Through a Spiritual Family Life. Take your child to church. Allow your child to be taught by other godly adults and experience the joys of corporate worship. Strengthen your child with the knowledge that he or she is not alone in their faith.

4. Through a Life of Service. Your children need the spiritual gift of a life of service in God. This is your child’s true purpose in life, regardless of what he or she does for job or career or avocation.

5. Overcoming Spiritual Hurt. Unfortunately, some have experienced hurt at the hands of a church or religious group. However, if this has happened to you it is for the good of your child and your family to take steps to move beyond that painful experience and reconnect with a healthy body of believers.

6. Holy Ground. What type of soil are you providing for your child’s spiritual growth? Is it a soil packed down hard, where seeds of faith can hardly take root and are vulnerable to hungry opportunists? Or is it a good soil, rich in spiritual nutrients and cleared of spiritual obstacles, which allow your child’s faith to flower and blossom, to put down deep roots and multiply?

7. Encourage Spiritual Gifts. Think of at least one way you can encourage each one of the following gifts in your life: a prayer life, a study life, a spiritual family life, and a life of service. Make a plan to integrate these into your family life within the next month.

Simply put, in all these areas of responsibility, you set up the pattern for your child. Scripture even promises, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it” (Prov. 22:6).

Your child needs to internalize this good news that his life has meaning and purpose in God’s kingdom.

SOURCE: Chapter 9, “R is for Responsible for My Faith,” in Healthy Habits, Healthy Kid: A Practical Plan to Help Your Family by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Connections: The Healing Touch of Relationships

Posted on April 16, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

What happens when you get your hand too close to a flame? Instantly, you draw your hand back. It’s immediate. It’s reactive. You get as far away from the source of the pain as you can. This reaction to physical pain is natural. And it also can be our reaction to emotional pain.

When emotionally wounded, we tend to draw back into ourselves. We become suspicious of other people. We even become suspicious of our own motives and decisions. And so, we withdraw from people.

As a result, left alone in our pain, we are cut off from the healing touch that comes from our relationships.

In the first book of the Bible, God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2″18). He was speaking in the context of the marriage relationship, but our need for connection is there, outside of marriage as well. We need extended family and good friends. Our connection to other people builds a closely knit community, and within the context of community, we are able to provide for the needs of others and to receive help for our own needs.

Why is it that just when we need people the most, we tend to withdraw ourselves? I believe there are several reasons, which either individually or in combination reinforce our belief that it’s better for us to be alone with our pain:

We think others won’t understand what we’re going through

We’re distrustful of others because of what we’ve suffered

We’re unwilling to forgive those who have added to our pain

We’re so depleted that we think we have nothing to give to another person

We don’t believe we deserve to be loved again

In each of the beliefs above, there is an element of truth. Yet it is only partial truth. Let’s look at each of these beliefs, expanding our understanding so we can see them from a broader perspective. Ultimately, the truth is that we need others. If we are not able to embrace that truth, we sentence ourselves to the torment of solitary confinement. Invariably, we hurt ourselves even more.

SOURCE: Chapter 7: “Connections,” God Can Help You Heal by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Spiritual Intimacy Through Christ: God’s Healing Balm of Life

Posted on April 2, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

We are told that God is a giver of good things to us, including Jesus.

God does not condemn us, rather he justifies us.

Further, we are reminded that Christ, who took our sins, does not condemn us; he intercedes for us. We are told all of this to assure us that we have a steadfast love in Christ. Ease your fears with the extraordinary words of Romans 8:38-39.

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rules, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Spiritual intimacy with God is a healing balm that blesses our lives. We recognize our need for it. We acknowledge the ways we have been derailed from achieving it. So how do we intentionally reach out and grasp hold of it? Well, how do you develop intimacy with another person? Through spending time and sharing thoughts and a common purpose.

It is no different with God.

Another way to look at this is to see how you have gained spiritual intimacy through prayer (spending time with God), through his Word (sharing his thoughts as recorded in Scripture), and through obedience (accepting God’s purposes as your own).

A wonderful aspect of this spiritual intimacy is that you can begin your relationship with God immediately, and it will be counted as valid. Then, as you mature and grow, your relationship with him will mature and grow in tandem. This is a lifelong, constant relationship. You can pour your heart and soul into it and not be disappointed or deceived.

He will not forsake you.

He cannot die.

He has promised never to leave you.

As we are reminded in Hebrews 10:19, we can enter into God’s presence with “confidence” and “full assurance.” Be not afraid! With God you are special and safe.

SOURCE: Chapter 6: “Spiritual Intimacy,” God Can Help You Heal by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Hear and Forgive: A Sovereign Act of Power

Posted on March 12, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

In the Old Testament books of 1 Kings and 2 Chronicles, God gives us the “hear and forgive” example of his forgiveness. This is an easy example for us to identify with, for it involves hearing the plea for forgiveness and then granting it. In these two books, the people of Israel called out to God, who heard them from heaven and forgave their sin (1 Kings 8:30, 34, 36, 39; 2 Chronicles 6:21, 25, 27, 30, 39). Forgiveness follows a plea for the same. It makes sense to us that if someone does us wrong, that person should recognize it and ask for forgiveness.

Some of us desire nothing more than for the one who wronged us to cry out for our forgiveness.

We dream of being in the position of 2 Chronicles 7:14: “If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”

We want the person to acknowledge a relationship with us (“if my people who are called by my name”), exhibit an attitude of submission to us (“humble themselves, pray, seek my face”), and show their remorse (“and turn from their wicked ways”).

If all these conditions are met, then we will consider following.

God, of course, restores the relationship broken by sin (“then I will hear from heaven:”), agrees to the request (“and will fogive their sin”), and goes even further to provide blessings (“and heal their land”).

That is what God does, but it doesn’t always work that way with us.

Even if the person does all of the above, we may still withhold forgiveness because of the depth of our own hurt. We may not have the freedom of forgiveness, but we’ll gladly settle for the satisfaction of their humiliation. The truth is, their humiliation is what we desire most. Through it, we feel vindicated and powerful, especially if their sin against us made us feel powerless, vulnerable, and victimized. We want them to beg for forgiveness in order to exact revenge.

We want to dangle the carrot of forgiveness in front of them in order to wield the stick of retribution.

This is not the purpose of forgiveness.

For example, God does not need to forgive us in order to feel powerful; he is almighty. It is not being in the position to forgive that exhibits power but the expression of forgiveness that proves it. The psalmist said, “But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared” (Psalm 130:4, NIV). It doesn’t say that God is feared because he might forgive; it says he is feared because he does forgive.

The act of forgiveness is the sovereign act. It is not a submissive act; it is an act of power.

SOURCE: Chapter 3: “Forgiveness,” God Can Help You Heal by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Category Archives: Bible

The Role of Hope In Being Happy

Wisdom’s Plan of Action

What Patience Is, and What It’s Not

In Money We Trust? What the Bible Says About Wealth

The Role of Comfort as Defined by God

The Bottom Line From Job

7 Ways to Instill Faith In Your Children

Connections: The Healing Touch of Relationships

Spiritual Intimacy Through Christ: God’s Healing Balm of Life

Hear and Forgive: A Sovereign Act of Power

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