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Category Archives: Eating disorders

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Who To LIKE and FOLLOW for Eating Disorder Awareness: Supporting the Cause All Year Long via Social Media

Posted on February 28, 2013 by Dr. Jantz
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Though this year’s National Eating Disorder Awareness Week is coming to a close, it can and should be just the beginning of support we lend to the cause in 2013.

Whether you are living with an eating disorder, know someone who is, or simply want to help those affected, please consider Liking on Facebook or Following on Twitter the pages linked to below:

Eating Disorder Hope — Promoting an end to eating disordered behavior, embracing life and pursuing recovery.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Eating-Disorder-Hope/83317933683
Twitter: https://twitter.com/EDhope

Finding Balance — Helping you eat well and live free.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nonprofitpage.FINDINGbalance.Inc
Twitter: https://twitter.com/finding_balance

National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) — Supporting individuals and families affected by eating disorders, and serves as a catalyst for prevention, cures and access to quality care.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NationalEatingDisordersAssociation
Twitter: https://twitter.com/NEDAstaff

Someday Melissa — Raising awareness of eating disorders and the importance of early treatment; the cornerstone of the organization’s work is the award winning documentary, “Someday Melissa.”
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SomedayMelissa
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SomedayMelissa

Men Get ED’s Too — Raising awareness of eating disorders in men so men can seek support.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MGEDT
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MGEDT

This week and, in some cases, for some time now, I have found these people, campaigns and organizations to be particularly helpful and inspiring in the realm of eating disorder information and recovery.

If you haven’t already, I invite you to Like me and Follow me too:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrGregoryJantz
Twtter: https://twitter.com/GregoryJantzPhD.

I post often on eating disorders, as well as other mental health issues. Help and hope is out there. You need only take the first step and believe.

Gregory Jantz, PhD
Founder, The Center of Counseling and Health Resources
Author, Hope, Help & Healing for Eating Disorders: The Whole-Person Approach to Treatment for Anorexia, Bulimia and Disodered Eating

Posted in Eating disorders | Leave a reply

National Eating Disorder Awareness Week [RESOURCES]

Posted on March 1, 2012 by Dr. Jantz
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Every year, the National Eating Disorders Association dedicates a full week to raising awareness about anorexia, bulimia, and compulsive overeating. You can help this week by educating yourself about eating disorders and sharing that knowledge with others. Of course, if you or a loved one is living with anorexia, bulimia or compulsive overeating, there is no better time than now to seek the help you need. The resources referenced below can help.

Information on Eating Disorders, including signs of eating disorders and the physical health problems associated with them.

Eating Disorder Survey,101 questions to help determine the kind of help that may be needed for someone living with anorexia, bulimia or compulsive overeating.

Hope, Help and Healing for Eating Disorders by Dr. Gregory Jantz, the founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, specializing in whole-person care for the treatment of eating disorders.

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Hungry for Hope: A Family Affair [CONFERENCE]

Posted on May 26, 2011 by Dr. Jantz
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If you or a loved one have been affected by an eating disorder, you know it’s a family affair, sucking the life and love out of the most significant people and relationships in your life. Thus, this year’s theme for the premiere Christian conference for eating disorders and body image issues.

Hungry for Hope: A Family Affair is June 15-18, 2011, at the Glen Eyrie Castle in Colorado Springs. I’ll be speaking there, as will two dozen other presenters on the topics of bulimia, anorexia and compulsive overeating, with particular focus on familial attitudes about:

  • Food
  • Genetics
  • Culture
  • Shame
  • Boundaries

As I write in Hope, Help & Healing for Eating Disorders:

“The key to an eating disorder or to disordered eating often lies in relationships. For most people, those relationships lie within the family. The behaviors surrounding a dysfunctional relationship with food are often the result of another relationship – perhaps several relationships – tilting off the mark.”

Hungry for Hope: A Family Affair aims to address some of these issues, empowering you and your family to learn the healthy way to love one another during treatment and recovery.

The conference is limited to the first 135 registrants, so if you would like to attend, please sign up today. Attendance is just $198, which covers the cost of all sessions, materials and meals. Lodging at Glen Eyrie Castle is additional with room rates starting at just $70. For more details – including help finding a roommate if you like – visit FindingBalance.com.

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Parental Involvement Important in the Prevention and Awareness of Eating Disorders

Posted on March 19, 2011 by Dr. Jantz
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It is my honor to share with you this article by two eating disorder experts — Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC, Founder and Director of Eating Disorder Hope and Debra Cooper, Expert Writer on eating disorders….

Eating disorders are now epidemic in the United States.  Approximately 11 million women and girls struggle with anorexia and bulimia.  Although the average age of onset is 14, girls are being diagnosed as young as eight.

In years past, an eating disorder stereotype existed. This person was female, white, usually first-born or an only child, a high-achiever and from an affluent family.   That stereotype is long gone. Today, anorexia and bulimia are equal-opportunity disorders.  They flourish in every culture, race, ethnicity, social-economic group, and religion throughout our country. And, whereas eating disorders were once exclusively a female issue, this is no longer the case. Anorexia and bulimia are also on the rise in the male population.

In other words, no individual is exempt and no family is immune.  The following is designed to provide parents with the information required to understand eating disorders and help prevent one from occurring in their home.

Eating Disorders Defined

Eating disorders are serious psychiatric illnesses, not unlike depression or anxiety. Those with an eating disorder use food in an unhealthy manner to cope with unpleasant emotions or difficult life situations. Anorexia and bulimia are two of the most common and dangerous of these disorders.

Anorexia is defined by self-starvation. Those with this illness intentionally starve themselves to dangerously thin levels, at least 15% below what would be considered a normal weight.  Anorexia is an addictive behavior. It is often accompanied by body distortion. This means the one practicing the behavior literally does not see what everyone else does. Regardless of how emaciated she becomes, she still sees an overweight girl in the mirror.

Bulimia is an extremely complex disorder that is difficult for most people to understand. It rarely occurs in very young children. It is far more likely to manifest in adolescents. When a girl has bulimia, she uncontrollably binges on large amounts of food and then purges through vomiting, starving, excessive exercise, laxatives, or other methods. This behavior also has addictive qualities. An individual with bulimia may purge more than 20 times a day.

Contributing Factors & Warning Signs

What causes an eating disorder is highly individualized; it is rarely the result of one isolated event or life situation. Certain factors can contribute to the onset of an eating disorder in a child or adolescent girl.  These include genetics, peer pressure, dieting, trauma, media influence, life transitions, athletics and perfectionism.

The most obvious sign of anorexia is extreme and rapid weight loss.  These girls often diet obsessively, focus inordinate interest in calories, carbohydrates and fat grams, complain about being fat and display an extreme preoccupation with food.  A girl with anorexia will never admit to being hungry, even though she is starving.

The key warning sign for bulimia is leaving quickly after meals and spending a long time in the bathroom.  Visible indications of bulimia are scrapes on the fingers or hands, swollen glands in the neck or possibly broken blood vessels in the eyes.  It is not unusual for a young person with bulimia to steal food from the family or a grocery store.

Body Image and Eating Disorders

Body image is how a person sees herself. It is rarely based on reality, but is far more defined by the culture in which she lives.  Unfortunately, we live in a society that places an absurdly high value on physical perfection and beauty.  This obsession with perfection is most evident in the American media. Beautiful females are showcased everywhere, especially in magazines to promote any number of products.  Often these photos have been altered or undergone a tremendous amount of computer manipulation to achieve perfection.  The problem is:  the girls scrutinizing these models believe they are real – that what they see is how that model actually looks.

By definition, adolescent girls are very self-conscious and body focused.  When they compare themselves to these “perfect” females, they inevitably fall short.  Their self esteem takes a profound hit. They experience extreme body dissatisfaction.  These girls can’t immediately grow taller or change their cheekbones, but they can lose weight.  They start dieting.  This is an eating disorder waiting to happen.

Parents and Eating Disorder Prevention

Although children are influenced everyday by many external factors, parents can play an important role in the prevention of eating disorders.  Throughout a child’s life, food should never be used as a reward or punishment.  Healthy, balanced eating should be modeled in the home.  Exercise should be done for fun and health, not weight loss.

Mothers need to recognize the profound impact their own behavior has on their daughters.  A mother who is always on a diet, obsessed with calories and fat grams, constantly weighing herself and focusing on clothing sizes, will encourage similar behaviors in her daughter.

Similarly, a father plays a vital role in the development of a daughter’s values and self esteem.  Although all parents are encouraged to avoid excessively complimenting or praising a child on her appearance, this is particularly critical where the father is concerned. While a girl is young, her primary male role model is her father.  It is important for her to see that her value to him is not predicated exclusively on how she looks, or she is at risk for taking this same belief system and applying it to all men in adulthood.

Parental focus should be placed on a daughter’s unique talents or achievement in areas such as academics or athletics.  Most important, every child should be highly reinforced for excellent qualities such as kindness, compassion or generosity.

Everyday girls experience peer pressure and are exposed to a host of negative media messages. That’s why it is so important to combat these issues through positive communication in the home.  Parents need to talk about what truly has value in the real world and what does not.  Value is found in the content of an individual’s heart and character, never the numbers on a scale. Further, when an eating disorder is indicated, early intervention by a specialized eating disorder treatment team is essential.

Due to the genetic component of eating disorders, anorexia and bulimia will probably always exist.   However, through a great deal of love, support and open communication, parents can  help their children develop a healthy relationship with food, combat the societal pressure  to be thin, as well as  maintain a strong self esteem and body image.

Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC is the Founder and Director of Eating Disorder Hope. Eating Disorder Hope is the one-stop eating disorder treatment, resource and information site. Eating Disorder Hope promotes ending eating disordered behavior, embracing life and pursuing recovery through implementing the best treatment available for the individual with anorexia, bulimia or binge eating disorder.

Debra M. Cooper, a graduate of Arizona State University, has worked as a professional writer for 25 years.  On staff at a prominent eating disorder treatment center for nine years, Debra is an expert in topics such as anorexia, bulimia and anxiety disorders.  She is the author of Behind The Broken Image, a novel that explores the impact of eating disorders on the individual and the family.

Copyright (C) 2011 Eating Disorder Hope. All rights reserved. URL: EatingDisorder Hope

I hope the information in this article has been helpful. If there is a child in your life who is living with an eating disorder, I invite you to learn about The Center’s approach to whole-person eating disorder treatment. Help and hope is here.

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Paying Attention to the Emotional Abuse of Neglect

Posted on March 14, 2011 by Dr. Jantz
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Tomorrow EatingDisorderHope.com is giving away 10 copies of my book Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse. (To enter the drawing, click here.)  For a preview of what to expect, here’s an excerpt from chapter 6, “Emotional Abuse Through Neglect”….

None of us likes to be ignored, treated as if we simply aren’t important enough to notice. The person who has suffered this type of emotional abuse is saddled with the realization that his or her presence doesn’t even cause a ripple in the world of the abuser. What is so damaging is that usually the abuser is someone from whom the person desperately wants to receive love and attention.

Children know and understand that the things with which adults concern themselves are important. When parents are involved in the life of their child, they communicate to the child that he or she is important. When parents fail to become involved, they communicate to the child a sense of rejection.

The tragedy of emotional abuse through neglect is that it can take place in homes where physical needs are met, even extravagantly met. Children need more than food on the table and a roof over their heads. They are designed to need nurturing physical and emotional emotional relationships with their parents. When emotional needs are not met, children have difficulty progressing developmentally. It is as if they become “stuck” at a certain stage and progression is retarded. Emotionally neglected children are so hungry for emotional attachment that they may cling to strangers or other adults, displaying little natural caution around people they don’t know.

In my work with eating disorders, I found a tie between disordered eating and childhood emotional neglect. Food or control of food becomes a substitute relationship for the one missing; it becomes friend, comforter, lover. This is often tied to unusual comforting behaviors, such as head banging, biting, scratching, or cutting. So fundamental is an emotional bond for connection, comfort, and stability that neglected children turn to inappropriate, damaging behaviors as a way to substitute and cope.

Neglect may be found in the:

  • MIA parent who emotionally and physically abandons his or her responsibility as a parent
  • Distant caregiver who is physically present but emotionally distant and withdrawn from his or her children
  • Emotionally detached parent who provides for his or her children in every way except for emotional bonding and attachment

If neglect or abandonment has depleted your emotional life, it is possible to restore emotional strength. You do so by believing and internalizing the following truths:

I have value because God has given it to me.

Through the mistreatment of others, I have developed a faulty sense of self. I accept this truth and am learning more about who I really am and who I am meant to be every day.

My self-respect and innate dignity are a gift from God that can never be taken away.

I am learning to treat myself with dignity and respect, even if others have not done so in the past.

I am no longer a victim. Today I celebrate being a victor!

SOURCE: Chapter 6, “Emotional Abuse Through Neglect,” in Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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The Story of a Woman’s Anger

Posted on February 10, 2011 by Dr. Jantz
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On February 15th EatingDisorderHope.com is giving away 10 copies of my book Every Woman’s Guide to Managing Your Anger. For a preview of what to expect, here’s a collection of blogs I ran a few months ago featuring case studies of four women whose stories are shared in the book:

Pamela Under Stress: A Busy Mother’s Siege Mentality

Pamela really felt under siege by the pressures of her life. Every task, every demand on her time — even those she agreed to — began to feel like an attack against her peace of mind, her emotional stability, her physical stamina…. Read more.

Paralyzed by Anger: Jenny’s Story

Jenny listened to the voice message from Colin with mixed emotions. Part of her wanted to smile at how sweet he sounded over the phone. The other part of her counseled to avoid being swayed by the sound of his voice. She had already made up her mind not to continue going out with him. Her reasons were very specific and justified. He wasn’t serious enough. He lacked motivation. He wasn’t sensitive enough to her needs. For each reason, she could relive a detailed example of that failing…. Read more.

Anger In Waiting: Connie’s Story

Connie glanced at the clock on the dresser, agitated by how late it was. Almost simultaneously she heard her husband call up to the bedroom from downstairs. Rob wanted to know when she’d be ready to leave, and it was obvious by his tone of voice he was irritated at her tardiness. He’d said to be ready at 5:30, and she still had six minutes left, according to the clock…. Read more.

Resolving Relationships: Katie’s Story, Part I

Katie came to work with me originally because of depression and an eating disorder. Her mother was concerned because, at twenty-three, Katie was obese. She had a good job but was plagued by high absenteeism that threatened her employment. When she was at work, she was meticulous and thorough. But there were just too many days when she couldn’t seem to make it in. Her weight never seemed to go down. It would plateau for a time, but then Katie would have a “down time” and up it would creep…. Read more.

Resolving Relationships: Katie’s Story, Part II

Katie hadn’t worried about it much while still in school because the sheer busyness and activity level of college kept a lid on her weight. As soon as Katie graduated and got a job, however, things started to unravel. Even though she wanted to lose weight, she couldn’t seem to. The heavier she got, she worse she felt. The more out of control her life and her eating became, the angrier she got. The angrier she got, the more despair she felt. The more despair she felt, the deeper her depression. The more depressed she became, the harder it was to go to work and the easier it was to eat…. Read more.

Click here for details on how to enter the book giveaway.

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EatingDisorderHope.com Sponsors Monthly Book Giveaways in 2011

Posted on January 23, 2011 by Dr. Jantz
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Every month this year through November, EatingDisorderHope.com is featuring one of my books in its library of resources for eating disorder treatment, discovery and related issues. Each featured book comes with a book giveaway, the next one scheduled for February 15 – Every Woman’s Guide to Managing Your Anger. 

I’d like to thank Eating Disorder Hope for sharing my books, and I’d like to encourage you to check out their website for a whole host of information and inspiration intended to support its mission: “To offer hope, information and resources to individual eating disorder sufferers, their family members and treatment providers.”

Every Woman’s Guide to Managing Your Anger helps women face their anger issues, move beyond them, and live the life they were meant to live.

So if you (or someone you know) want to…

  • accept the truth of your anger
  • examine where it comes from
  • be honest about how you use it
  • be open to change
  • be willing to forgive, even yourself
  • be willing to feel something else besides their anger

… click here for details on how to enter the book giveaway today.

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Our Need for Control: Teri’s Story

Posted on September 9, 2010 by Dr. Jantz
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There is a wide difference between control and self-control. Many of us would admit to a desire for control in our lives and in fact have developed patterns and behaviors to attempt to achieve it. We’re not as diligent, however, when it comes to incubating an environment as amenable to self-control.

One of the reasons we want to have control globally is to let ourselves off the hook personally where self-control is involved: “If I can control the things and people around me, it makes it less imperative for me to control myself.”

Control is a fascinating and frustrating paradox, especially in my line of work. The paradox I see comes when people start out engaging in some sort of behavior (including excessities) in an attempt to bring a sense of order and control into their lives. There comes a point, however, when the hunter becomes the hunted and the Gotta Have It! turns on them.

The very thing they invited into their lives to bring control now controls them.

TERI’S STORY

Teri thought she was an independent woman, but even in adulthood she lived in the shadows of her mother’s angst. Teri’s mother, preoccupied with her own weight issues, began to transfer that anxiety onto Teri as a child. It wasn’t enough that her mother measured and fretted over everything she ate — she wanted to include Teri in her swirl of perpetual dieting, calorie counting, and nutrient mapping.

Somewhere around 11 or 12 years old, Teri decided to take control of her life.

She figured out she didn’t have a lot of ground to work with, given she was still living at home under her parents’ strict rules. But, being an inventive adolescent, she began to find ways to assert herself.

Teri rebelled by refusing to eat in her mother’s presence whenever possible. It wasn’t really that hard to do.

Her mother was so busy getting ready for work in the morning that she never bothered to eat breakfast and rarely ventured into the kitchen for more than a hurried cup of coffee. Lunch was easy; Teri ate at school. Most evenings either she had things going on, or her mother did, so dinner together rarely coincided. On the weekends, she could usually get out of at least one evening meal by going to a friend’s house. Sundays were the hardest because it meant a meal after church together, but Teri had gotten very good at eating slowly and pushing the food around her plate, outlasting her mother, who never seemed very comfortable at the dinner table.

Away from her mother, Teri ate whatever she wanted, in whatever quantity suited her. She relished eating the kinds of foods she knew her mother would cringe at — either because she would never consider eating them or because Teri suspected her mother really longed to eat them.

Eating on her own, her way, became Teri’s declaration of independence.

This worked pretty well through middle school, but in high school, things changed. Even though her mother rarely saw her eat, the effect of what she ate started to show. Teri began to gain weight. Comments from her mother expanded from what she ate to how she looked.

One night while staying at a friend’s house, Teri complained about this unwanted level of scrutiny. In the dark and quiet privacy of her friend’s bedroom, Teri shared that she wanted to lose weight but was finding it hard. Then her friend described a way she could eat whatever she wanted and not gain weight. This was just what Teri was looking for. It seemed a fair trade — learning how and when to vomit up her food in order to still get to eat it.

Now she could eat what she wanted and not have to deal with all the disadvantges of weight gain. She could still be in control.

Like so many others, Teri came to work with me after being bulimic over half her life. She wanted to stop but couldn’t. She no longer had to force herself to vomit; instead, her stomach tended to heave up its contents without conscious effort. Teri admitted, “My life is out of control.”

What started out as a way for a teenager to take control ended up controlling her life as an adult.

I recongize that most of you reading Teri’s story probably won’t identify with the bulimia aspect. However, most of you should be able to connect to the control aspect.

Maybe you haven’t lost control to bulimia in your life. Maybe it’s alcohol. Maybe it’s acquiring stuff. Maybe it’s cigarettes or prescription drugs. Maybe you can connect with the eating part of Teri’s story. You started out doing whatever it is as a way to declare your independence, as a way to say you were perfectly capable of making your own choices, thank you very much. Somewhere, however, those choices turned into excessities and turned the tables on control. You thought that by choosing them you were exerting control over your life. Little did you know that you’d end up dependent upon them and that they’d control you.

Source: Chapter 7, “Our Need for Control” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc
 
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Are Your Excessities Fueled By Anxiety?

Posted on August 19, 2010 by Dr. Jantz
1

Many of the people I work with are burdened by fear, worry, and anxiety affecting their ability to live productive and happy lives. These same feelings propel them headlong into excessities. Often, they are focsed on the negativity associated with their excessities, such as obesity or alcoholism or addiction to pornography. They want help to “just stop” whatever those things are that has taken control over their lives, as if those things were merely actions. It is a deeper issue, however, to work through their fear at the heart of those actions. Often, the source has been blown completely out of proportion. They are consumed with the what-ifs and what-abouts instead of recognizing the what-is.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, almost 7 million adults will experiencea condition known as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) in any given year. GAD is a chronic condition where a person lives with anxiety, worry, and tension, even when there is little outside reason for it. This fear is accompanied by a variety of physical symptoms, such as fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, muscle-aches, difficulty swallowing, trembling, twitching, irritability, sweating and hot flashes. It’s as if you’re all ready for the fight of your life but can’t really see who your enemy is. The true enemy is fear.

Generalized anxiety disorder falls under the category of anxiety disorders, which also includes panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, social phobia, and other phobias (such as agoraphobia).

As you read through explanations of each of these conditions, I’d like you to examine whether or not it is possible one or more of them are fueling some of your excessities. You don’t need to be officially diagnosed as having one of these disorders to be able to recognize whether or not somehting about it resonates with you. Carla wasn’t ever diagnosed as obsessive-compulsive, yet her extreme need to exercise contains some OCD components. Keep that in mind as you read these exclamations from the National Institute of Mental Health.

Panic Disorder — this debilitating condition is when a person is seized suddenly by intense feelings of terror, fear, and impending loss of control. It is accompanied by a racing heart, feeling sweaty, weak, faint, or dizzy, and is often interpreted by the person as a heart attack.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder — this is a condition where a person is plagued by incessant unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and/or repetitive behaviors (compulsions). The person often develops the repetitive behaviors as a way to guard against or mitigate the unwanted thoughts. The repetitive behaviors can include things like hand washing, counting, cleaning, or checking things. The person hopes  doing these rituals will prevent or guard against the obsessive thoughts. While doing the rituals provides temporary relief, not doing the rituals actually adds to the person’s anxiety.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder — this reaction is the result of a terrifying event or situation where the person experienced or expected to receive serious injury. The clarity o fthe danger is so real, so immediate, it continues to intrude into the person’s life — producing feelings of stress and panic — even when there is no longer any danger. It’s as if, once activated, their fight-or-flight response refuses to shut off, leaving them feeling numb and detached from life and those they love. They may also experience trouble sleeping.

Social Phobia — a person with a social phobia views social situations as battlefields, places of extreme danger. It affects fifteen million adult Americans in any given year. In social situations, they are terrified of being watched and judged by other people. sure they will in some way be humiliated or embarrassed. Eating around or speaking to other people is sheer torture.

Phobias — social phobias can lead to other phobias, such as agoraphobia. People with panic disorders can also develop agoraphobia, as they seek to avoid any situation or place that produced a panic attack in the past. Their list of “safe places” becomes smaller and smaller.

All of these conditions have at their base fear, worry, and anxiety. These can be hard taskmasters when acceded to and given control over your life. When those negative feelings take on larger-than-life proportions, they produce feelings of panic and dread even on a day when the sky is blue, the air is clean, and the sun is shining. The more feelings of panic they produce, the more apt you are to seek out behaviors that produce reassurance that all is well — or, at least, all is well for right now.

Excessities can become a close-your-eyes, plug-your-ears, sing-la-la-la-la-la activity to drown out the drumbeat of fear, worry, and anxiety.

Source: Chapter 4, “Our Need for Reassurance” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc
 
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Posted in Addictions, Eating disorders, Gotta Have It!, Stress | 1 Reply

Our Need for Comfort: Jennifer’s Story

Posted on August 3, 2010 by Dr. Jantz
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We live in a harsh world with deceit lies, and falsehoods — a world where one of our deepest needs is to be comforted but that comfort is often in vain. Any comfort received from false sources is fleeting at best, requiring us to continue in fruitless comfort-seeking behavior.
  
JENNIFER’S STORY
Jennifer needed comfort every day. When she prayed “Give us this day our daily bread,” she meant it for comfort not for food. Bread — in all its carbohydrate forms — was Jennifer’s comforter. She liked just about anything baked, but there was something sublime about fresh, hot, yeasty bread with its crusty, crunchy outside and soft, warm middle. And when it was slathered with sweet and salty butter…well, there just wasn’t anything more comforting to Jennifer. Often she would go to the market near her house specifically to buy a fresh loaf of French b read, knowing just what time the hot loaves would be set out on the racks by the checkout stand. Before she got the bread home, along with the other groceries she bought as cover, she would eat over half the loaf tearing off large pieces gulping them down in the front seat like someone winded gulps for air.
Life made Jennifer feel winded — physically, emotionally, and spiritulaly. Food — bread in particular — helped to ease that discomfort and give Jennifer a sense of relief. Lost within that moment of fulfillment, Jennifer felt a golden sense of being satisfied, something she rarely felt during her life-as-usual.

The only problem for Jennifer was that the fulfillment never lasted very long. By the time she got the bread home and put away the rest of the groceries, it was already starting to cool off, and the kids wanted in on the action. Before she knew it, the loaf was gone along wiht that transcendent moment of relief. Instead, it was replaced by anxiety over her weight and how much she’d eaten. Everything about the bread, it seemed, always went from warm to cold.

COMFORT FOOD
 
Food is a comfort commodity. From our earliest moments of life outside the womb, one of our first feelings of distress and discomfort comes from hunger. And one of our first feelings of being comforted comes from being fed. There were panic and agitation; there were relief and calming. Growing up, you may have lived in a household where food was given as a universal pacifier. When you were hungry, you were fed. When you were upset you were fed. When you were bored you were fed. When you were good, you were fed. When there was a reason for celebration, you were fed.
Or you could have grown up in a home where real connection was tenuus and comfort a do-it-yourself proposition. In the absence of affectionate feelings or expressed love, you learned that the comfort found in food was ultimately more reliable and always more controllable. You learned to grab comfort where you could because at your house it was in chronically short supply.

Often, because of denials and rationalizations, it can be difficult to reach an understanding of how much a role food plays in comfort seeking. People tend to downplay the need for their food of choice; they downplay the amount they actually consume of it; they downplay the importance it has appropriated in their lives. They downplay all of these things until they are asked to withhold that food of choice. When this happens, they quickly realize it has become their go-to source of comfort.

When speaking of comfort, food is the first thing that comes to my mind because of the amount of eating disorders I work with, but I have seen many other activities join the go-to-for-comfort club. I have seen that loaf of French bread replaced by a double-tall caramel macchiato. I have seen that double-tall caramel macchiato replaced by a video game controller. I have seen that game controller replaced by a credit card. I have seen that credit card replaced by the satisfaction of a verbal outburst or a sarcastic put-down.

The ways people choose to provide themselves with comfort is virtually endless. When you factor in each person’s unique situation and capacity for creativity, the permutations go off the chart.

Source: Chapter 3, “Our Need for Comfort” in
Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.
 
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If you would like to receive a free copy of Gotta Have It!, share your thoughts about this book excerpt in the comments section of this blog post. Or share your thoughts on Dr. Jantz’s Facebook page or in a Twitter update mentioning @gregoryjantzphd.
Posted in Eating disorders, Gotta Have It! | Leave a reply

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