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Monthly Archives: December 2010

The Role of Hope In Being Happy

Posted on December 29, 2010 by Dr. Jantz
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Hope isn’t really a happy emotion. Hope is not necessarily a giddy, bubbly, effervescent, here-and-now emotion. It’s something much more complex, a response firmly based in the certainty of an unseen future. The dictionary defines hope as expecting with confidence. The verb expecting clearly indicates the outcome is in the future. Because the outcome lies in the future, it is not visible in the present.

Romans 8:24 says, “But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?” Hope is expecting with confidence something you can’t see yet. It’s a bit like the explanation of faith in Hebrews 11:1: “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

Hope, then, is not a reaction based upon an experienced present but a response based upon an expected future. In this way, hope is like delayed gratification. You may not be experiencing in the present what you want, but you respond to those circumstances based upon what you expect to come to pass in the future. You expect to experience gratification, understanding it’s not going to come instantly but rather at some point in the future. You are willing to wait because you expect with confidence that waiting will prove beneficial. In the same way, when things aren’t going the way you want, you have to be willing to hope.

Hope, like delayed gratification, is a mature response to life. Listen to the progression, the maturation process:

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. ~Romans 5:3-5

In some ways, hope has its most important work as a response to problems and struggles. Hope is the watchword of Old Testament people like Job and Jeremiah, and of David. Each of them experienced hope in the most profound way during times of great distress and personal turmoil.

It is hope, perhaps, most of all, that anchors you deep into the positive and allows you to weather times of drought and storm.

The Book of Job is one of unremitting suffering. God allows Satan to remove from Job all of the things in this life you would normally ascribe to being happy: wealth, possessions, and family. In the span of a single day, all of that is wiped out. What is Job’s response to this utter destruction of his livelihood and his children?

According to Job 1:20-21, he worshiped and praised God, saying, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” This is an amazing, mature response to calamity!

The Book of Jeremiah is one of calamity and destruction. It outlines the destruction of Judah by the Babylonians. Jeremiah prophesied about this destruction. He repeatedly tries to alert the people and various kings to the coming catastrophe, but to no avail. It is a book filled with despair and destruction. Yet, it is also a book of hope and future, as Jeremiah 29:11 (my theme verse) says: ” ‘For I now the plans I have for you,’ declaresthe Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ ” Even in the midst of destruction, God was already promising His future restoration to Jeremiah.

Jeremiah goes on to write the Book of Lamentations, a poetic recitation of the destruction of Jerusalem. Do you remember the verses I mentioned earlier from Lamentations? “I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail” (Lamentations 3:20-22). Jeremiah could look around him, in the face of a vast array of destruction, and have hope. so, what was Jeremiah hoping for?

David was annointed by God to be the king of Israel. When you think of a king, you probably think of palaces and power, feasting and fealty. That’s not exactly what David experienced. When God chose David to be king, there was already a king in Israel named Saul. Saul, needless to say, wasn’t thrilled about the change in leadership. His response? He set out to hunt David down and kill him. This failed, of course, and David was eventually declared king over Israel. It lasted a little while; long enough for his own sons to grow and rise up against him.

David spent a great deal of his time hiding out, running from enemies, and dodging assassination attempts. Being persecuted in this way could have caused David to be a very pessimistic person. Yet, David writes beautifully of his hope in the psalms: May my accusers perish in shame; may those who want to harm me be covered with scorn and diswgrace. But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more” (Psalm 71:13-14).

David, Jeremiah, and Job all chose to hope for God to provide a positive future.

Hope is not a rejection of your present circumstance. On the contrary, it is an acceptance of it. For example, this is what is said of Abraham, concerning God’s promise that he would have a child in his old age: “Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, ‘So shall your offspring be.’ Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his  body was as good as dead — since he was about a hundred years old — and that Sarah’s womb was also dead” (Romans 4:18-19).

I really like that verse.

Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed. Without weakening his faith, he faced the rality of his situation and still chose hope. Again, hope is not a rejection of your present circumstances. Paradoxically, as God often works, hope is strengthened in its quality by your present, hopeless circumstances. After all, if the outcome was something you could see or already had, it wouldn’t be hope, would it?

SOURCE: Chapter 11, “The Role of Hope in Being Happy,” in Happy for the Rest of Your Life by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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Posted in Bible, God, Happiness, Happy for the Rest of Your Life | Leave a reply

Merry Christmas In the Name of God We Trust

Posted on December 22, 2010 by Dr. Jantz
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Inherent in our celebration of the birth of Christ is our celebration of the Holy Father. God goes by many names, all of which imply the same – unconditional love, of course, but also our unwavering trust.

Webster’s Dictionary defines trust in the following ways: “1 a: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something; b: one in which confidence is placed. In order to obey what God tells you to do, you need to be able to place your confidence in Him. That confidence is based upon His character, ability, strength, and truth.

God’s character is clearly shown through the names He gives Himself. These are descriptors of His character. Regent University has a wonderful website at www.bible.org that outlines the names of God. They are:

  • Elohim – This is the plural version of the term El, which means “strong one,” and refers to majesty. It is plural, signifying the truine nature of God.
  • El Shaddai – “God Almighty.” God is almighty, or as Luke 1:37 says, “Nothing is impossible with God.”
  • El Elyon – “The Most High God,” stressing God’s strength, sovereignty, and supremacy.
  • El Olam – “The everlasting God.” God does not change, nor does He wear out.
  • Yahweh Jireh – “The Lord will provide.” Note it doesn’t say might or could or may provide; it says will.
  • Yahweh Nissi – “The Lord is my banner.” This signifies God as leading the charge in battle and providing victory.
  • Yahweh Shalom – “The Lord is peace.” This peace is global and personal (Isaiah 26:12).
  • Yahweb Sabbaoth – “The Lord of hosts.” God is the commander of the heavenly armies; He has spiritual resources at His command.
  • Yahweb Maccadeshcem – “The Lord your sanctifier.” God has sanctified you; He has set you apart for His purposes.
  • Yahweb Ro’i – “The Lord my shepherd.” (See Psalm 23, one of the most beautiful poems ever written.)
  • Yahweh Tsidkenu – “The Lord our righteousness.” God provides what you and I are unable to provide on our own.
  • Yahweb Shammah – “The Lord is there,” signifying God’s personal presence. HE is not a way-out-there, disconnected deity; He is there with you.
  • Yahweb Elohim Israel – “The Lord, the God of Israel.” You are included as a spiritual descendent of Israel.
  • Adonai – “Master, authority, provider.” This is also in the plural form, signifying God’s truine friendship.
  • Thoes – “God.” This is a Greek word, identifying God as the one true God, as unique, as transcendent, as Savior.
  • Kurios – “Lord.” Another Greek word, signifying authority and supremacy.
  • Despotes – “Master,” with the connotation of ownership. First Corinthians 6:20 and 7:23 remind you that you were bought with a price and are not your own.
  • Father – I thought it was interesting that this form of the word is found only 15 times in the Old Testament but 245 times in the New Testament. Whatever else and whoever else God is, He is your heavenly Father.

Put all of these together, then, and this is who you are being called to place your confidence, your trust, in. What better place can you think of in which to place your trust?

According to the dictionary definition of trust given earlier, God has the character, ability, strength, and truth to be worthy of your trust. There is, however, a secondary definition I’d like to explore. It is “dependence on something future or contingent.”

Hebrews 12:2 says, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”  ”For the joy set before him” points to this shading of definition for the word trust. Jesus endured because He was absolutely sure of and dependent upon something in the future, that joy. Jesus trusted God for what had not yet occurred. This future joy tomorrow helped Jesus endure today.

In the same way, you can trust God not only for what He can do for you today but also for what He will do for you tomorrow and into eternity. If all of this sounds too good to be true, too much like an evangelical infomercial, let me just say a couple of things.

First, I agree, it does sound too good to be true. However, God is truth, so while it is entirely too good for the likes of me (and you, if I may be so bold), it is true. You can count on it; you can trust in God.

Secondly, it becomes easier to understand and accept if you’ll concentrate on the last word of the names of God, one of the two I added.

Concentrate on God as love. God is trustworthy with your life and future and happiness because He loves you. He has demonstrated that love to you in the most graphic way possible – by sacrificing His one and only Son in your place so you can be made righteous and able to enter into intimate fellowship with this amazing, all-powerful, almighty, loving Father.

Remember, it’s not about you; it’s about God. You can trust Him because He has put in motion this eon-spanning, intricate, creative plan to outwit evil and death, slavery and bondage, sin and torment. All you have to do in response is give up control, listen and pay attention, obey and trust.

SOURCE: Chapter 9, “God As Your Navigator (Spiritual),” in Happy for the Rest of Your Life by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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Posted in God, Happiness, Happy for the Rest of Your Life | Leave a reply

Are You Treating God Like a GPS Unit?

Posted on December 16, 2010 by Dr. Jantz
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Have you ever gotten lost, thrown up your hands, and wondered aloud, “Where in the world am I?”

Many people have discovered the wonders of a Global Positioning System, or GPS. In my line of work, it’s amazing how many people don’t know exactly where they are, metaphorically speaking. It’s impossible for them to get where they’re going, because they have no real inkling of where they are in the first place. They need, for their personal, emotional and spiritual lives, a way to navigate.

Now, a GPS is a relatively new marvel; God has been providing this service to people for millenia.

I’ve known several people over the course of my professional career who wanted to treat God just like a GPS unit. I’ve done so myself. I want God, like a GPS unit, to tell me how to get to my desired intentions. I’ve gotten myself lost, in a mess, and realized I need help to find my way out. So I called out to God — as my spiritual GPS — and asked Him to help me get to where I really wanted to go.

Of course, I didn’t ask Him if my intended destination was any better than my current one. I didn’t really want His opinion; I just wanted His help and divine power to get me out of my jam. I just wanted to be able to input my own data and with His help arrive at my chosen destination.

It’s something akin to the God-as-Santa-Claus syndrome. All I wanted to do was tell Him what I wanted and for Him to miraculoulsy provide it. I wanted His provision, not His perspective. This is God as device not diety, as servant not sovereign. This puts me firmly in control, and then I wonder why things don’t turn out and I’m not very happy.

In the depths of my despair and need, I call out to God, delineating in detail the best way to solve my problem, and then I wonder why God and His (my) solutions don’t appear as a genie from a bottle. This isn’t spirituality; it’s fantasy. It’s not biblical; it’s delusional, to say nothing of disrespectful, disobedient, and rebellious.

God is not really just a spiritual GPS device. It’s not His job to get me out of my messes. He can and will because He loves me, but He was not created for me. I was created for Him. In the powerful words of Rick Warren in The Purpose-Driven Life, it’s not about me. In the same way, it’s not about you.

When God is truly your spiritual navigator, you may drive the car, but He is in charge of the direction you’re not thrilled to be taking. With God as your spiritual navigator, it’s not about you. Instead, you need to give up control, listen to God, do what He tells you, and trust Him to make it all come out OK in the end.

SOURCE: Chapter 9, “God As Your Navigator (Spiritual),” in Happy for the Rest of Your Life by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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Sing a New Song, In the Words of God

Posted on December 10, 2010 by Dr. Jantz
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God never intended for you to have your mind filled with negative, destructive message created through the damage of others. For every lie these messages spew, He holds fast with His truth. His truth is positive, uplifting, empowering, and refreshing. God knows every negative thing you say to yourself; He hears the words of despair you utter and offers words of encouragement instead.

You say, “I learned how much one person can hurt another.”

God says,

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command (John 15:12-14). God, knowing how much people can hurt each other, commands each of us to love one another instead.

You say, “I learned that no matter what, I’m just not good enough.”

God says,

“My grace is sufficient for you” (2 Corinthians 12:9). God, understanding your weakness, makes His abundant grace available to you.

You say, “I learned it is possible for someone I love to stop loving me.”

God says,

“God is love” (1 John 4:8); “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). God, who is love, has promised never to leave or forsake you.

You say, “I learned to become resigned to failure.”

God says,

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13). God’s ability to succeed is stronger than your ability to fail.

You say, “I learned what it feels like to be on the outside.”

God says,

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God” (1 Peter 2:9). God has always meant for you to be part of His family, His plan – the ultimate insider for enternity.

You say, “I learned I am the problem.”

God says,

“Who will bring any charge against those God has chosen? It is God who justifies” (Romans 8″:33). God, who knows the truth in all things, is the defender of those wrongly accused, including you.

You say, “I learned up is down and down is up.”

God says,

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). Because of sin, this world will often seem upside down, with nothing sure and secure. God, through Christ, promises and affirms the opposite, giving your life foundation and security.

You say, “I learned a home is not a refuge.”

God says,

“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:29). Over and over again in the Old Testament, God is called a rock and a refuge. God, through Christ, promises to be both refuge and rest for you.

You say, “I learned the world is a scary place, not to be trusted.”

God says,

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me” (John 14:1). God knows the world is an untrustworthy place, so He offers Himself and His Son as the appropriate repositories of your trust; and God, unlike the world, is faithful with your trust.

You say, “I learned how quickly things can change.”

God says,

“He who is the Glory of Israel does not lie or change his mind; for he is not a man, that he should change his mind” (1 Samuel 15:29). God is your rock, and He does not change. Note that God does not promise things won’t change; He only promises that He will not. This life comes with storms; God offers Himself as your anchor.

You say, “I learned that what I do is never good enough.”

God says,

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:8). God is able to work through you to accomplish amazing and extraordinary things. Look at the number of times the words “all” and “every” appear in that one passage. Say it over to yourself this way: “And God is able to make all grace abound in me, so that in all things at all times, having all that I need, I will abound in every work.” It’s perfectly appropriate for you to personalize Scripture; it was written with you in mind.

You say, “I learned that the thoughts of others are more important than my own.”

God says,

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). God knows the only way to have a true heart of humility is based upon an understanding of your own value and worth first so you can extend it on to others. After all, one of the great commandments of God is to love your neighbor as yourself (Leviticus 19:18), which presupposes that you love yourself. You were told others were more important than you. God says, out of love, consider others as better than yourself. It is an attitude of love and service that God commands, after first demonstrating how it is done in the person of Jesus.

You say, “I learned the lesson of my own inadequacy.”

God says,

“For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose” (Philippians 2:13). When God is working through you, there is nothing you cannot accomplish; you are more than adequate.

You say, “I learned to wrap my pain in shame and hide it away.”

God says,

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you” (Isaiah 66:13). God knows the depth of your secret pain and promises comfort and restoration through His unfailing love. God doesn’t want you to hide your pain; He wants you to bring it to Him, as a hurting child runs to his or her mother, so He can comfort you.

You say, “I learned to fear it could happen again.”

God says,

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). There are so many empty assurances with God. He too knows it could happen again, and He promises to be with you through it all.

SOURCE: Chapter 6, “Choose Your Station Wisely (Emotional),” in Happy for the Rest of Your Life by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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Posted in God, Happy for the Rest of Your Life, Relationships, Self-Esteem | Leave a reply

Are You Tuned In To Negativity?

Posted on December 1, 2010 by Dr. Jantz
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That background drumbeat of negativism in your head wasn’t recorded overnight. Instead, it’s a compilation of messages you’ve herad, impressions and impacts you’ve assimilated, and conclusions you’ve reached over the course of your life. It’s like a top-40 countdown, except these aren’t the best songs you’ve ever heard; they’re the worst.

These messages have the ability to overpower the positive things you feel and that happen in your life by the sheer momentum of their negativity. These messages have created a well-worn groove in your mind, allowing them easy access to your subconscious and conscious thoughts, where they color how you feel about yourself and think about what happens to you.

Amy grew up in a household where the “noticed” child became the target of verbal and emotional abuse by an angry father.

 The way to survive growing up in Amy’s home was to be unnoticed. Blanket pronouncements of incompetence and worthlessess were common. Amy grew up hearing she wasn’t good enough, wouldn’t amount to anything, couldn’t do anything well enough, and wasn’t pretty enough to be of much use to anyone.

If she did well at school, Amy’s father said it was because the teachers were stupid. He was always right in his pronouncements. Any arguments to the contrary were quickly and vehemently countered, with sarcasm, insults, and threats.

Amy learned to keep her mouth shut, to hide what she was doing, hide who she was, and lay low. She distrusted attention and accolades, convinced she’d gotten away with something whenever anything good happened. She tried extremely hard to do everything right so that nothing could be held against her, all the while fearing she wasn’t up to the task.

When positive things happened at work, they were a source of anxiety and fear instead of satisfaction and celebration. If Amy could have picked out her “Top 40,” to Name That Tune, her list would have looked something like this:

  • I learned no matter what, I’m just not good enough
  • I learned to to become resigned to failure
  • I learned I am the problem
  • I learned what I do is never good enough
  • I learned the thoughts of others are more important than my own
  • I learned the lesson of my own inadequacy
  • I learned to wrap my pain in shame and hide it away

Of course, Amy had never stopped long enough to really listen to what she was telling herself. This self-dialogue was so ingrained in her that Amy stopped recognizing it years ago. These “lessons” formed the framework for how she interpreted the world and provided reasons why bad things happend to her. They warned her not to expect good things, and Amy considered them protective, so she wouldn’t get hurt when things didn’t turn out like she wanted. As far as Amy was concerned, it was better to be resigned than rejected.

I’ve known many people like Amy over the years.

These are well-meaning, good people who developed some pretty elaborate coping skills in order to survive and make sense of difficult circumstances. Because the negative messages they carry inside them are so deep seated, it isn’t always an easy or comfortable process to uncover their true meanings and influence. It requires courage, commitment, and a safe environment where truth is honored and supported.

What does your Top 40 look like?

SOURCE: Chapter 6, “Choose Your Station Wisely (Emotional),” in Happy for the Rest of Your Life by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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