Fame, Status, Success: Real or Imagined?

Posted on August 31, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

There is a corollary to money and power that I have seen people cling to as a way to security. It is the desire for fame, status or success as a bulwark against feelings of marginalization and lack of self-esteem. These people often feel that they are outside the rules that control the rest of society.

Special status bestowed by others is precarious because it is usually based upon the current popular culture.

Popular culture is not stable. There was a time when politicians had status; now they are thought of more as infamous than famous. There was a time when the bankers on Wall Street with million-dollar bonsues were looked upon with something akin to reverence; now it’s more like revulsion. The special people in a society can change overnight.

When the winds shift and you’re not considered special anymore, your world can come crashing down. Just ask past-their-prime athletes, last year’s beautiful people, or former child-star actors relegated to third-rate reality shows.

I have known a few people who were famous because of their achievements or position. I have known far more people who assigned themselves their own special status. Often they considered themselves to be special and outside of the rules, not so much because of what they had but because of what they didn’t have.

This is not popularitity through the positive but notoriety through the negative.

Their special status was because “no one else has suffered like I have” or “I am owed because of what I’ve lacked in my life” or “because of what I’ve suffered I can’t be held responsible.” This attitude produces a sense of entitlement. Yet this sense of entitlement isn’t bestowed upon the person by popular consensus. Rather, it is that person who has elevated himself or herself to a special status.

When you have declared yourself special and demand special treatment because of it, you create a false sense of security. After all, you are in control because you have declared yourself the sole artiber of your specialness. The instability of this platform arises because others may not be of the same opinion. They may interpret your specialness as rude, aggressive, argumentative, insensitive, arrogant, or unrealistic. The more you loudly demand your specialness, the deeper their negative reaction is driven. The more you demand to live outside the rules, the more others may desire for you to simply live outside of their proximity.

It is seductive to want to live outside of the rules and the natural consequences of life. Rules so often have to do with limits and restrictions. Natural consequences can seem harsh and unfair. The Gotta Have It! of claiming a special status yells out, “That doesn’t apply to me!”

When we get to avoid the rules of others and make up our own rules, we feel a sense of control over our world. When we are in control, we feel more secure.

Source: Chapter 5, “Our Need for Security” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc

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In Money We Trust? What the Bible Says About Wealth

Posted on August 28, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

“In God We Trust” has been engraved on our coins since 1864. Somewhere in the intervening years, however, it seems we’ve shifted from trust in God to trust in the coin itself. This isn’t a recent phenomenon; it’s been happening for a long time.

King Solomon, in his book of wisdom known as Proverbs, puts it this way:

“The wealth of the rich is their fortified city; they imagine it an unscalable wall” (Prov. 18:11).

There are many people today for whom wealth is their unscalable wall. They truly believe if they acquire enough of it, build up a high enough wall of it, the cares and concerns of the world will not be able to climb over. The problem, of course, lies in the fact that cares and concerns have very creative ways of mounting siege ramps against the walls of wealth and breach even the highest parapets. Insecurities also find ways to tunnel under the strongest edifices.

Money, quite simply, is not a secure thing to put your trust in. Again, from Proverbs:

“Do not wear yourself out to get riches, and have the wisdom to show restraint. Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky like an eagle” (23:4-5).

Money is a fluid, dynamic entity, and its worth is based upon factors out of the control of most people. A person’s wealth can be made and lost within a single year.

How many people have won millions of dollars on a lottery one year, only to wind up losing it all within a short span of time? How many people put their trust in the wealth they committed to Bernie Madoff, only to lose every cent in his billion-dollar Ponzi scheme? Money is not an appropriate place to look for security.

Money can be made and even more money made … and still not enough. This is especially true if money and acquiring money have become an excessity.

Revisit the Solomon quote in Ecclesiastes:

“Whoever loves money, never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless” (Eccl. 5:10).

Solomon was the wealthiest person of his day, above all the other kings on earth. He was incredibly wealthy and incredibly wise. He knew that wealth and acquiring wealth can become a black-hole, Gotta Have It! excessity. Perceiving money as security can create an obsession with money and the things money can buy. And because money can, quite frankly, buy a great deal, there is a tendency to assign it more power than it’s due; there is a tendency to trust it more than is wise.

Money is not permanent because it can be lost in a blink of an eye (or in the crash of the stock market, or in the devaluation of currency, or through theft or malfeasance or cooked books). It is not permanent in the here and now, and it’s absolutely irrelevant in the hereafter. Money can get you some tract when you’re alive, but it is useless to you when you’re dead:

“Do not be overawed when a man grows rich, when the splendor of his house increases; for he will take nothing with him when he dies, his splendor will not descend with him” (Ps. 49:16-17).

In cruder, present-day language: The hearse doesn’t come with a trailer.

Money promises to provide security, but it often creates the opposite:

“A man’s riches may ransom his life, but a poor man hears no threat” (Prov. 13:8).

The more stock you set in the things you have, including money and things money can buy, the greater the threat of losing it all. Those who have much have much to lose. Those with little, sleep under a lesser threat of loss and can feel more secure.

Money can be a source of security, but it can also be a source of heartburn:

“The sleep of a laborer is sweet, whether he eats little or much, but the abundance of a rich man permits him no sleep” (Eccl. 5:12).

If you put all your security eggs in the money basket, then you must perpetually worry about eggs breaking and losing both.

Source: Chapter 5, “Our Need for Security” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc

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The Security Blanket of Youth: Craig’s Story

Posted on August 26, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help, who rely on horses, who trust in the multitude of their chariots and in the great strength of their horsemen, but do not look to the Holy One of Israsel, or seek help from the Lord. (Isaiah 31:1)

I haven’t put in a call to Egypt lately or enlarged my garage to fit a chariot, but I can still relate to this Isaiah verse. In the search for security, all of us run toward our perceived protection. The less secure we feel, the faster we run and the tighter we cling. Like a two-year-old with a blankie, letting go just doesn’t seem to be an option.

CRAIG’S STORY

Craig didn’t like getting older. It messed with the mental picture he had of himself as perpetually in his early twenties. That was when he felt the most vital, the most alive, the most in control of his world. He could hit a drive like Phil and a jump shot like Kobe. He’d been single in his early twenties, without family obligations and responsibilities like he had now. Craig wanted to stay suspended in that moment in time, even though the earth kept revolving underneath him and time marched on.

He joined a variety of gyms over the years and used all of them to tell himself he’d get fit soon.

He kept buying costly golf clubs, sure that the next expensive innovation with the titanium shaft and computer-designed “sweet spot” was just the one to do the trick and give him back his edge.

Craig bought a low-slung, high-octane sports car that he took out of the garage whenever the sun was out and his wife was gone.

Always on the lookout for the next big financial deal, he lost track of the money he’d “invested” over the years, so sure the next one would prove once and for all his business acumen. W

henever he had the opportunity and — according to his wife — sometimes when he didn’t, he chose to dress like someone 15 years younger. He knew the places to shop where the latest urban styles were “upsized” to fit more mature physiques.

His friends were of two different sets: a younger group of men, generally golfing or basketball buddies, who made him feel as though he had shed years if not pounds — and an older set, generally business acquaintances, whose greater age always cemented his status as Craig the Younger.

Craig had few friends or even significant acquaintances his own age. He didn’t really feel comfortable with men his own age. Instead, he liked younger men because that’s how he saw himself, and older men because they always seemed to have something to offer.

Craig made sure he had all the latest gadgets so popular with the younger set. If he heard about something one week, he made sure to buy it the next. This caused his wife to roll her eyes and bemoan one more “whatever,” but Craig figured that it was his money and that he had a right to spend it on whatever he wanted.

What he really wanted was to be considered relevant and young. If spending a few hundred dollars, or often more, could achieve that feeling, well, it was a bargain. The younger guys were jealous of what he could buy because they knew what it was, and the older guys were impressed because they didn’t. Either way, it put Craig in the driver’s seat, just like he was twentysomething all over again.

Source: Chapter 5, “Our Need for Security” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc

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Praying for Peace Over Anxiety

Posted on August 24, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

Anxiety is fear, worry and apprehension all rolled into one. It is an overwhelming belief that the worst is coming and that you absolutely are not prepared to handle it. Anxiety produces panic and dread.

The feelings of doom and disaster are so real, it can prompt you to run toward destructive behaviors as the lesser of two evils. In this case, the excessity functions not so much to produce pleasure as to throw up a buffer against those feelings of anxiety. As such, the excessity is given carte blanche; it is ceded a great deal of latitude and power because of the desperation and fear of the anxiety.

When you experience anxiety, God does not want you running to an excessity; He wants you running to Him. The verse that started this chapter says that you and I are not to be anxious about anything but that in everything, by prayer and petition, we are to tell God what we need to deal with our anxiety. This verse is amazing in its all-encompassing nature with its use of the words anything and everything.

God knows that only He is able to counter the power that anxiety can exert over our lives.

If you are anxious, you are to give it over to God completely, totally, without reserve. You are also to adjust your thinking from being anxious to being grateful, which is quite a shift! Being grateful, however, is a very useful tool because it forces you to concentrate on the good things instead of the bad.

Anxiety scoops up any possible bad thing, with the cyclonic power of an emotional whirlwind, and sends you spinning wildly out of control. Gratitude, however, is an anchor, tethering you to God through a remembrance and acknowledgement of the good things. Gratitude also redirects your thinking away from all the thing you can’t control, toward all of the things God can.

Anxiety, in my experience, is like a runaway train. The longer it goes uncontrolled, the more speed it picks up…until it is screaming down the track of your thoughts, pushing anything and everything else out of its way. Only God, through the divine communion found in prayer, through His Spirit, is able to slow that train down and put your thoughts back on proper track.

Prayer allows your mind to rest, to surrender over to God instead of surrendering to the panic. When you do this, God promises that He will give you His peace. Peace and panic cannot exist in the same space. They are mutually exclusive.

Peace is the true antidote for anxiety, not a cover-it-over, just make-it-all-go-away Gotta Have It! excessity.

Source: Chapter 4, “Our Need for Reassurance” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc

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Is Worry Your Default Position?

Posted on August 21, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

For some people, worry itself can almost be classified as an excessity — as a Gotta Have It! behavior — because of how quickly they default to a worry position. For them, a state of worry is a state of familiarity. Perhaps for you, worry allows you to prepare for any possible eventuality — and because there’s no real need to prepare for something positive, the eventualities you prepare for always range from bad to worse.

Because you are so familiar with and so good at the worry game, your range is broad and all encompassing:

A negative comment from your boss today means you’re going to be fired tomorrow. A stomachache today means an ulcer tomorrow. A headache is a brain aneurysm. A gained pound is obesity. And on and on it goes. When anything’s possible, there’s no limit to the possible calamity. In some ways, worry is like watching a movie — except it’s your own private disaster film. That internal viewing can be so compelling, you’re blinded to the reality. The what-ifs crowd out the what-is. Worry is a real scene-stealer, and the scenes being stolen are bits of your life.

When worry is your default setting, you will often turn to excessities in order to provide just a little white noise to drown out worry’s drumbeat. Often, the excessity is food. I have known people who could eat to their feelings of worry the same as someone mindlessly munches popcorn at the movie theater or a bag of chips while watching television. Eating and worry go hand in hand, like drinking coffee and smoking a cigarette.

Worry, with its constant “on” switch, negatively impacts health. Every week it seems, we are inundated by another study showing the deleterious effects of worry and stress on our lives. Generally, these are followed up by advertisements touting the latest thing to magically ease our worries and make all that stress melt away. But if any of these things actually worked in the long term, our collective worry would be decreasing, not increasing, along with our need for the latest deworrier.

One of the reasons Jesus came to earth was to help explain to us the way things really are. Remember what Jesus said about worry:

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink: or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the bids of the air; they do not sow or reap or stow away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are y0u not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splender was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you? O you of little faith. So do not worry saying, “What shall we eat?” or “What shall we drink?” or “What shall we wear?” For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. ~Matt. 6:25-34

Every time I read this passage, I am struck by the types of things Jesus says not to wory about. He says not to worry about what you’ll eat, what you’ll drink, or what you’ll wear. These are definite needs; they are even identified as such. Yet Jesus says you’re not to worry about them. That would seem like a flippant, “just don’t'” kind of response to a very real concern if it weren’t for the reason Jesus gives. He says you’re not to worry about them because God already knows you need them. Worry, it appears, takes far too much time and energy away from more important things, like seeking God’s kingdom and His righteousness.

Worry is like an illustration I remember seeing of the levee system in New Orleans during Hurrican Katrina.

On the top of the water, the concrete walls of the levee looked so massive and strong. However, under the water the relentless wave action of the water was gradually eating away at the earthen berm upon which the concrete wall stood. Wave by wave, a little more of the earth was gouged out and exposed to the corrosive power of the water. Eventually, the foundation upon which the levee wall stood was completely undermined — and it failed, allowing the water to rush in and flood the area.

I think worry is like that. Wave by wave, gradually over time, worry eats away at the foundation of our lives, at our emotional, relational, physical, and spiritual foundations. Jesus says the answer to worry is to choose not to and instead put your efforts and time into concentrating on the things of God. This activity, by its very nature, will shore up and strengthen your foundations.

Source: Chapter 4, “Our Need for Reassurance” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc

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Are Your Excessities Fueled By Anxiety?

Posted on August 19, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

Many of the people I work with are burdened by fear, worry, and anxiety affecting their ability to live productive and happy lives. These same feelings propel them headlong into excessities. Often, they are focsed on the negativity associated with their excessities, such as obesity or alcoholism or addiction to pornography. They want help to “just stop” whatever those things are that has taken control over their lives, as if those things were merely actions. It is a deeper issue, however, to work through their fear at the heart of those actions. Often, the source has been blown completely out of proportion. They are consumed with the what-ifs and what-abouts instead of recognizing the what-is.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, almost 7 million adults will experiencea condition known as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) in any given year. GAD is a chronic condition where a person lives with anxiety, worry, and tension, even when there is little outside reason for it. This fear is accompanied by a variety of physical symptoms, such as fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, muscle-aches, difficulty swallowing, trembling, twitching, irritability, sweating and hot flashes. It’s as if you’re all ready for the fight of your life but can’t really see who your enemy is. The true enemy is fear.

Generalized anxiety disorder falls under the category of anxiety disorders, which also includes panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, social phobia, and other phobias (such as agoraphobia).

As you read through explanations of each of these conditions, I’d like you to examine whether or not it is possible one or more of them are fueling some of your excessities. You don’t need to be officially diagnosed as having one of these disorders to be able to recognize whether or not somehting about it resonates with you. Carla wasn’t ever diagnosed as obsessive-compulsive, yet her extreme need to exercise contains some OCD components. Keep that in mind as you read these exclamations from the National Institute of Mental Health.

Panic Disorder — this debilitating condition is when a person is seized suddenly by intense feelings of terror, fear, and impending loss of control. It is accompanied by a racing heart, feeling sweaty, weak, faint, or dizzy, and is often interpreted by the person as a heart attack.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder — this is a condition where a person is plagued by incessant unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and/or repetitive behaviors (compulsions). The person often develops the repetitive behaviors as a way to guard against or mitigate the unwanted thoughts. The repetitive behaviors can include things like hand washing, counting, cleaning, or checking things. The person hopes doing these rituals will prevent or guard against the obsessive thoughts. While doing the rituals provides temporary relief, not doing the rituals actually adds to the person’s anxiety.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder — this reaction is the result of a terrifying event or situation where the person experienced or expected to receive serious injury. The clarity o fthe danger is so real, so immediate, it continues to intrude into the person’s life — producing feelings of stress and panic — even when there is no longer any danger. It’s as if, once activated, their fight-or-flight response refuses to shut off, leaving them feeling numb and detached from life and those they love. They may also experience trouble sleeping.

Social Phobia — a person with a social phobia views social situations as battlefields, places of extreme danger. It affects fifteen million adult Americans in any given year. In social situations, they are terrified of being watched and judged by other people. sure they will in some way be humiliated or embarrassed. Eating around or speaking to other people is sheer torture.

Phobias — social phobias can lead to other phobias, such as agoraphobia. People with panic disorders can also develop agoraphobia, as they seek to avoid any situation or place that produced a panic attack in the past. Their list of “safe places” becomes smaller and smaller.

All of these conditions have at their base fear, worry, and anxiety. These can be hard taskmasters when acceded to and given control over your life. When those negative feelings take on larger-than-life proportions, they produce feelings of panic and dread even on a day when the sky is blue, the air is clean, and the sun is shining. The more feelings of panic they produce, the more apt you are to seek out behaviors that produce reassurance that all is well — or, at least, all is well for right now.

Excessities can become a close-your-eyes, plug-your-ears, sing-la-la-la-la-la activity to drown out the drumbeat of fear, worry, and anxiety.

Source: Chapter 4, “Our Need for Reassurance” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc

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When Exercise is Exorcise: Carla’s Story

Posted on August 17, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

We live in an anxious world, and one of our deepest needs is to be reassured in the midst of our anxiety. Paul, in Philippians, tells us we should quell our anxiety through prayer and petition. Instead, however, we have reached for everything from pills to pasta, working to workouts, pull tabs to Prozac — without any lasting reassurance.

In our anxious world, we cry out, “It’s not going to be okay!” as we come face-to-face with our fears, worries, and anxieties. In this world, we can feel vulnerable or at risk, often without being able to clearly identify why. We feel in danger, and the higher the sense of danger, the greater the need for reassurance.

Often, reassurance comes through an excessity. Is fear, worry, or anxiety at the root of any of your Gotta Have It! behaviors?

CARLA’S STORY

Carla could feel that tinge of panic starting. Because of an amazingly busy week, complicated by a persistent head cold, she had gone three days without exercising. She was starting to feel jumpy, irritable, like she wanted to crawl out of her own skin. She needed to excercise; things weren’t right in the her world if she didn’t.

Exercise kept the monsters at bay.

Carla had lived intimately connected to the monster of low self-esteem, poor body image, and fear of fat for years. She relied on the feeling of pushing herself to the limit, giving herself an edge over those insecurities.

Exercising, for Carla, had become exorcising; when she exercised physically, she emotionally exorcised her emotions, her anxieties. Nothing else she did kept the panic under control. If she could just get back to exercising, everything would be fine — or at least back at status quo.

She never felt she was really accomplishing anything by exercising, but at least she wasn’t losing ground to the monsters. After three days, she could feel that ground start to shift.

For Carla, exercise was an excessity, truly a Gotta Have It! activity. Exercise soothed her worry and panic. After she exercised, she felt reassured that the disaster she lived with every day, lurking on the sidelines, would not happen — at least not today.

Carla lived in fear of becoming fat. At the root of this fear was a tremendous insecurity about who she was a person. Carla worked very hard to keep her outside “perfect” becuase she felt so imperfect on the inside. If she ever became fat, then the worst would happen — her outside would mirror her inside, and she would no longer be able to hide. Carla lived in fear of exposure. Being thin was her defensive barrier and she was willing to do just about anything to shore up that defense.

Some of you can immediately identify with Carla. For the rest of you, however, before you autmoatically say, “Whew! That isn’t me,” I want you to take a moment to reconsider. Sometimes your Gotta Have It! behavior isn’t meat to usher in things that make you feel good, but rather that behavior is meant to keep out things that make you feel bad.

Fear worry, and anxiety can make you feel bad — and they can become all-consuming, fueling those particular excessities tied to them. If you want to defuse the power of your excessities, you need to determine what negative feelings are at the heart of any of them.

Source: Chapter 4, “Our Need for Reassurance” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc

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What is the True Source of Your Need?

Posted on August 14, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

What are your true needs for comfort? Put another way, what are the real reasons behind your discomfort, your suffering? Do you resonate with any of these?

… Because of a hard life or work and toil, do you feel ground down by life and how hard it it?

… Because of the death of a loved one, have you experienced the physical death of someone close, the death of a relationship, or even the death of a dream in your life?

… Because of prejudice and oppression, are you the recipient of hostility and harm, or are others taking advantage of you?

… Because of physical illness, are you experiencing an unexpected affliction, a chronic physical condition, or even a spiritual wasting away?

… Becase of catastrophic life circumstances, do you fear you are or are about to become overwhelmed by life and what it brings?

… Because of a broken heart, do you feel yourself shattered by circumstance and wonder how you’ll find the strength to heal and move forward?

… Because of suffering, do you feel you’re living in your own private hell because of the pain in your life?

When you can identify the source of your true need for comfort, unencumbered by the camouflage of your excessities, you can put your energies into addressing them — and then your excessities will naturally loosen their grip on your life.

The good news is all of this is that God is ready, willing, and able to comfort you in whatever suffering you experience. In the midst of all of suffering, the psalmist was able to say this to God: “Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope. My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life” (Ps. 119:49-50).

Today, God’s Word is also for you, and it is His desire to give you hope, to give you comfort in the midst of suffering, for God has promised to walk that particular road with you:

In the midst of my pain, God, I cry out to You, the source of hope and comfort. I confess I have reached for too many other things in order to be comforted. I have made those other things my god and set them up as idols in my life. I worshipped at those altars every time I turned to them and not to You to provide me with comfort. Help me find balance in my life. Help me find more of You in my life.

Source: Chapter 3, “Our Need for Comfort” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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Chris’ Story: Nothing Gold Can Stay

Posted on August 12, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

Chris felt battered and bruised by life.

When he got into his car, it seemed like all the other drivers were idiots; driving to work was a real chore. Arriving at work didn’t really make him feel any better because even though he never knew what the day would bring, he always felt underappreciated and overworked.

It wasn’t any better at home, where Chris felt vaguely disapproved of by his wife and consistently disrespected by his children. At 47, he couldn’t get up after sitting for any length of time without something somewhere hurting.

Drinking brought him a sense of relief.

Alone in his study, a couple of drinks were just what Chris needed to take the edge off the day and build up a warm, hazy buffer against the problems that kept grim vigil in the hall. He knew they wouldn’t go away, but for a time he didn’t have to think about them. He didn’t have to think about anything. Just drink is scotch, watch the television, and shut out the world.

Chris is like so many people who choose the temporary fix of their excessity over the deeper work of the uncovering the source of suffering in their lives. Chris, like so many people, chose the death of a thousands cuts over emotional surgery to correct the true issue. They keep on believing their pain will go away if they continue to plaster it over with an excessity. The problem is that such a shortcut solution has no hope of lasting.

NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY

This life is based upon impermanence.

Psalm 144:4 says “Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow.” Anything that we create to be lasting is, because of our own fleeting nature, short lived at best.

I think one of the most poignant descriptions of the impermanence of life is the famous poem by Robert Frost called “Nothing Gold Can Stay.” It is, appropriately, very brief and speaks about the fragile nature of nature itself, beginning with the golden miracle of a tiny leaf. Such a miracle, though, is temporary, with the inevitable withering of that golden leaf, and leaf by leaf after that. The poem ends by lamenting,

So dawn goes downt ot day. / Nothing gold can stay.

We hold on to our excessities like they are golden leaves, but they were never meant to stay. Any comfort they produce cannot last.

Source: Chapter 3, “Our Need for Comfort” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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The Role of Comfort as Defined by God

Posted on August 10, 2010 by Dr. Jantz

In the New International Version of the Bible, the word comfort appears 72 times. Interestingly enough, the word discomfort only appears once. In Jonah 4:6, it says, “Then the Lord God provided a vine and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the vine.”

Two things to note in this verse:

One, it says “ease his discomfort” not eradicate it; and, two, even easing discomfort can produce feelings of happiness. Yet, ease from discomfort is fleeting — as evidenced in the very next verse, when God causes a worm to come and chew the vine and kill it, leaving Jonah out of shade and back in discomfort. God uses this whole discomfort-vine-worm scenario to teach Jonah something about himself.

When God took away the vine, which was so comforting to Jonah, Jonah became very angry. God used this as a way to show Jonah his misplaced priorities. Jonah was very concerned about the vine and about his own comfort. He was more concerned, in fact, about his own physcial condition than he was about the spiritual condition of 120,000 souls in the city of Nineveh.

Jonah, refusing to do what God wanted, rushed into the desert to pout and wound up angry because the desert is a place where there is little food, little water, little vegetation, and a whole lot of sun. Perhaps some of the discomfort we find in our own lives comes not from some worldly conspiracy against us but from the natural consequence of our own decisions. Like with Jonah, God may use our discomfort to teach us how to make better decisions next time and avoid that particular discomfort in the future.

According to Scripture, there is a real need for comfort in life because there is real pain in life. Here are a few of examples where comfort is needed:

Because of a hard life of work and toil (Gen. 5:29)
Because of the death of a loved one (Gen. 24:67 and many others)
Because of prejudice and oppression (Ruth 2:13, Eccl. 4:1)
Because of physical illness (Job 7:13)
Because of catastrophic life circumstances (Ps. 23:4; Isa. 51:19)
Because of a broken heart (Ps. 69:20; Jer. 8:18)
Because of suffering (Ps.119:50)

Comfort lies at the heart of God Himself. He is the originator of comfort, knowing and understanding the pain and suffering that have come into this world. Thas was never His plan, but comfort — true comfort — is one of His solutions.

His plan is found in 2 Corinthians 1:3-7, in which the word comfort is used nine times:

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

Some of the suffering of others I have observed over the years makes no sense to me at all. I cannot find any reason for it, and it has at times stretched my belief in a caring and compassionate God. But so often I have been comforted in that doubt by the very people who suffered so. By sharing their sufferings, they arrive at a place of comfort. Because of the incomprehensible nature of this interaction between comfort and suffering, I know it is the work of God.

Source: Chapter 3, “Our Need for Comfort” in Gotta Have It! by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

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Monthly Archives: August 2010

Fame, Status, Success: Real or Imagined?

In Money We Trust? What the Bible Says About Wealth

The Security Blanket of Youth: Craig’s Story

Praying for Peace Over Anxiety

Is Worry Your Default Position?

Are Your Excessities Fueled By Anxiety?

When Exercise is Exorcise: Carla’s Story

What is the True Source of Your Need?

Chris’ Story: Nothing Gold Can Stay

The Role of Comfort as Defined by God

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