It’s been said about the stuff you find in garage sales that “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” Conversely, that would mean that one man’s treasure is another man’s trash. Garage-sale treasures aside — is the same true for God-given treasures? Do we turn things that God intended as treasures into something less appealing? I believe we do; we take things that God intended for good and trash them or abuse them until that good pleasure becomes a prison.

Our “prison cells” are lush. They’re cushioned with lots of our favorate foods and a well-stocked liquor or medicine cabinet. To drown out the sounds of true hunger, we fill them with all manner of noisy and absorbing distractions. The bars on our prison cells are made from the relationships we enter into and the possessions we purchase.

We easily find ourselves imprisoned by those very things that are often no problem for someone else.

We each tend to harbor one or more secret activity or behavior that we just can’t seem to get enough of. This “never enough” activity becomes our absolute necessity, our reward, our coping mechanism. We need (or so we think) this activity to insulate ourselves from the world. Because this world can be a pretty tough place, we need a lot of insulation.

In moderation and proper context, this “never enough” activity or behavior can even be a good thing.  Problems arise when we think that a little of this feels good, so a lot should feel even better. But, as the verses from Haggai warn, it doesn’t. This, however, doesn’t stop us from trying — hard. Pretty soon, our “never enough” activity is the wheel in the case, and we’ve become the rodent … running and running and running but ultimately going nowhere.

Now this is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. You have planted much, but have harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.” ~Haggai 1:5-6

SOURCE: Chapter 2, “Examine Your Excess,” in Gotta Have It! by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Who hasn’t viewed an irate toddler in a store, yelling at the top of his tiny lungs, demanding the object of his heart’s desire? In the mind of that boy, he needs the candy, the toy, the bag, the box, or whatever.

In his mind, what he wants is what he needs.

Recently, I found myself in the grocery store at the end of a long day, needing to pick up milk on my way home from work. I was tired, distractd, and just wanted to be home. It turns out I wasn’t the only unhappy person in that store. A couple of aisles over, a little girl began keening loudly. I admit, grocery stores are incubators of human nature that I find irresistible, so — milk temporarily forgotten — I walked over to observe.

Usually I’m most interested in how the adult in the situation deals with the child. Believe me, over the years I’ve seen a variety of styles –  some that have made me smile and some that have made me cringe. This time, however, I was focused on the child.

This 2-year-old was gesturing desperately, fingers extended, at some object just out of reach. The important thing to me wasn’t what she was looking at, but rather how she was seeing it. In her mind, the object wasn’t a mere want — it had become a need. When her mother denied it to her, she became absolutely bereft, carrying on in a way only a despondent, denied toddler can.

As I made my way to the dairy section, through the checkout line, and back into my car, I kept thinking about how this kind of behavior is typical of small children. But I had to ask myself — do we ever really get over that?

Fast-forward to adulthood, and you’ll find the same thing: wants masquerading as needs.

When we were 2, we cried out to a parent to fill our heartfelt desires; as adults we endeavor to fill them ourselves. Once a desire has been categorized as a need, we’re pretty resourceful at finding a way to fill it — even when our methods are addictive, damaging, or hurtful. In our current credit-card-toting, get-it-now-but-pay-for-it-later society, we’re about as happy with the words no and not now as that bawling 2-year-old.

Add to that our concept of “rights.” Once we’ve identified a desire as a need, we tend to demand the right to fill that need. Deep down, we seem to acknowledge that a desire doesn’t quite meet the level of a basic need. Desires can be selfish, but a need is always a moral necessity. Once our desire gets translated into a need, it becomes a necessity in our lives; we’re pretty militant about getting that newly defined need met.

This leads me to a question: Are you ready to take a deep, hard look at your own self-identified needs?

I’ve found generally people haven’t really done any sort of intentional, directed work in this area. Mainly, they have a vaguely articulated sense of what they consider needs in their lives. Sometimes the only true way to determine how you really look at a particular aspect of your life — as a desire or as a need — is through your behaviors and your willingness or unwillingness to change. We’re willing to change, postpone, modify, or even relinquish a desire; we tend to take an over-my-dead-body approach to anything we think is a need.

Lest you think that that in this blog series I am only going to talk about what you think or I think, I want to establish the overriding them we’ll be using, which doesn’t come from you or me. The theme of this book comes from Jesus, sepaking to a crowd of people very much like us, with desires and needs and a difficult time differentiating between the two. They were just as apt to run after desires masquerading as needs.

In Matthew 6:31-33, Jesus said, “So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

Even if we don’t have a good handle on what our needs are, God does. And not only is He God; He’s also our Father. And as a father, He’s generous. He knows our needs, and He has a plan to supply them — and much more as well.

SOURCE: Chapter 1, “The Power of Want,” in Gotta Have It! by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Are you spending so much time trying to get what you want that you have no energy left to get what you need? Then I invite you to join me in a new blog series featuring excerpts from my new book, Gotta Have It! Freedom From Wanting Everything Right Here, Right Now.

Each of us has a “never enough activity, food, or behavior — and we’re ready to throw a grown-up tantrum when we don’t get it. I call this phenomenon excessity — when our excesses become necessities.

Excessities are our reward, our coping mechanism, and the illusory answer to pain. We feel we need their pleasure to insulate us from a difficult world. Yet the more we starve what we really need — such as purpose, hope, and security — the greater our hunger grows for what will never satisfy.

In Gotta Have It! you are invited to discover the truth that is hiding behind your secret desires. With real-life stories and sections for self-reflection, Gotta Have It! will help you see your life as never before — and delight in the ways God is longing to fulfill your true needs.

The book is divided into three sections:

Section 1 helps us identify those things that we’ve declared are an absolute necessity in life. It will also help identify if a necessity is — or has the potential to become — an overpowering excessity.

After identifying the truth behind our desires and wants, we’re going to take a look at our true needs in section 2. I will warn you up front that we are not the best judges of what our true needs are. Therefore, we’re also going to look at what God has to say about true needs and about wants and desires. When it comes to a plumb line for measuring whether or nothing something is a true need, we’re going to use God’s Word rather than relying on our own understanding or emotions. Take a deep breath now because this won’t be easy.

Section 3 is a reminder of the amazing provision of God in our lives. It will also help you to see the wisdom in letting go of some things so that you’re prepared to grab hold of others much more valuable.

Tomorrow section 1 begins — “The Power of Wants.”

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