Archive for March, 2010

You are Not a Disease: Emotional Challenges Plus Obsessive Behavior Equals Obesity

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

You may have been victimized by the medical model which says: If you keep sabotaging yourself and can’t lose weight on your own, then you must have a disease. As in, “Your obesity is a disease. Your eating is a disease, so we’d better give you some pills or suggest surgery. How about some staples in your stomach? That hopefully will do the trick. After all, it’s not your fault you have this disease, but we assure you that some medication or invasive treatment will cure it.”

EMOTIONAL CHALLENGES + OBSESSIVE BEHAVIOR = EXCESSIVE WEIGHT

You are not a disease. Do not allow any well-intentioned medically-trained person persuade you that you are. You are a person with emotional challenges that have taken the form of obsessive-compulsive behavior that has translated into excessive weight. That is where you must start, because form this honest premise you can move into a personal, self-corrective program where you can join the two percent who lose weight permanently.

We’re not going to talk about steps — twelve, fifteen, twenty, or one hundred. For weight loss, there is but one step in the right direction. People who lose weight permanently do not attend groups that treat them like victims, where they sit in a circle and talk about their powerlessness. What a disservice to say that we have no power!

Of course we have power, and plenty of it. (The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous make it clear — we have power through our Higher Power.) That’s what it’s vital to treat the whole person, not just a single part. Why does this work? Because rather than wallowing in a mire of powerlessness, people can learn to regain and reassert their power. They start to engage in a healthy self-focus, not narcissism. To become intimately acquainted with their deepest troubles and hurts means attaining a self-knowledge that allows them to look at their own souls with tender compassion, something they may not have done for some time. In the process, they learn that power has been given to them by their heavenly Father.

You become empowered when you provide yourself with four things:

  1. Discipline
  2. Freedom
  3. Acceptance of the truth that you are deeply loved
  4. Courage to face your fears

People who lose weight permanently move beyond blaming others for their weight. They take responsibility for their own actions because they know it’s the only way they will ever grow into the person God created them to be. People who lose weight permanently also learn to take full responsibility for their own emotional state of being. Blaming family is the easy way out, and it’s a dead-end street.

Perhaps the theme song of those who lose weight permanently should be the great spiritual that reminds us, “Not my brother, nor my sister, but it’s me, O Lord, standin’ in the need of prayer.”  Yes, Lord it’s me … and it’s you.

ENCOURAGEMENT FROM GOD’S WORD

“Therefore, my dear brothers [and sisters], stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” ~1 Corinthians 15:58

SOURCE: Chapter 2, Losing Weight Permanently: Secrets of the 2 Percent Club by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Right Words are Healing Words: How What You Say Affects Your Family

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

The words you use are vital to the SOAR concept for your familySupported, Optimistic, Active and Achieving, and Responsible. In fact, the words you use are vital in all areas of your relationship with your family. Consider these three Scripture verses:

Pleasant words promote instruction.” ~Proverbs 16:21

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” ~Proverbs 16:24

A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.” ~Proverbs 17:27

Do you see the importance of the words you use to communicate SOAR concepts and your demeanor while presenting them? You want your attitude and your words to be pleasant, not critical, and your demeanor to be even-tempered, not frustrated.

Now, you may ask, Why all this focus on my words? What does it matter what I say, as long as I tell the truth? The answer is found in Job 6:25, which says, “How painful are honest words! But what do your arguments prove?” When family members are resistant to positive changes, confronting them with the truth about their negative behavior and your positive changes may be necessary.

But, as Job says, it’s important to be aware of what your arguments will prove.

You don’t want to win your argument by crushing or belittling your opponent, especially if that “opponent” is a reluctant child or reticent spouse. SOAR is not meant to be coercive, nor is it meant to give you “ammunition” to blast your family for past mistakes or behaviors.

Your family will listen to what you say and how you say it to determine its validity and how to respond. Your words will  be either your greatest ally or your greatest enemy in motivating your family.

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” ~Proverbs 12:18)

Be a healer to your family through the wise words you choose.

SOURCE: Chapter 2, “S is for Support,” in Healthy Habits, Healthy Kid: A Practical Plan to Help Your Family by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Do You Have Healthy Self-Esteem? 8 Telling Traits

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

As you recognize and use your gifts, you develop a better self-image, higher energy, and increased good humor. Part of developing self-esteem is making a commitment to yourself not to try to please the world. If you wish to live out your giftedness and become strong — strong enough to take you from exhaustion to emotional health — then it’s critical that you make the time to learn and adopt the vital skills of a person with healthy self-esteem

8 TRAITS OF THOSE WITH HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM

1. They live with an attitude of humility. When our gifts and talents are discovered by others, our self-esteem immediately feels the positive thrust of that affirmation.

2. They speak the truth as they see it, without fear of rejection and with no intent to harm others. Speaking the truth lovingly is not dependent on whether the recipient is able to hear it. It is never part of our life’s assignment to mind other people’s business.

3. They know how to separate feelings from the message being delivered. Those with good levels of self-appreciation will find it progressively easier to separate emotions from the content of another’s communication and will recognize the importance of differentiating between the two in their own communications.

4. They recognize the role that emotions such as anger, fear, and guilt play in people’s lives. They no longer take their anger, fear, or guilt at face value but instead learn to look beneath the surface to determine the reason for and source of those emotions.

5. They don’t simply follow the followers. It’s like the timekeeper setting his watch by the clock in a jeweler’s window so that he can blow the lunch whistle exactly at noon, only to find out that the jeweler was setting his clock by the timekeeper’s noon whistle. This is another example of followers following followers.

6. They look for reasons to release others and believe in the ability of others to make decisions. We can help those we love by believing in their abilities and encouraging them to use their gifts. Persons who have healthy self-esteem themselves are better able to respect and appreciate the abilities and skills of others.

7. They are accountable in word and deed for what they say and do. Can people count on us when we say we’re going to do something? When we make a promise do we do our best to keep it? Becoming strong again means taking full responsibility for our actions, which quickly builds self-esteem.

8. They know the past is the past and the present is the present. They recognize that to be emotionally healthy they must move from victim to victor. The strong person with a growing self-esteem is the one who refuses to let the past control what happens today.

Rather than chasing temporary emotional rewards by playing games with the truth, you can learn to stand up for what you believe, speak the truth in love, live through the stormy times with energy and joy, and little by little rewrite your life script.

SOURCE: Chapter 2: “The Long Journey from Darkness to Light” in How to De-Stress Your Life by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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Coming Out of the Darkness: Treating Depression — Body, Mind and Spirit

Monday, March 1st, 2010

One of the remarkable similarities of those who suffer from depression is the common image of darkness they use to describe their depression. In an effort to articulate the unexplainable, they speak in terms of feeling burdened, weighed down, and oppressed. The overwhelming reality of depression manifests itself in recurring themes of despair and hopelessness. Though each individual may take a different route into that despair, the description of a hollowed-out destination of helplessness is universal.

The whole-person approach to depression recognizes individual paths to depression, its universal signatures, and the reality of individual routes to recovery. In helping each person to identify and work toward his or her recovery, the whole-person approach acknowledges and addresses the common emotional contributors to depression. We are emotional beings, and whatever the reasons for the depression, its expression comes through our emotional state.

When a person is depressed, it is vital to discover the emotional roots such as anger, fear, and guilt that firmly lock depression into a person’s mind-set. Something is arguing against optimism, hope, and joy. In order to address the emotional component of depression, the root cause must be uncovered, understood, and addressed in a positive, healing way.

Taking a multidimensional approach to recovery increases the rate of success.

While some use medication alone to get a handle on their depression, research shows a higher degree of healing occurs when therapy is combined with medication. Therapy or counseling provides  individuals with a safe place to talk about feelings and discuss past and current events in life that have contributed to who they are now. Therapists can also make suggestions about positive actions  people can integrate into their lives. We have found that when the whole-person approach is utilized, including an understanding of the body and the appropriate use of medication, the rates of recovery are further enhanced.

Are you depressed? Though no replacement for a formal diagnosis,  this survey can help you recognize the signs.

SOURCE: Chapter 1, “Emotional Currents, in Moving Beyond Depression by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD., founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources Inc.

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